girl next door is it so hard to find someone who loves me for me?

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

before OAC07 starts,
haha!

our last and final camp, journey ends here.


YAYYYYE!
i invested in the plastic cover for my phone so next time i trade in the person won't say it's gone for a war again! : D

but it made my quite slim phone so thick now wth -.-

ANYWAY! STRAWBERRY STICKS ! <3
MAKES YOU FAT BUT I DON'T CARE LAHHHH!

omg the show on channel u is so nice now. HAHA


gusto,

youth ablaze! : D

it feels great to be back again after 3 weeks. hahaha!

our Lord. yes, hahaha, now i feel so ever clear again. it's like suddenly you realise everything.

eternal life, hahaha, you talk big when you talk about eternity, but, what we all do now, some's beneficial while other's not.

can i say im happy? : D

for once. haha.

i think everyone made great sense today.

can't exactly describe how i feel.

good friday! hah.


it really sucks big time.

i miss the times when i could still call you and cry.
& no longer, haha.

what's worse is when you don't even know why the hell you feel so, emo, for.

listening to the song me and charis sang throughout classES today.

yeah.

i wish someone would take me out to scream my lungs out.
im feeling super terrible now.

save me from my misery.

in the midst of all this, what do i get in the end?
nothing/

it hurts.

why i still hold on to so many things because i duno why also :\ haha.

who will break my fall?


who has jolin's/zhang shao han's new albums?
HAHAHAHA!

lend me : D

had biology for two periods today. THANK ME FOR ENTERTAINING YOU ALL MAN.
so i said to huiyi "aye be my first customer leh"
cos i bluff her i wanna be gynae. then she don't want.
so i asked quincy the same question again, and she say she rather find other ppl to help her dliver the baby.
AH

wait till i really become one! HAHA.
then i will pull the baby out or something and laugh at it.
-.-

NEVERMIND.
cos the point is i can never make it. please, medicine. HAHAHAHA!
the way ms tan says it is DAMN funny.
and samantha said she said the same thing too.
omg.
HAHAHA.

anddddddddd, im watching yu le bai fen bai now! : D
tmr gg sophia's hse! : D

bella' random to call me at this time haha!


its highly surprisingly im still sober now cos i just got completely tired in sch and dozed off.
yeah, so obvious, but cannot be helped.
if not i will just have fainted or sth.

haha.

cranky gone nuts.

ITS SO NICE TO SUAN CHARMAINE !

oh and what, jogging's gonna kill my leg tomorrow, again.

wowwww o.O

piece of . . cake.

so much unspoken.


haha.
okay.

CLEAR RUNWAY! : D

RUNWAY CLEAR!

clear and certain of what's coming up next.
nothing's gonna fumble.
it's another new start! : D

and sophialing is daoing my sms -.- -.- -.- -.-

ANYWAY. HAHAHA.
went char's , singyee's and my mum's house today ! LOL. which is my house.
food, food and more photo whoring! HAHAHA.
and gambling. SHEESH CHERYL CHEW WHY U EVERYDAY GET BLACK JACK AND WINNN -.-
HAHA! took 3 taxis today man, what day is it, chinese new year.
and we saw interesting happenings on the way to char's house :P HAHAHA. ((:
AND IM NOT A MONSTER -.-
haha! then went singyee's house, and she started playing what, irreplaceable. LOL.
then went to town with lk huiyi quincy, and bought nothing, except my mum's wholemeal bread which costs 5 bucks 20 cents from mian bao jiang hua.
ZZZZ.
i love house visitings! HAHAHA.
and what, all of us were wearing heels. scary eh.
wait till it gets stuck! AHAHAHA.
the tall gang and the short gang :\ ?!
I WANT FOOD. cos i have like 3 ulcers now on my left tongue woots! :D
and char, give up lah, you look YOUNG (no, kiddy) FOREVER ! HAHAHA.


sometimes, the more you try to forget about things, the worse it becomes.

would you lie with me and forget about the world?
the answer is no.
cos we all lead freaking busy lives x)
that you feel suffocated sometimes.

i seriously feel like sleeping. haha.














ouch.


SHOPPING CURES YOUR SADNESS WHEN YOU'RE NOT FEELING HAPPY.
IT MAKES YOU HIGH, EVEN DAYS AFTER.
AHAHA.
SINGYEE'S MUM THOUGHT THE BAG FROM RIVER ISLAND WAS 50+ AHAHAHA : D

when im rich when i grow up, i will go there to buy my clothes!
currently, only jamie the JIE MI can afford! LOL

MY BABY COUSIN IS SO CUTE! she's having her man yue jiu on the 7th of cny! ren ri : D
HAHAHAHA DMN CUTE LAH DAMNIT.
SOPHIA WHERE'S OUR BABY!


IM FEELING HIGH NOW.
HAHAHA.
cos i slept damn damn damn super early yesterday i bet its the earliest i slept in this year which is about 11.30. oh yeah pathetic! HAHA.

OH anyway ytd i met xuemin and my two lil piggies!!! : D
HAHAHAHA. <3
and i saw cherissa and FRIEND which i din recognise cherissa >< omg. my 4 yrs buddy! but she became so skinny lah -.- like skinny + more skinny = damn skinny. LOL LOL.
FRIEND HUH : D

LA LA LA. apparently. there's not much ppl on msn now. AND ANd AND. i haven pack my room (yeah its like fat hope lah)
HUIYI DO YOU WANNA COME AND HELP ME PACK FOR FREE? : D
HAHAHHA. sheesh!!!
actually, i think i will end up stoning later at my aunt's house.
it always ends up like that anyway.
HAHAHA. like what, you expect me to talk to my sec3 cousin whom i hardly see once in a year?
best still, i forgot what sch she's in.
LOL.
i bet it works vice versa.

ANYWAY.
i spent all my 250 bucks given to buy cny stuff :\ LOL. with 14 bucks remaining. die.
actually, i don't know what i bought also.
ZZZZZZZZ.
i so love tempting singyee! : D
AND I WANT A BAG.
but, there isn't any.
sounds contradictary.

maybe i should like go figure out differentiation now or something. HAHAHAHA.
channel 5's having this epl thingyy. PARK IS PRO. seeeeeeee : D the reason why korea is still like good.

WOOHOO.
i shld stop thinking about YOUUUUU and like go eat my lunch.
oh, what an irony, but i hate you alot. NOW. hahaha.

OH YEAH WE SAW MS WEE'S IC PHOTO YTDDDD!


MY VDAY POST GOT DELETED!
0.-

anyway.
it was good! : D
i love making presents : D
and i love receiving them too!
even if its just a hug!
cos i managed to hug charmaine ng! HAHAHA. (joking LAH!)

WOOHOO.

but i still have so many ungiven gifts! for people outside cedar >.<
must find time man!!!
if not when things stack up, it will be worse!
HAHAHA.

omg. i think the house visiting thing is serious :\
SO CUTE LAH ZOMG.
then we can tour from eastwest to northeast, no south?! HAHAHAHA.
abit siao, but i like!
:D
YAYYYY.

shopping today again! : D with singyee jamie quincyy the duck.
i bought my shoes and completed the purchase of cny clothes! HAHAHA.
next time, just go vivo enough alr.
you can never shop finish there, and you can never find nothing to buy there!
LOL.
but i cannot find a nice big!
and ADMIT IT LAH i din tempt you all, i merely gave good advices!!!! : D HOHO.
and we were like photowhoring in sch while waiting for ms wee!
JOANNE, who tried to juggle oranges, who failed many times, is being videoed by us!
YOUTUBE JOANNE AH.
lol!
so spas.
i still cannot accept the fact that i look so freaking short when standing beside jasmine and char TODAY cos of their like 9cm heels or sth.
>.<

im happy and tired!


"you must be hardworking everyday"

LOL. yeah, ms chng said it.


but it's just like u add one bomb to yourself everyday. then you need say 200 bombs to explode. so when it reaches 200 (the max), good luck to you. you're dead.

LOL.

i haven't finsihed the presents yet.

oh. i just realised SOME PEOPLE, no SOME PERSON is so effing ridiculous.
i mean, firstly, you accused me of something i didn't do.
secondly, you used the totally wrong word to describe the happening.
thirdly, you're just a bitch who finds trouble with everyone.
fourthly, you think you're right in everything but sorry you are wrong this time. i pity your family. they have to tolerate your nonsence.
won't be surprised if you're dumped.
aka chi bao fan mei shi zuo.

oh wow. be unreasonable then. DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?
OH WOW.
im so freaking scared of YOU man.
who cares if you decided to read my blog after discovering my name?
DID I MENTION ANYTHING HERE?
NO, nothing! i'm not stupid unlike you.
AWWWW.so sad.
for further details, come to me and i will GLADY tell you.
about some wonderful person who's the worst i've seen on earth.

and what, TA tmr first period? give it a break man.

i shall do all my work during chi new yr!


at least you'd get reminded of me, for that 30seconds. HAHA.

i promised myself to do a whole lot of things this weekend. i did none. how about that?
but i bought the vday presents : D most of the materials needed....
i must wear shoes to sch tmr wth -.- cos im not gg back to the doc. even tho the skin haven't completely peel.

which means i have to run.

yeah, run, over.

poof, over.

sometimes i ask myself why do i choose to bear with this hurt everytime.
yet the only answer i can find is.

i saw sarah teh today!! after tuition. hahaha. she looks so cute wearing her outside sch specs!

maybe cy's right. run too fast, hit the max, and boomba.

im kind of hating my life now. yet, thankful that i can do relatively well spending some 5/6 hours a day on msn.
thank God (:

yet, i miss the holidays. HAHAHA.
yeah, fun.

VDAY IS COMING!!!! : D HINT HINT HINT. ALOT OF HINTS.


i suddenly have a random thought.

anyone would buy me a big sized hwachong pe shirt for my birthday? HAHAHAHAHAAA.
then i will hang it on my door to motivate myself everyday.

damn, i need to go out. HAHAHA.


为什么不说心里话？

因为我不敢。
因为说了等于没说。
因为这也不会改变什么。

因为有一千个原因，
因为 …

i still have a dream, a dream to chase after (with sophia)
nothing, nothing will ruin it.
no matter what it takes

你还在乎吗？

只要我知道你还在这世上，还在某一个角落，还有细细的呼吸声
只要我知道这些
就够了。


thank God for everything!

feel your grace!


i know people are sick and tired of my nonsense.
just one more day.
tomorrow will be alright.
freaking, alright.

more about no face to go tuition.

HAHA.

even i get sick and tired of myself.

today me and singyee tried scotchtaping someone's biten -off nail found on her table for no reason.
HAHAHA.
and sealed it tightly.
with multiple thick layered scotchtapes.
:D
so my hair won't come in contact with it....
yucks.
see if it decomposes by end of sec4! :|

HAHAHA. sheesh. i came online to do some research... yes, first aid dept :D AHHHHHHH. but apparently.i don't have ANY mood to do ANY thing now. im gonna go home all by myself tomorrow.
if i dun appear by 9pm online tomorrow, you know what's wrong.
theoretically, only qixuan will know my results.
haha!

YAYYY. im so excited. wednesdays are gonna be our recesses man! : D
LALA. i sudden have an urge to bake.
then again, baking the batch of cookies for xmas left me a white scar on my elbow (prob cos my skin is like dark there)
PHOBIA EH

i saw ldr rochelle at the specialists' today! HAHA. so qiao lah.

awwww. anyway. i have a great idea for vday. then again, after burning my hand during chem lesson today, and it still hurts now, i don't think i may be able to do it.

damn it. HAHAHAHA.



when all you see is a patch of greyness in front of you.
i need to do amath, emath, ss homework todayyy ):
and i wanna do exercises on the chi webbie! but forgot to bring my chi books home. dumb.
perhaps i will write about vday for byj.
yet i jolly well know it will be a sleepless night.
anyone who's not sleeping tonight can sms me! HAHAHA. available thru out the night man.
cos no one no longer stands my nonscence, except you.


i shouldn't be anymore stupider than this.
HAHAHA. aimless waiting.

anyway, chinese lesson made me have a new understand towards the term 暧昧.
it could actually mean uncertainty about something.
so meaning rainy yang's songs haven't been what i thought it meant so far so good.


何时该前进 何时该放弃
只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
远方就要下雨的风景
到底该不该哭泣
想太多 是我还是你
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你
直到等待失去意义
写不出结局
停在这里

random phrases from the song. wl. suits me perfectly now.

i'm still not over with it.


i curbed one temptation yesterday.
an incorrect one.

HAHAHA.

sometimes when you see things clearer, it gets better.

1.30 thats it. perhaps some 40+ hours to go?

then my agony will end.

i haven't thought of what to do for vday. have currently 40+ on my list. HAH.
yay dinner with two darlings! : D

i seriously need to go out on saturday. if not i will stone at home thinking even more things.

we talked a hell lot today : D 7 of us! HAHAHA. and take emo picture somemore. wth. i din even know there's an audition. but nevermind...

i won't cry over it.
cos it's all over.
cos i don't wanna cry in front of others.
yeah ruiwen said it. haha. remind me man.

i think yirong is siao alr! HAHAHA. today she showed us some guides thing then like wth the scenario is S O LONG i read 3 lines wanna faint alr. then qixuan started thinking in SEC FOUR way to resolve the scenario.
and apparently failed? HAHAHAHAHA.
then yirong's friend laugh like even more high pitch than me! -.-

AHHHHHHHH. till cny comes! : D


and i ask myself WHY AM I THE UNLUCKY ONE.
so now, before, or after?

this is driving me crazy. im gonna consult lots of people and pray damn hard over it.
oh shit ruiwen you wouldn't want to cry 5 times in 7 days.
no, make it worse, if friday decides to screw itself up, i will end up crying all the way till chinese new year.
yay.

it's not that i'm weak or sth, or i just love crying, it's just, i have no other way of expressing my feelings anymore.

yet it totally sucks when your mother has been so helpful to tell you to look on the bright side and dun do foolish things, like, wt, even you assumed i did badly.

i think i need conferences on friday night man.

how about this, it's all me me me being paranoid.

i SO need a break.

i should just forget about this whole thing man.

what sucks most is, (put in the words yourself).....

lalalala.

ANYWAY. tomorrow's gonna be a screwed day as well, with choir. awwww.

on the better side, me and charis got new song to sing in class! HAHAHA.
then went to take some kuku photo during recess, right.
and went to visit matong! :D YAY finally she's in class man.
and made yusin so speechless woohoo (you cannot outtalk me one lah (: )


it took me 36 days (since start of the year) to wake up.

to this reality.

but anyway, this point is dedicated to ONE PERSONNN : D (you know who you are!)

i remembered we were pretty close in sec one. i don't know how we talk to each other and stuff. but yeah. and we tallked lots about crushes, stuffs, problems, alot. and sec two you brought me to your church, there i met this whole group of wonderful people. whom i got lost in touch for quite sometime thereafter. then always hitching your ride back home and going tuition and taking trains sometimes. but when things got worse, it almost blew off. im so freaking glad it din! i guess its God that brought us back together : D church camp, cell bondings, everything. and now, HAHAHAHA.

our common goal : D

yay we shall stay focus and just see nothing but that in our path! and we'll get there together (sounds like stefanie sun's song) and take the same stream and everything. probably choir too : D then we can go home and church tgt! HAHAHA.

no matter what, don't give up.
and hope will not give you up too!
things hadn't been going well for my side, but if i give up now, blow, it's over. yes ruiwen you know it.
sooooooooooo. JIAYOU!
motivated, proven, GO! (: LOVES AND HIGH FIVES!

COS I DUN WANT PPL TO BUY ME THE P.E SHIRT IF I CANNOT MAKE IT. HAHAHAHA. i forgot who said it during cell on sat. LOL.

im gonna plan everything properly. HAHAHA. woohoo. at least i tried my best.

i never felt so clear in my whole year before.

"I'm running after You"


You know that,
I love You,
You know that,
I want to know You so much more,
More than I have before

These words are,
From my heart,
These words are,
Not made up,
I will live for You,
I am devoted to You

its sad realising i will only be going church ONCE this month due to cny eve cos we must also spend time with our family and OAC -.- -.-
i cannot believe how much i procrastinate.

certain things you cannot take off your mind.

certain things you will care for long, even if it means not getting back anything in return.

BTW SHEENA'S BROWNIES ROCKED YESTERDAY. did i mention that?


i actually woke up at 1pm today. (:
HOW PRO IS PRO.
and i must finish some 10 questions before packing for tuition at 4.
disastrous.
i seem to be always late nowadays.
but, cannot be helped.

i got forced to switch to new blogger. -.-

and woohoo how about not coming online anymore?

M I.


i love it when you go church.
then see the cell.
haha (:
and missed abit of worship AGAIN -.- nevermind.
SAVIOUR OF MY SOUL!

how do you want ppl to honour you?

maybe it's this time when everyone wants good grades.
shall pray more for others! : D

and kara says she's gonna start group studying for our cell before youth ablaze? HAHA!

WOOHOO i shall do qt today yay !

你那么爱他
为什么不把他留下
为什么不说心里话
你深爱他


yes, so vday is coming, meaning eunice YIP's birthday is coming! (cos its the same day -,- )

but guess what, we all have CHOIR at VCH on that day, for syf try-out.

what the.

nevermind! meaning the sec four batch will spend time tgt <3

ITS SO NICE SUANING YUNMIN AND UMMMM den den :\ if she sees this im dead in my head. HAHAHAHA. and nicole's BA KUA !!!!

ba kua is her pig. toy.

and today's xiao nicole's birthday! happy 15 girl :D

and i bet qx and eileeen are shopping now >.< nevermind. there'll always be a next time. HAHAHAHA. eh no. eileen is still in sch doing ne board. HOHO.

you know what, QA totally sucks.
i still don;t know why copper chloride is green.
but it is -.- and like how the hell do i know copper carbonate is green too -.-
WHY DO I NOT HAVE UMMMM COLOUR BLINDNESS THEN I NO NEED TO DO SPAAA. HAHAHA. joking! i then don't want to have it, you can't drive.
and sk made it worse by saying it's the basics.
zzz.

NEVERMIND MUST JIAYOUUUU. HOHOHO.
and there's this madness during bio combined lessons in theatrette that me and charis and jamie resorted to "competing" who finished copying the notes from the slides the fastest.
then we kept laughing.
AND JAMIE IS LOUSY 0.- she writes fast and miss out a whole 2 sentences kind of thing.
HAHAHAHA. ((((:
slow is good! stone is better! so you can DIGEST the information.
then again, who freaking cares about FLOWERS!
HAHAHAHA.

AND JENNIFER'S LETTER IS STILL INSIDE MY COMPUTER.

the more i see advertisements (esp on saturdays, they have alot alot of them in the papers),
about vista home premium,
the more tempted i get.
HAHAHAHA.
we must NOT succumb to temptations :D

i resorted to reading about GLOBAL WARMING.
the headlines and sublines. HAHAHAHAHA.
shit, am i pro or am i pro.
key point to note: jiani is gg crazy at an alarming rate (:

ok no link. WTHHHHHH! im gg back to study bio, then math, then chem. and hopefully i can go church! (: