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Monday, April 30, 2007

i think my scanner hates me,
HAHAHA.

anyway let's see. today's paper 1 was zomg, so not easy as ms wee claims -.-
my prediction thousand years ago that it will be yan jiang gao and si han came true tho.
the key is, i didn't really exactly study the format of si han. forgot who's address to write, thus concluded that you will write the person's add on the envelope thus the add on the letter is the writer's :D
clever me.

but paper two was more like, ummm, i dunno.
HAHAHAHA.
damn, i at least need an a2 ):

still HAPPILY scanning notes for chris after forgetting to help them photocopy. lol.
collin's right man, after his o's which he will prob get a1 FOR SURE like 100% +chopchopchop then we'll have one less pig.
>.<
chi tuition is always laughable.

grah, came home to sleep. failed attempt AGAIN.

anyway, i think im quite dead for chem and everything else on the world. i need a super genetically modified food to umm boost my memory space, won't mind spending 100 bucks on a 100-gig PILL.

im talking no-sense.

anyway, something that made me reflected quite alot today.
while most of us dwell in our "unhappiness" like never-ever-sastified results and all our weaknesses and blah blah,
have we ever realised that there are more unfortunate people out there?
was queueing up at yoshinoya today and the person in front of me was taking so long i was like abit irritated cos dad's waiting in his car.
then when it's my turn i realised why.
the person serving at the counter was like quite slow in the sense he takes quite long to pack the food, like when the next cashier served 2 customers he's still serving the first one.
i supposed (not sure) he has a prob with his eyesight cos he took quite long to scrutinize the coins and to divide them into the respective portions in the cashholder.
yet although he's damn slow and ppl behind me was actually getting irritated when im not even irritated he still like wears a smile and takes pride in his job.
i was thinking why the owner of the branch will hire him, i mean yup it's a counter job.
then i decided that the owner must be a person of good character.
i mean society always denies chances to people who doesn't have much productivity.
most of the society anyway.
and i m like damn amazed by how that person could actually persevere (can't think of any better word) and give the customers their change admist the slow "digestion" of amount of money he's gotten.

damn, if i were him i will like, wait for welfare organisations to feed me. hah.

then again, welfare organisations always wait for something to happen before they can take actions.
thus, tragedies of life.

i finally finished scanning -.- 23minutes busted.


by theory i shouldn't be here.
AHAHAHA, coming online is too tempting.

HAVING EXAMS ROCKS BECAUSE I CAN GET ANYTHING I WANT
right.
like i made my mum bought the huge tub of italian yoghurt,
:D
and im gonna eat it now
who cares if im kinda getting sick.
MY BODY IS STRONG.

i dreamt about gg church ytd!
HAHAHA.
too long never go already.
yeah starting to miss the cell!
yehayeah, two more weeks :D


hah, one paper down.
it seems to me like everyone's panicky over mid years and stuff but i'm not.
anyway english was totally,
bad.
i had this head spinning thing which is worse than a headache and was actually comtemplating to get excused from the paper.
but not taking it = running away in some form or reality right?
so i took it, and died.
couldn't think at all.
wrong decision of attempting ques no.3 and even wrong-er decision of swopping it after writing for half an hour.
DAMN, i hate making choices, even if it's a small one.

which means to say, I MUST MUG DAMN HARD AND PAY DAMN ALOT OF ATTENTION ON SUN CHI LESSON.
= i must get a distinction for hmt,
if not my l1r5 will be horrible.
IM BEING PARANOID AGAIN.
damn the exam stress, im still having headaches NOW.
even after sleeping for 1.5 hours and not bringing keys resulting in me being locked out of the house.

hopefully my oral will be perfect enough to pull the score up >.<

and hah, quincy walks awfully slow -.- thank you jiani for accompanying me to have lunch today! :D
something about fei2 is used to describe pigs, but pang is used to describe humans. so liukun is fei2 :D

of course i hope that for the remaining 3 sci + 2 math + 1 humans i will get all a1s.
but of course it's impossible.

我现在应该开始多接触华语。


and tomorrow's the start (so why am i here zzzz)

i love chocs but they don't love me, my throat hurts terribly now!

and HAHAHA charmaine, all your tears are WORTH IT MAN. gold with honours (:


the perfect utopia,

if i end up in hc and hcchoir,
if serene goes hc too,
cheryl's in hc,
sop,
reunion!!!!!
zomg.

think too far.
shall disappear into thin air, resist ALL temptations.

:D

(unlike quincy )

its late now.

and i'm slacking away~
HAH.

can't wait for kbox after exams are over. :D


i've put up the old links (HAHAHA so i bet half of them don't work since it's old) and have the tagboard back, :D

anyway, it seems like im not SO stressed up for mid years since i'm not gonna do so well due to lack of preparation.
as melissa puts it, it suddenly feels empty.
and i eat CHOCOLATES to make it not feel empty, thus resulting in a hurting throat.
(self inflicted throat, dumb me -.-)

and probably the desire for excellence is no longer there, not sure if i will go dsa tho since my singing is not SUPERB in that manner and yeah.
so maybe my mid years result don't matter afterall.
was stuck in a dilema because i don't really intend to put my focus on both maths and meaning i will barely scrap pass an a1 (hopefully) for both of them.
which => mrs chia is gonna kill me , again.
GRRRRR.
i rather have l1r5 6 or sth (highly impossible alr) with average 78 than have l1r5 10 with average 80.
LOL.

must jiayou already!
NO MORE EXCUSES FOR MYSELF TO COME ONLINE.

and yes, nyc gold with honours! :D:D
YAYYYYYYE.


GOLD.

we came so long, so long since miss chye left, and we, cedar choir, did it, and certainly did not let ourselves down.

many must be surprised like why we din get gwh and stuff, cause it's cedar choir. but to me its really enough, its really like what chye said, "god sent".

maybe our performance yesterday wasn't our peak, maybe it wasn't our best, but we've put up a good show and carried on singing despite it's off pitch and utterly awful, we gave our smiles (hah, i believed MOST did, can't guarantee ALL), and stood on stage for a whoooping i-dunno-how-many-minutes, held our heads high and went down the stage.

since we had no watches, time seemed eternity from the moment we boarded the bus to head for vch till we stood outside and stuff. when i-dunno-which-choir-is-that was standing outside there, i suddenly felt damn proud that im from cedar choir, it's just the blood that runs in me.

how many years of tradition of excellence o.O

talking about giving up, so many tears were shed, but we just couldn't give up on the choir. it may be expectations, or it may just really be responsibility, the shoutings the screamings, everything, said everything we could about giving your best and yadadada pet talks, even talked about chats on msn that made juniors ask me "you everyday go msn izzit! so free!"

against ALL odds,

congrats to all the gwh choirs ytd! st nicks and rg.
saw thousand million choral fest people!! okay not alot but namely jiamin (carrot who din give me carrot,haha!) and stacey and geof and serene (see i told you st nicks can make it :D ) and jiajun (who failed to recognise me, like did i change THAT MUCH? its only 6 months)!

i puked water while drinking water in the holding room, yeah the last 10min or so of practises, also the room which held SO MUCH choralfest memories, still remembered the time we keep taking festchoir1 soprano section photos. haha!! :D it was so much love.

came this far, suddenly there's an emptiness inside me, like cos there's no choir today. all the zi bao zi qi and emo days are gone.

we cried when they started announcing the first 4 choirs. (already -.-) but then.. "choir 110, cedar girls' secondary school, GOLD"
i memorised that line.
and no! haha to people who saw us, we're crying cos we're damn happy, i know like most of them(my choral fest friends) in other choirs are aiming for gwh but hah!
but it suddenly struck to me after a while that,
if we get gold we're 80%<, gwh is 85%, so if we put all the best times we sang tgt we'd probably have a chance >.<
but it's alright,
to sectwos, there's two years! win back the honour for cedar choir when chye comes back : D

and jiamin said toh said we had nice sound, HAH.

it was so fast that everything's over, and mid years starts on friday.
i told myself that i must study, but i'm still here.
everything seemed like a dream man.

I LOVE CHIA YUN MIN MANY MANY! and to the many others who have been standing my nonsence and ever so encouraging and always believing that cedar choir could do it even when i think we couldn't, thanks so much! ((:

the day before syf i couldn't sleep at all, smses came in as early as 6am+++ telling me to take care of my throat (?! , hah like i din know that) all the way until the next morning! then it seems to me like our syf was a happening thing cos everyone was so concerned, and thanks to 4m for wishing me good luck when i left the class!

MY MIRACLE HAPPENED.

i hope nyc did well today! nobody's replying me lah zzz. lol. :D

i so look forward to the next prac when we will embark on something new, the concert in june which clashes with sng's wedding. -.-

ice kachang and barley water!!

SO MUCH LOVE <3



do you believe in something called hope?

i do.





will cedar choir make it on 24th April 2007?
we'll see.

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAPHETHHHHH! <3
3 years of belated presents, HAHA.

oh damn, cheryl! 2 months 8 days to mine! HAHAHAHA.






fill in the blanks yourself.

i don't know how to reply to yunmin's message.


when will be the next time we go pp to eat chicken rice and order barley, right, barley.

how ironic.

cos that's life.
i will probably laugh on tuesday,
point one of unusual behaviour...

5pm. woots.

don't be such a crybaby.

i'm thankful i've got friends who scold me for cheering on sportsday and ask me to shutup,
i'm thankful i've got friends who qian jiu me to not eat fried food,
i'm thankful i've got mum who knows i'm super stressed and offered to iron my gown for me.

i'm thankful i've got God by my side all this while,
i'm thankful that we have one last shot, tomorrow.

we will. we will.

even if it's just self denial.

i won't be pessismistic.okay smile ruiwen.


GRAH, i will revert back to my oldself... SOON!

back to studying.



i sometimes wonder if i really will go hc. haha, to see carrot? LOL,

i certainly miss choral fest days.

those are the days where u can sing without any worries AT ALL.
those are the days where true music beholds.





i still don't know what got into me.

3 more days,

JIAYOU CEDAR CHOIR, we can do it! as long as we believe and make the best out of everything,

if you've put in your best, nobody will blame you.

i'd shed a million tears to bring a gwh, apparently that can't work.

right.

why are SOME PEOPLE so irresponsible? so hypocritical and dun give a damn,

right. nothing to say alr. let it be it.

what is ours will always be ours,
that honours.
jiayou to yunmin wp eli denyseeeee nicole and ok prac most of the sec fours, MOST , not all.

i love yunmin that much : D : D

i must study study.

hahaha. shall not come online until mid yrs end. YAY.
my hands are still numb like wth.

ok wth, dunman high got a silveR? nyeh, here goes my day again.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

i'm obsessed, damn it, i am, how do you weigh your life and balance it?


on a lighter note, thats why i chose to blog it in separate post,

ROSE HOUSE ROCKS : D

explode! ignite! rose house, is dynamite! : D

first for cheer! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. hehehe.
but it was truly a splendid performance!

i actually helped to tie their hair today. HAHAHAHA. while sara helped to tie mine,quincy's,sw's,singyee's,jamie's,charis's hair? : D

PRO CAN.

shall upload photos another day! yay.
our last sports day.

i wore pink bra pink watch pink earrings pink shoelaces and brought pink nano! and had pink hairties. HAH.

din bring my pink bag tho.

LOL.

went arcade after that.
I HATE THE DRUMS MACHINE NYEH NYEH NYEH.
and we were so spas in crystal jade lah. camwhoring.
the lightbulb, ME!





when driven to the extremes,
what would YOU do?

i've been thinking about what you've said last night/this morning.

whole point being why do i care so much but maybe it does makes sense afterall cos we're are blinded by i duno what that we cannot visualise properly.

i bet you must have been so frustrated by me that you've stopped replying. haha.

didn't get to see jiamin at the concert cos the kukuhead was videoing the rj choir. HAHAHA.
and she wanted to give me a carrot (?!) while i wanted to give her a stone (?!)

but saw xuemin like zomg i totally jumped and scream and novabelle!

and realised jiajun joined css and i totally screamed again and the security guard was like staring at me wanting to catch me or something.
HAHA!

but she's good. anyway, we were saying they're biased cos they keep saying MING XIAO MING XIAO (infer) and blah blah blah.
and HAHA back to why nobody in cedar got in css, how can say that it's cos choir girls are di diao! HAHAHA.

jiamin's blog hanged my comp for some 20 min and i read something which i laughed and read something which kinda spoilt my day.
no not her, but AHHHHHH,
are we just not fit to talk about gwh or are we just.................................

and my mum isn't making things better by shouting at me and nagging at me EVERYDAY.

like wtf wtf wtf wtf is the only thing i can say now..

okay, its not as if i dun tell anyone how im feeling and blahblahblahblah shit.
the POINT is who exactly understands?












shit , i m beginning to think we're selfish freaks by not gg choir on monday because we wanna mug (?!)
monday would actually have been productive and blahblahblahblah shit.

MY MIND IS SO HAYWIRED NOTHING I READ ABOUT CHEM GOES INTO MY MIND.
damnit.

okay ah im gonna think more now.

but i can't think.
and i duno what im talking about/ crap.


meeting them in around 4.5 hours time : D

and meanwhile i MUST complete my english essay which i think i will fail it because of the long-time-never-do-narrative part and probably cos i don't know what i'm writing.

i'm just writing stuffs that come to my mind, and yeah pen it down.

WHICH IS TOTAL SELF SUICIDAL

but nevermind.
i think i did a foreshadowing at 11am : D when i just woke up. HAHAAHHAA.
shall show to px on monday !
YAY.

yesterday, though damaged my voice.
was fun, SOME parts of it.

i doubt we will ever have a chance like that anymore.
oal board gave me alot of things, things i began to apply in life.
and of cos, taught me how to communicate better in the case of how-to-make-the-juniors-think-and-reflect-when-we're-talking-about-syf-in-the-midst-of-telling-them-jokes.
hahaha, perhaps wp would have realised it.

AS USUAL, 3 of us walked out, EAT, and CABBED back sch in approx of 30min.
and i saw ben thia -.-
came back and saw on mustard source's blog about prayer requests.
hey i 've suddenly got an urge to type out everything im praying for like leo and ben did.
but i chose not to.
not that i wanna be a superwoman,
but,
let's just wait and see.

perhaps i will be able to RUN through these myself.
with the help of some friends and God of course.

i said NOTHING during mtp.
was more than reflecting over her first sentence than anything else,

BUT CHARIS'S MUM WAS DAMN CUTE OKAYYYY!
HAHAHA, she rocks for using HWACHONG as an example in place of RAFFLES which everyone uses.
NYEH NYEH.
then we were like HAHAHA maybe she from hc also!
LOL.

i felt as if my presence was redundant. to a certain extent.
cos everything that was mentioned was everything that i've been worrying for all these while,
maybe it reflects on a certain degree to HOW MUCH i think a day because i would have bet that half of the cohort felt those words prickling into their hearts about o's and yadadadah stuff.
yet it came as an immunity to me.
felt NOTHING.

i just need to walk the road i carved out of myself.


yet in less than 10 days.

we'd know.

i know there's no use ranting that im worried or what , look, there ain't even opportunities to talk to everyone know.

expectations again?

im scared. i feel that jess is still sad over band, and ml too, tho tl got a gold its still a grade's diff from their previous gwh. choir's on the same day as gz and dance marks the end to the syf of performing arts.
what if nobody ain't gets an honour.

like i've told you guys, its not about the results, it's about whether you guys have put in your best that even if we get bronze you could have turned back and said with a smile that i've tried my best.
no one can say that.
thus, we have to strive harder, so that efforts would be paid off, if not we'd still be happy.

i really wanna make the best out of this.

yet each and everyone of us often do not know where our best is, right?


13th April 2007,

Friday.



kind of marked the end of everything.


i'm damn scared now.

FOCUS.

yeah i so need this word right now omgosh i just realised that for emath o's is upon 180?!
WTH MAN.

i will seriously fall asleep doing the paper.

HAHAHA.


i wanna be your guardian angel, always

mr tay lost his voice!! and tmr is meet the parents. HAHA!

and during lesson we're like looking at the stack of papers he's got. to see if its our testpapers.
WHO KNOWS RIGHT, the tchrs mark papers SO fast lah!
grah.

and i spent a great deal of time suaning mengqiao while waiting to go for math olympaid.
and yanyan also suaned her like duno what.
mengqiao and her guyS.
[;

HAHA! maybe in the end the campfire 'd have belonged to us afterall.
I WILL MAKE SURE MY HAIR IS NICE, and take a thousand million nice pics : D
it's kind of, the end.

yet every ending marks every new beginning. take pride.

IM STILL DAMN SCARED FOR SYF MAN.
i want no historymaking, i want a repeat of 2005.
i want a gold.

i want an honours too.

i seriously hope god watches over us, esp during salve regina. ((:

so... it's the end of the week again. right, eileen and yunmin just REFUSES to go play arcade on sat >.< i bet wanping and eli won't want to too. WHAT THE HELL MAN.
nevermind one of these days ask bella and char out again!!
then we can malu ourselves shotting airball in the bball machine @ j8. : D

ok i mean char malu HERself.

what's so bad about playing arcade i still wanna play racing : D
i'm quite glad after ytd, yet it made my whole day in daze cos as usual, thinking.

came across this, what will you do if you only had a few more months to live?
(okay actually my first thought is to find a cure, but since the question is phrased like that then lets not spoil the fun, hah)

1. go out and binge on all the food i like in the world because i won't be able to do so once i die
2. write a thousand word essay for around 30 friends whom i treasure most (not with my bloody lah haha)
3. tell my parents i love them and move out cos i dun want them to see me dying
4. learn how to cook alot of food
5. i will make sure by hook or by crook i see the gold
6. i will treat bella and yuyuan to buffet!!
7. take o's HAHHAA :\
8. celebrate my birthday in the presence of alot alot alot alot of ppl (kinda impossible?)
9. go out with ppl not in cedar
10. e.g. my 2 pigs and bbw
11. japheth eng
12. my son
13. jialing
14. tuition friends
15. organise a class outing and make sure everyone go cos i will treat everyone cos no point keeping the money when i die right?
16. visit mrs val wilson
17. have a fest choir1 sop outing!
18. find all the poohbear family softtoys and give it to 6 of them!
19. make eileen my perfect boyfriend for a day : D
20. make sure that i leave silently. haha
21. write huiyi a 3000 word letter cos i know her for 10yrs, don't be jealous, haha!
22. go kbox with charis toh for 48 hours nonstop
23. learn how to play mahjong from quincy duck!
24. make sure that jamie goes hc
25. tell someone something
26. learn how to walk in heels
27. learn canoeing
28. go to old folks home and be a volunteer
29. visit venice
30. england and sit ferris wheel
31. usa
32. in business class :\
33. and make sure i keep flying : D
34. i kinda forget but this is something damn impt i still cannot rmb
35. go to beach and suntan!
36. ok i rmbed 34 its to catch phantom of the opera LIVE
37. have another oac that belongs to oals06-07
38. donate my organs when i die
39. do a photo collage for many ppl!
40. influence singyee with all my might never to go japan
41. sing one last time
42. see jessica arnanta off when she flies for us
43. I DUNNO ALR.

hahaha there's no order man.




my worst fearS.

even if there's expectations, there's NO need to bring the matter up THREE times.
can't you see i'm already sad enough?
or are you just blind.
i vow there will not be a second time.

too much to take.

i think im like straining my vocals too much.
esp when we're never in tune for salve, and always go to like high A or even higher?
so i went to buy cheng teng and there's this woman in front who bought like 7 bowls of dessert. COOL MAN.
their family must have been SUPER big.

i still think that grad night sounds more pro than prom night, WAY MORE class!

huiyi is pathetic at triple jump.
esp when they are made up of STEPS.
eva even has to 1234567 huiyi, and she still dunno!!!
KELLY IS PRO DE LOR.
the only non-tracker who TOUCHED the sand [:
the only one who tried to poke me tgt with liukun during lunch -.-


i thought writing novels will be cool.
but i have this damn big and cliche idea!

which is BADD.

i love foreshadowing man!!!
its like DAMN cool , blame the stupid people for not bring able to FORESEEE them.

im actually not tired now even tho i slept at 12+ ytd doing bio.

WHICH IS GOOOOOOD!!

YAY!
& i realise your bday is coming near.


i hate my dad alot really.

yeah charmaine's right about not staying at home man.

I WONDER WHY THE HELL DO I GO HOME EVERYDAY.

im so totally sorry esp when you are supposed to LOVE ur parents and stuff. but sometimes i really just can't do it.
people somehow always remember the bad things.
aw, so sad.
i swear i will move out once im 19.

SURELY WILL, and make sure i stay in hostel for a good 3 years. better still if i take medicine cos it will mean 5 years.

GRAH. sometimes i think life is quite fair.
nobody has perfect anythings.
but too bad I LIKE TO WHINE.

and all the walk around the sch only made me remember one thing, SING.

perhaps we've been to every part of the school?

no perhaps its just ME me AND ME.

anyway congrats to us for just receiving many bio wrkshts, highlight being 93 questions on genetics, and 2002-2006 (thats 5 years) of bio PAPERS.

i can't wait for rj concert ;D
EILEEN I WANNA GO ARCADE LUH ): AND EATTTT.

and when i go home i will probably be bombarded on rj again, many reasons of why i hate my dad SO MUCH.
its like 415 and im gonna STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY! woots.













平常心
cos i believe all of us will get the wherever we wanna go (and yes im gonna persuade JAMIE TAY to go hc man : D)
hehe!
6 months to o's (i just realised seeing the whiteboard today)

long and short.

LONG SHORT LONG SHORT.

firstup, 5 more pracs left.
CAN WE DO IT?
YES WE CAN <3.



i wanna live a legacy.









shouldn't bring this up again, but sometimes when i'm free i'd start to wonder what will it be like when you leave this place,

未知数


i dunno what i wanna post.

but, hahaha, what goes around comes around.

AND I THINK MY TASTE FOR MUSIC IS BECOMING JAMIE-LIKE.

hahaha. >.<

anyway i just cannot remember kaiyin's blog url for some i duno what reason but nevermind.

I NEED TO GET IN THE MUGGING MOOD.

it doesn't matter if there's no time cos apparently its only 3 weeks left and whatsoever but im gonna believe that i can do it, and believe in cedar choir 2007 : D
i can't believe you actually have so little faith tho, aw.
denyse was so random to call me ytd and ask about amath test! haha.

and im so random to have posted this post. ah well.

i think i shldn't come online so much alr. HAHAHA.

I WANT MANY MANY THINGS, ONE BY ONE I WILL GET THEM. HAHAHAHA.





this time i clearly know who's to stay.

(:(:(:(:(:
HAHAHA char and jas came ytd! okay, the first thing i saw was their big plastic bags of coldstorage with FOOOOD : D
then talked and suaned and crapped and made anabella confused. HAH.
we did work okayy!
AND I LIKE JAS'S TORtOISE that can tuo diao.
and char's new skirt is damn short and tight like dunno what, and today i went to alter mine and its like damn long and duno what. grah.

nevermind, long skirts are cool : D

then ate and ate and ate, the funny thing is while throwing eraser around, it got into jas's peach juice -.- YAH I GOT GOOD AIMING MAN.
now my poor eraser smells of, i duno what.

and char keeps falling asleep. HAHAHA, my mind map looks like some duno what thing man.
and she calls my pillow the green thing, esp when im green too, so she is.
then when char sleep, and jas sleep, then i decided to off the lights
then jas suddenly talk to me again -.-
then i oned it
and threw a bolster at char
and she woke up
and god knows when everyone's sleeping i decided to just keep my eyelids open to draw the last part of the mindmap

best thing is , bella sneaked into my hse at 6am++++
HAHAH, after waiting outside for duno how lnog with my neighbour thinking she's mad?
cos we all din know our phones had so many miss calls and smses
and jas's phone kept ringing but no one bothered to care

HAHA, and first thing she come she eat -.- -.-
and we thought she finished the biscuits lah. hahaha.
and both of them forget to bring their phones man, and came back to take cos when i was gg back to my nice nice sleep i found the phones one by one.

with so much undone, i barely have the time to see a doctor please.

i only want to simplify my life, and make the best out of syf 07 and mid yrs,
and not think of anything.

poof and disappear!

ahaha, i came online to find mySON but mySON not online ): HAHAHA.


ice kachang,

barley water : D

nearer & nearer.


hidden fear.

& drawing closer.

haha i seriously think i lost my ability to stay up late, and gain my ability to get frustrated over every little thing.

i want to do well in smo this year man.
no more playing around and writing ONE and ZEROS as my answers when i don't even bother to read the questions.
cos without math im nothing.
came across this in tmp ytd while me and sam were looking around randomly because he was totally blocking the whiteboard,

seize the day.

linger at every opportunity

i seriously need to go for open houses lah (which will be like umm ten thousand years later, right)

NYEHNYEHNYEHNYEHNYEH.

shoo

talking to xuemin now.

HAHAHA.

AND EILEEN CHOW IS AWAYYYYYYYYYY ):

i hate the peristaltic movements in your body.
sucks like shit.
at least its assured that i kind of won't experience it during mid years, HAHAHA.

going to eat buffet later! family gathering. my beloved cousin who just entered hc council (like whatever, with the motive of wanting to bully me if i really go there, right) is like IN CAMP.

meaning i will be introvert and bury myself in books ):





maybe what's lost isn't lost

I FEEL LIKE DYING NOW (NOW REALLY DIE LAH)
everything's in a swirl.







&&& i seriously think im capable of getting 20 points for l1r5 with my two math getting 6.
not joking.

GRAH.

jiani's bday is coming : D



(:(:(:

i hate disappointments.
so she came up to me, asked me if i actually studied for the test,
because i did so badly and shocked her terribly.
wow.

why do i actually land in this state.

i dunnno.
spent so much money today cos i was feeling so bloody upset and sad and whatever.

nevermind.

now im flat broke AGAIN.

and hungry because after buying so much rubbish things i have no money for lunch.

samantha won a graphic calculator ytd @ vj math trail okay! >.< LOL.
charis is on a date with px now, quincy just went to sleep. GRAHHH.

OKAY I SOUND SO WHINEY.

jas and char is coming to stayover tomorrow! hahaha. and im so nice to let char have my bed can tsks!!

OKAY ANYWAY I DUN REALLY CARE ANYMORE NOW.
just continue lying to myself.
we'll know, on 24th april 2007

i want to know it too.

will we hit the floor?

sometimes i feel like i can read nicole's mind. cos i think of similar things all the time.
then again, who really knows each other in this world?
EVERYONE has a fake side, i swear.

its just that you choose to stupidly believe that everything's real.
self-denial,
no ,
dreaming lah.

devoid.

even things that are like 99% possible,
just has the 1% to be impossible.

WHAT TALKING ME (too much statistics taught to us during GE today, hah)

probability.


the road always goes on, just keep adding fuel.

right? (:

maybe it's just what i needed to spur me on.
it so freaking works that im so freaking depressed now.
okay not very depressed,

DISAPPOINTED.

but nevermind,

if cute = ugly + adorable
disappointed = happy + sad

which is = neutralisation

which is = go practise differentiation.



(:(:(:(:(:(:(:

& the reason

how to get out of this shit.

to wake up to truths that i have been denying kinda sucks.

AH WELL

it's even more tiring trying to assure yourself everything's gonna be alright,

even even more tiring trying to put on a facade to motivate your juniors when you yourself ain't even motivated.

im so THANKFUL that tomorrow's the last school day of the week.

you'll never know that i'm not happy.
for you didn't even realise that our paths no longer cross.



i can't believe i just tripled post.

ANYWAY,
doing bio isn't a happy thing,
it makes you feel all depressed and feel stupid.
to think me and seowyee had hope in it.

perhaps at the end of the day, hope isn't worth a cent.

aww.

i think i'm screwing my life up day by day.

what you think is perfect has actually lots of flaws.
afraid of truth.


WOOHOO I ACHIEVED THE FIRST AIM OF MY DAY!
miraculously, im not sleeping/tired at all!

shall help quincy photocopy the 03 paper in 1 hr 50 mins time. HAHAHA.
IM SO NICE! sacrificing my dinner/bathe time okay.
AH, no i should go down first then bathe if not SMELLLLLY.
sheesh >.<

boing boing!

i wanna PEEL banana now, and chop them upside down and squash them and ummm i duno.
make it into banana milkshake (which is kind of very not-nice-to-drink)
i need to call someone now.
HAHAHAA.
huiyi's still in dance ):
i think im freaking everyone out with my thoughts about the future.

HORRENDOUS.

haha, i gave my first hug<3 of the day to ELYSSA .
(while she's doing perfect duty)

IM SO BORED IM GONNA PUNCH.

countdown: 6 months to o's.
only?
no, coming!
HAHAHA, omg it rhymes, (false rhyme) that is.

NYEHNYEHNYEH, told you (whoever you arE) i got hope in literature.HAHAHAHA.


(: (: (: (: (:

meticulous.

somethings you can never turn back and say
"i should have (blahblahblahblahblah) "
neither can you change facts.
as the word suggests.

at least, better than open wounds uh?

AHHHHHHH.
here it goes, i shan't be too greedy, so i shall .. haha.
nevermind, be more mugger, i can't believe im gonna study and study and study till i go crazy but studying is good for health.
afterall, the whole world knows i wanna go hc, if dun get in damn malu one lah!

okay so ms chng is actually funny lah -.- which reminds me, damn, so much homework to do.

AH, sian.

forward.
inspiration on sat! :)
SOPHIA'S GONNA WEAR A DRESS (i think)
HAHA, SOMEONE'S EYES WILL JUST POP OUT LAH. LOL LOL LOL.

it occurred to me that i don't mind flying for 2 years.
in the air lah unless i fly to save chewy from falling :)
jamie said her cousins got scholarships from SIA.
ah, why am i thinking so far, LOL,
at least it will be quite nice (provided no accidents, but singapore airlines leh! )

HAHAHA, so, grow taller : D



(: (: (: (: (: i shall always start my entries with smilies for charmaine ng the nerd, hopefully she smiles upon seeing this. HAHAHA !

YAY, phy ct was not too bad, just that wahlao you even have to deal with quadratic equations in physics lah like WHAT THE HELL.
but luckily it wasn't some killer test like the first one.
if genetics was the ONLY topic for jc bio, i will GLADLY take bio in jc. HAHA (:

eunice just called . LOL. so surprising. she lost her file lah >.< suay man.

anyway, i totally think my inference rocks.
i infered SO many things today lah.
this is called hua zhong you hua again.
this time, i had a bad inference.
i infered that we were backstabbed.

by people who don't even deserve what they have.

oh well.

life is unfair what.

yeahyeah. im starting to like my guys' wallet more and more! : D

NYEHNYEHNYEHNYEHNYEH.
i love food.

& happy sixteenth birthday collin tang (:



no point leaving it hanging there,
ah,
hopefully one day we'll start talking again.
<3


we're all only at the ending of the starting line;

the old her never doubts herself at all,
because someone is always behind her pulling her along the way.
one day, when the someone is gone,
she'll get used to it.