girl next door


is it so hard to find someone who loves me for me?
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Sunday, July 31, 2005

YAY WENT CHURCH TODAY! lalala(:
so it's like i met sophia in the morning as usual, and her parents fetched me, and then we reach there. HAHA. -.-
the stuff at church is so cheem today. i can't think la.
and charmaine is like worried of her FATS again. hahaha. crazy woman.
i don't trust her future surgeric skills tho (:
and they said about going to some festivalsofpraise(is that the name? i din catch it properly. hehe) at singapore indoor stadium this coming fri. LALALA.
benedict showed us some damn lame face stuff. but kind of entertaining tho. hahaha.
and johnathan KINDLY owe me 3 cupnoodles! how interesting. i don't care. and taxi fares too!


Friday, July 29, 2005

OH YAY YAY IM OFFICIALLY HAPPY!
and there's time for church this sunday! WOOHOOO.
but sigh. sometimes i think that over-confidence kills. SERIOUS.
after the math paper today i was like 98% confident i could at least top the class or something but then i realised a horrible truth.
i got the simplest question in the paper wrong. i mistook a cyclinder for a cone.
tada. THATS IT. end of story (:
but oh wells. just i have learnt to take things in my stride.
one cannot always be successful. there must be falls in our lives. it cannot be perfect.
i shldn't be this idiot trying to seek perfection in my life when it could never be.
so, TADA(:
and i forgot to bring back my chi txtbk and there's chi test next wed! and tues got choir rehearsal for national day performance. HOHO.
well, rhd celebrations today! nothing to celebrate about actually. no special performance no nothing. but still, FUN!!
started with morning. me reaching the sch one of the earliest as usual.
then char came along and they were helping her with her sari! haha.
in the end it was nice! then aarthi came along and OOOH MY COSTUME CAME TOO!
i told her to bring shiny shiny one! LOL. and i have decided to wear a cheongsam next yr! if my waistline doesnt grow that is LOL HAHAHA I KNOW XUEMIN U ARE CURSING ME.
then then pictures! WOOHOOO. went around the opposite block to take with losta ppl too! pictures up later(:
then choir and blah blah. went to mph to prac. and SAW SABBY PLAY BADMINTON.
wah so xiong! chao nice. hehe. din have time to take with the choir ppl =(
ARG. ooh yah yah then at canteen after choir, gossiping with gupreet and sabby! LOL. hahaha cannot imagine right.
then dad came to fetch me. and saw gupreet's car on the way and kept waving to her.
guess i m becoming more spas and spas as the days goes on.
anyways thank you ego boar alot for cheering me up everytime. hoho. -.-
and hello charmaine i know u are reading this. but I JUST LOVE LOOKING AT U AND SMILE AT U SPASTICALLY. (:


anyways, which stream shld i choose? the option form(1) is already out.
el, hmt, math, a math are compulsary subs.

option 1 : above + phy + chem + bio + ss geog
option 2 : above + chem + bio + ss geog + lit (heard its a hot fave cos bio and life sci huh. LOL)
option 3 : above + chem + bio + ss geog + hist
option 4 : above + phy + chem + ss geog + lit/music
option 5 : above + phy + chem + ss history + geog
option 6 : above + phy + chem + ss lit + geog
option 7 : above + chem + bio + ss geog + art

option 8 : above + chem + bio + ss geog + f&n
option 9 : above + bio/art/music + science(p/c) + ss geog

i would love to take lit. but look at our sch lit msg. 5 -.-


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

finally can sit down and have a nice time blogging.

reply tags! =P

sabby! no lor since when did u see me doing well in english. haha. two down two to go! (:

BRAINY!!!! omg omg omg im high now! hahahaha. 2.4 sucked. my 3seconds la. omg. HAHA U SHLD HAVE RAN CAN! then py won't be first lol. cos brainy will !! hohohoho. so boring nowadays. ahhhhhh. i just saw u slping in class ytd! hehe. i updated!

evan! WAVES FRANTICALLY! -hello! hahaha. poke poke poke.

jialing!!!! YOU ARE SO MEAN. hmmmph.

jappy!!!! YES SHE IS EVIL. must be learn from you since young. see la your fault! =P hahahaha (:

screwed up chi compre test today. AHHH. 30 marks can. i so xintong now. hahaha now the community singing has started, TWO A PLS SING. don't make me and weekie scream our hearts out can. rui en rocks la. taufik don't. sing the national day song for RUI EN. hoho. going for some shit competition using the shit midi software tmr? chye says 5 schs are participating whatever. i don't care if i lose. i only care if i win. LOLLL.

went for the choral concert ytd. oh haha THANKS ALOT CHENYANG for your ride. (: got back math paper the one that we did ytd. no particular feeling about it. all i care is COMMON TEST. just found out the history test last week is 50% of our CA2? WTFFF. at least you shld tell us right. SIGH.

sophia says 2N did better than 2A for the sci test we getting back tmr. but our highest higher than theirs by 0.5 marks. but that's cos 2 in our class failed. SIGH. finals for buzz @ canteen tmr. im scared. GRRRR. and went to ps with char and yr for the black tank top. whatever. HAHA.


Saturday, July 23, 2005

oh god.
i actually slept from 4+PM to 7+PM.
i guess i'm just as dead as anybody for the FOUR tests next week.
oh wells. ):
and worst thing is after the sleep, my muscles hurt like shit.

damned- need to chiong my math le! TWO MATH TESTS WTFF.

/i can only wait.



OH MAN.
my muscles are hurting more.
now is quan shen suan tong :whole body ache! >.<
the muscle pain reliever creamS are not working!
except for the damn siao-ed burning sensation last night.

just went for dance prac. char called me early in the morning like 7AM like that?
hehe. julynn your powerpoint(: is so funny can! i think of it i want to laugh la. but AWWW it's sweet. hahaha.

im so pissed over what i saw over the internet (some of you shld know what im referring to).
it's just so wrong to do that. assuming victory when everything hasn't started.
what kind of attitude is that man. c'mon.
doesn't mean your academics are better means you would be success in everything.
say it after all has ended is fine. not when nothing started.
hate her attitude. that's not a courtesy of her to say THAT.

honesty courtesy perseverance. cedar sch motto. that's the way (:


Friday, July 22, 2005

HOHO.
ok sarah i will update!
screwed 5items today. don't talk to me about it. i will roar at you. i mean it.
and the stupid sort of test thingy tay gave made it worse.
anws thanks ppl for cheering me up!

went nats track and field on wed. (:
and i know all the sec2 netballers except one! hahahaaha.
hello charlene KAIWEI! hahaha.
your interesting 80 bucks bag laaa!
cedar got 2nd for b div and 3rd for c div. lalala.
DARSHINI'S 800M WAS SO ENJOYABLE!
AND THE BDIV AND CDIV 4x400! SO NICE TO WATCH!
hoho. and when they announced hwa chong got like duno what position,
the spas hwa chong ppl were like dancing with their sch flags on the field?! HAHA
like jump left jump right -.- even got ppl dance on the bungalows they hung their flags on cos they cannot come back in time.
TOTAL JOKE.
but omg la jiayuan rocked toooooooo!

if chenyang ever sees this but doubt he will, cheer up over your 1500 finals okay? like you said your FORTE isn't track but xcntry! so yes yes ((:

thanks jialing! haha.

HELLO CHAR! you are becoming more spas as the days go. SO SPAS SO SPAS! hehe.

sometimes i really don't get what you're trying to say.


Monday, July 18, 2005

congrats kaiyin & trudy & xuemin for getting in 2nd round for njc ip (:

/just shut up. and go away. it's all an act of sham.


Sunday, July 17, 2005

thanks to the lil note sophia passed me during tuition,
I FEEL SO HIGH AND I WANT TO PLAY BADMINTON NOW! (:
ahhh. anyone to play with me? hehe.
anws thanks christopher for that piece of paper i can finally do my chi presentation le! TADA`
xinrui is so funny. she enjoys doing sci notes.
oh yah. i need someone to teach me how to play bball in case i malu myself again>.<
hahaha. anyone? pls contact me if you are willing to do so! hehe.


Saturday, July 16, 2005

HOHOHO! (:
just came back from church bbq! totally rocked!
ok first me and sophia met and her mum fetched us there.
but we were late as it was supposed to start at 6PM! haha.
so we went there. and saw charmaine and xiying they all studying geog!
then we went to bbq the HOTDOGS!
hahahaha. it was bad. cos it was really covered with black tar.
then charmaine and xiying and sheena? kindly peeled the skin off! hehe.
then they were like telling us the guys will cook. so chicken comes in.
OH WE BBQ-ED THE OTAH TOO! hehe.
then it was like drizling and we each had two mass group praying that it will stop.
and i said hope that it will stop raining or else no more black hotdogs le! hahaha.
and we eat and eat and eat. i spotted the orange punch! hehe.
the fish is nice too! lalala. then just sat there eating and talking and asking each other's sch.
sheena's pro! SSS- singapore sports sch! hehe. but now she transfer to rgs.
surprisingly all the girls are sec2 except kara that is. hehe.
we started talking about ambitions and stuff. sophia and sheena and xiying wants to be cycologist! hehe.
and charmaine started about her experiences helping her ah-ma taking out the bone in her throat? HAHA!
and talked about ccas in pri sch and now and stuff! they say i look like hand-bell. ohmygod. hahaha! and we realised alot of us keep changing cca in pri sch! hehe.
charmaine's scared of fats can! she like peeled the chicken skin until.. ho ho ho.
and xiying is busy eating the skin charmaine peeled!
as things went along we ate the bee hoon and other stuff. then benedict nicely serving us the food which was mostly chicken just that it's different type of chicken in different package. LOL.
the potato with melted cheese rocked too! (:
then sheena started bbq-ing her cheese banana. which dropped on the first attempt.
while me sophia and charmaine and xiying was bbq-ing MARSHMELLOWS!
look: we deduced that there were 3 grades of marshmellows. like durian alot of grades. got the WHITE one. the BROWN one. and the BLACK one! hohoho.
then we started to clear up. but of cos with sheen'a CHEESE BANANA! hahaha.
me and xiying went to wash the tongs used to bbq the marsh! but she cut her hand.
take care okay? (: then and so on.
then wanted to extinguish the fire. charmaine started off with a cup of water -.-
then in the end they might as well use the whole pail.
charmaine was so blur, she stood there when benedict was pouring the whole pail of water.
as a result she was covered with ashes! hahaha. poor charmaine!
so then we wanted to play bball. but no ball. borrowed the ball. and play while sheena still inside playing table tennis with the guys.
SHEENA'S A PRO. she can play badminton so well! and table tennis and bball too!
then we started off trying to shoot the ball in.
WE ALL SHOT TWO BALLS IN AT LEAST!
then match started. ho ho ho. i was like screaming here and there.
but of cos it's anyhow play.
then finish le went in to play table tennis. played with sophia but i was treating it like BADMINTON. hohoho. created a mess outta myself.
then BADMINTON!!!! weeeee` at first i forgot how to serve the ball while playing with charmaine but picked it up later on.
then it was kind of okay. hehe! then charmiane sabo-ed me with a game with SHEENA.
that's like. hello. she was in SSS >.<>.<> GREAT DAY! (:
but i can't go church tmr. but... (x


Friday, July 15, 2005

i hate this home. couldn't i just run away. and don't come back.

i shall be a happy girl! (:
abandon the thoughts. and ... SLEEP! (x



DARSHINI YOU ROCK!
she got FIRST 1st YES FIRST! for B DIV 800m run and BROKE THE NATIONAL RECORD!
next weds the finals for 800m C DIV she sure will make another miracle one! (:
too bad that stupid yck stadium too small we cannot go like last yr cos last yr's in national stadium -.-
--
history assignments up. and due in 2 weeks time?
ipw graded and just knew it, people just don't care. so is the same thing for eng commercial.
chinese cheng2 bao4 next fri, and principal&hodchi coming to watch our classes? DIE.
haven't even thought of what to write.
--
2 tests next week. but like, i haven't started. and furthermore i lost the most important piece of paper ms han gave to us for the reliability SBQ. how!?


i really really wanna go church bbq ):


Wednesday, July 13, 2005

in sch comp lab now. haha -.-

took some test introduced by the ppl in the comp lab.
--

You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.
You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you.
You are not an argumentative sort of person and 'rather than fight - you'd switch' (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself - as sometimes you may try to do - you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you 'feel' and 'hurt' a lot.
It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.
You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realize all your ambitions.


Monday, July 11, 2005

going through hell.
cried in class again. when tbc was scolding me.
it's not like i want to look dreamy.
i HAVE been dreamy. it's a thing can't be help right.
imagine trying to do your work so hard and like until so late and like your friends just asks their tuition tchr to help and they'll get an A. what about me?
rah. lim rui wen. what the heck you doing?
two times in two weeks. are you insane or what? ><
are you just gonna waste your life like this thinking that you have that little intelligence and that will help you scrape pass all the tests in your life and that you will always remain at the top?
have you forgotten what happened two yrs ago?
that place, seems so far and unreachable to you.
but have you forgotten what you and sarah was talking about that night?
and promised to get in together? with 7A1s? and promised to work hard? just to get yourself a place in there?
haven't you told yourself you must be strong? the faith you had in yourself? and never to think of all these stupid things? and even taking a detour back to your house to THINK.
haven't you told yourself not to go out everyday after school? and not shouting at your mum even if it's really that uncontrollable?
or is it that you haven't tried enough?
sometimes you just find that the person you trust most actually did things behind your back.
---

anyways, went with yirong and eileen and amira and amira's lil sister DINA (hehe) to plaza sing to buy jasmine low wee kie's present. yeah.


replies

QIXUAN! hahaha thanks. i wasn't confident. but cher wrote i was confident -.- ANWS. imagine us in the stupid gown with stupid makeups on national day performance. EWWWW. hehe(:

JUNLING! haha ok will relink you when i feel no lazy more. hehe.

SARAH! my believe is fading away la! hehe. guess so. but it's still good to dream yeahs?

PIGGY<33 i seriously don't know. yeah i guess bah. as in. if you think what's good for you go for it. i will definitely wish you all the best. and i mean it(: guess it's the heart that counts right? tho if u leave cedar then we won't see each other everyday and me passing by your class during lessons, but as long as you trudy and my PIGS' heart are together. nothing really matters(:


Sunday, July 10, 2005

good luck to trudy for your piano grade8 exam tmr! (x



HAHAHA TODAY ROCKED!
woke up early in the morning (so unlike me hehe) and went to church with sophia(:
kind of fun and know quite a few ppl tho i still cannot remember their names. -tsks.
and i saw andrew there! lol. i was like staring at him during the prayers and singing thinking if it was him then when the thing ended he called out my name -.- and i was like "andrew right?" so spas! haha.
i've decided to go church every alternate week already! YAY (x

/i'll be running after You


Saturday, July 09, 2005

all incomplete.

look.
i'm like sorry that i actually blasted my temper towards the end of the ipw proj. i'm sorry too for being an irresponsible leader and like i've told you guys right from the start i couldn't make it. but look again, i've tried my best and like actually finished up the powerpoint despite me being very very very tired already and my bad health state too. sigh. whatever la. i don't give a damn damn to anything anymore. (:

so it's like. i dunno. no sense of happiness from passing my auditions. cos it's like. i dunno. i feel nothing towards cedar now. yeah. it's like. i kind of find it, really, hectic. what about you when u see your friends around you turning like that? i don't know. seriously it sucks.

and like so much probs. tho the exams are not stacking up yet, the homeworks are. and with my bloody piano exam and the orals coming up, plus i just know that im gonna take theory exam on 29october2005 when i haven't even started learning the syllabus? HELLO. don't take it into that im a superWOman or something yeah?

i'm hopeless about science. ACIDS AND ALKALIS. what crap. what neutralisation? or whatever thing? and AMC's up next. i really really want to do well. it's not like i taking being in MO a slack thing where you get to slack and skip math lessons but i really really do wanna do well. last year's tyco-ness isn't gonna really take me anywhere.

and yeah. 15october. i don't want trudy or kaiyin to leave. i don't want. what if we'll never be good friends in contacts again due to our really busy schedule? what about the three lil pigs? what about sop1? dying? ahhhhhhhh.

i've told myself to be happy. somehow i couldn't be. cos of many many stuffs. i'm lost in this big big world. materialism isn't going to take me very far. studies ain't everything, I KNOW. but somehow it really means everything. i was stupid once, sigh.

--

when to lifebookshop with julynn and xinrui! (: THERE'S THIS REALLY NICE KIND OF BIG THING WHICH YOU HANG ON YOUR ROOM THAT GOES "don't quit it" ! when i have the money i would probably buy it. -tsks.

i owe many people birthday presents. lol. lalalalala.

sometimes i don't know if i'm doing the right thing. but like yeah. the WHAT IFS. (:


Friday, July 08, 2005

world's screwed.

so is my life. i've got:

1. geog workbook 14 pages.
2. chinese ban yue ji.
3. ipw PROJ tmr.
4. try to finish my chinese presentation article and script so i won't have to do it later on.
5. do my theory hmwrk and brush up my piano skills.
6. revise science acids & alkalines + ask for help in everything i don't understand, which is everything.



THANKS GOD, for helping me pass my choir audition well! (:

oh yeah. started the day with PE. it's like so OH MY GOD.
timing was bad. for the three 300m, on average it was 80sec.
ALAMAK CAN >.<
AND MR TAY WUN BE IN MATH CLASS FOR A WEEK = MS WONG TEACHING US FOR A WEEK = I WILL FAIL MY MATH!
hello. i hadn't been understanding her lessons since LAST YEAR.
nevermind. yeah. choir rocked! YOU RAISE ME UP ^^

suddenly i feel so shi bai. my math is from good to average to bad to worse.
and my piano playing, totally sucked.
so did my chinese. LALALALA.

/youtrulybrightenupmyday.


Wednesday, July 06, 2005

im crazy, i know.

for somehow i duno what shit reasons i cried on the bus today.
when yunmin told me she thinks that ms chye is gonna leave us soon.
i dunno why. first thing came to my mind was, if she's gonna leave, why straight after we got gold of honours?
then i started crying. -.-

don't ask me for the reason. i just felt sad.
sad as in, why must all good things come to an end that kind of thing.
why must people leave each other. and i cried. then all the sad things came to me again.

SIGH.
anws, went to bollywood farm for learning journey today! the banana cake was damn nice! but damn ex.
BUT it's damn nice!! guo ran shi best banana cake in singapore!
then went to frog farm and watched how the poor live frog gets killed. ><
it's life just ended, LIKE THAT.

and out of xin ruan-ness i promised to like help yiling out in the keep-fit day committee.
yeah. hahaha.

WE SANG "YOU RAISE ME UP" TODAY!

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.


Tuesday, July 05, 2005

SARAH AND MY COMMON GOAL >
good or bad?
aye sarah can like read my thoughts! or should i say we share the same thoughts? hehe!
/what if. someone pls tell me what to do.



SIGHS ):

oh yeah. came home like early (hello it's 4:44pm now hehe.) to do my lit.
U KNOW WHAT. this morning i went school and found my geog txtbk and lit text wasn't there!
in the end, it's at home -.- hidden under some stackas of newspaper -.-

finally managed to fill in the surveys on the paper. I ACTUALLY WROTE THEM OUT.
anyways the conclusion i got is : without maids we are actually quite independant! ahaha(:
so like yeah, i almost dozed off during geog. so tired. and randomizing(IS THERE THIS WORD?) through alot of stuffs.
WE PRESENTED OUR CHINA TRIP DURING ENGLISH TODAY. yay(x
still have to do lit, and then research for geog, and perhaps go gym with brainy? AHAHA.
but i seriously feel like sleeping.

/the reason all of us search for;


Sunday, July 03, 2005

anyways, thanks alot jappy(:

p.s new lay!


Saturday, July 02, 2005

SIGH.
there's kind of homework over the long weekend.
and u know what?
I FORGOT TO BRING BACK THE BOOKS.
(:
managed to get geog txtbk from brainy. THANKS BRAINY! <3
guess i will only do my lit on tues.
since lit lesson is on wed.

YOU KNOW WHAT.
sigh.
i think i just get a MUVO FM can liao.
its like 5gb and $259?
while a neeon is 5 gb BUT $329.
yeah. guess the looks don't really matter.

kind of depress now.
sometimes reality really makes you believe that everything is destined in this world.
i don't know when i will learn to treasure our class.
and all my friends around me.
sometimes things just are so unexpected.
in less than 6 months all of us will part.
i still don't know whether i will leave.
(ok the sad sad s.h.e song im listening to now is making me feeling worse - he ping gong yuan)
i mean like.
do we really learn to treasure things only when it's gone?
and i do not want to live with regrets when 20 yrs later i look back and see all those things i should have done.
i mean like. now 2a is such a GREAT class!
compared to last year.
greenest and cleanest class award. and 2nd best class! and we cheer during jogging!
i mean like. i don't want to move on.
sometimes i really feel like staying stagnant and just WE being a class together.
but HEY. don't things change? no matter how reluctant we are?
i know it's kind of out of control.
and people would probably tell me like LOOK you still got to part in jc! in university! or even when you work.
but really. i like things the way it is now.
with so many good friends i know i can lean on when im in trouble and can share my joy of certain things.
im fortunate. i know.
but still. i don't know how to phrase it.
maybe some will say like " tian xia mei you bu san de yan xi " but i dun want to part.
i've been telling myself i must treasure everything now.
cos you may not know.
maybe i will die one second later.
i cannot stop myself from thinking so much.
i'm missing all the times i had with everyone else.
things change. friendships change. everything does.
but WHY?
i hate changes. they ruin my life.
it's perfect. why ruin it? at least to me it's perfect.
it's like. so screwing things up. and like wtf? i don't understand abit of all this at all.
i believe in fate. i do. but i also believing in changing the destiny.
(OK MY SHUFFLE ON WMP ISNT WORKING> WHY ALL SAD SONGS!)
but how can we?
i don't want a day to come. when all the friendships i treasure breaks.
i don't want.
alot of people told me before like friendships can still be maintained even tho we go different schools or classes.
but i think otherwise.
things will never be the same.
i know.
i've been through it once.
i don't want a second time.
i could not find happiness in my life now.
fuck it.


Friday, July 01, 2005

OHHH CEDAR HAD A NEW DESIGN FOR OUR PE TEES! (:
lalalala!
i guess it would be kind of nice to wear. yeah
-GRINS.

shld i go? or shld i stay? BLAH/