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Thursday, May 31, 2007

there's practically nothing that happened so far because clever me woke up at around 5.40PM?!
yes, slept for a whooping 17 hours, bet nobody can beat that.

was online until some 1am and i kinda got enlightened by stuffs :\ yes, im so good at suanning :D thus i've came to a decision about tomorrow, whether i will regret it, let's see.
too tired to think about any consequences, JAE.

goodluck to xuemin and trudy for nj's performance and carrot and mel too! :D

my norton is kinda failing me! can't scan that tracking cookie let alone remove it :\ ouch.

i need shopping ):


edited @ 1109PM

it's another ruiwen-is-thinking-too-much-day.
i almost got knocked down by two cars one after another while crossing the road, like damn it. stupid cars which are driven at such high speeds KILLS.
having MUMMYINGREEN around definitely shortens my emo-ing on bus156 as usual! :D thanks<3 and her laptop is SO HEAVY, weights training.

my whole day was filled with jamie's smses(:, singyee's accompaniment(:, and the unlimited amount of bread @ cafe cartel with iced water!
THANKS ALOT!
our cosy corner! haha!
with eileen's sudden appearance which scared the hell out of me (i was still thrilled in the heart after like 1 hour), i decided to scare her back and TADA i saw this green shirt person and TADA i saw eileen and YES, revenge babehh <3

and guess what, my piano teacher wants me to get out of syllabus and prepare for annual competitions for more exposure.
you can ask me to sing on stage, no prob, play piano?!
so i had to memorise my scores and all and i went like "huh i cannot memorise lah so difficult" and she went "your choir scores even more difficult" so i went like "aiyah everyday sing mah!" and oops :\ she concluded that i didn't practise for more than 1 hour anyway, hehe.
which is true, not even 30 min to speak of. .

i sometimes wonder if i was right to give certain things up, like what would've been of me now?
useless to think, but rather useful to generate my pathetic thoughts.
i've always thought that everyone was meant to be achieving greater things given opportunities.
but perhaps that's not always the case. simpler life, out?
even bread can be tasty, physically speaking.
where has all the bringing the best in you gone to? dustbin.
i want ME back.

jess, it's so true.
i miss the old us, the old fun.


P.S. jamie and i bought shrek's EARS :D

okay it's like total waste of money, but nyeh, its so freaking cute. but my shrek ears are distorted, what luck -.- it's like one up one down ):

anyway, i have been procrastinating and sleeping since i came home and this is really bad! and i think im like beginning to cough which is total wth. can't decide if i shld go for this friday's thing.
such a difficult person.
when things pass by you just yearn for a 2nd chance so much, yet when the 2nd chance comes, you hesitate to grab it immediately.
even doing MCQs are making choices, it's just the degree of impact these choices will bring, right?

we're all stuck somewhere in life.

and i guess i don't deserve anything out of this. physics tomorrow, again. work for freedom seems untimely. didn't used to be like that, must be some parasite.

真的够了，
能不能让雨别再下了，
能不能让心别再痛了，
能不能不要开灯

seclusion;

seems near. and i so want a remedy.


yay, did all the bio mcq with singyee,jiani and jamie at pp macs! :D
okay, i just realised (abit slow but at least i realised) that we have alot of hol homework to be completed.

smo was OKAY, more to the bad side because we weren't taught to attempt like 1/4 of the questions. right, angles :\
so i stupidly stood outside the bio lab when the lesson is ending in 2 minutes time and i bet half the people thought i overslept or something! HAHA. that was after a failed attempt to call everyone 'cos nobody answered my call. oh well.


Create your own Friend Test here

i think it's super difficult cos i combined questions! HEHE, happy wasting time!


bring upon your own death

im so sure my parents threw away my math olympaid notes.

how screwed can this be?

wow.




they call it a second chance

just when you think that all's gone and all's forgotten, it pops out again.
and it so happened that i was asleep and the moment i woke up and touch my phone it vibrated. carrot!
i bet heaven's playing a trick on me or something. :\

is the signal to give it a shot, or is it to let it go, again.

hc's concert was abit disappointing for me i guess, i mean after the splendid SOV that night, all seems to lack substance under various comparisons. HOWWWW?! i'm dead confused again, so is eileen! but ms lim's solo was ZOMG, pro! the day i will be able to sing like that is the day i become an angel. HAHAHA.

ate yoshi for dinner ytd and that explains my even-worse-than-before-throat-condition now. and eli and me had a terribly failed attempt to dump wp and F(riend).
which is terribly annoying because . . .
guess what! i saw jiamin and mel<3 !
we saw fireworks during the intermission too! :D which leads to my PM.

i just did huiyi's test and her answers are WRONG >.<


why would fireworks become lights of cars?
cause jiamin made them possible -.- ! haha!


returning in the dark

pirates was damn nice! :D to those who are going to catch it, remember to stay for the part after credits! there's something nice there!
as i predicted, got SUN, haha!
i was thinking that if i were a pirate living in the past, i would probably die or something, so will charis :\ haha, just count the uncountable betrayals if it's the right word, in the movie itself throughout some 3 hours, and of course, welcome to singapore! now people in the west would probably think that singapore has lakes and rivers and is part of the west and not even asia, okay maybe they'd think that it's in CHINA.

and yes, hwachong concert later! :D which means that i will come home LATE again. haven't been so bad, but it's gonna be the last day of this transition period, cos im getting so sick of going out everyday and yes, i need to save money for the great shopping trip! (:

friday didn't seem like friday because we had lessons, 2 lessons in particular.
i remembered the days when last day of school meant half-day-offs, meaning that at 10 or something we would probably been rushing down to town, and the day won't be without neoprints :\ now it seems so of-the-past thing because lessons are so inevitable, we even have remedials and choir pracs right up till five in the evening.
cut some slack, students ain't robots, or computers-to-be.
and ah, of course no more camwhoring in wherever it may be in the school.

on thurs after smo while waiting for my dad in the foyer, there's these two ex cedarians who came back and i bet they're just visiting the compound before it gets torn down by the end of the year. they're looking at the tchrs' faces and going like "OMG ISNT SHE YOUR TEACHER?" that kinda remarks.
wondering what would it be like how many years down the road.

oh, i think i will not eat cake for at least two weeks because 4m had 3 cakes on friday! :D one for sarah, one for the birthday babies of sep06-june07 (see how fast time passed) and another blueberry cheesecake!
GRAH, fats! but it was nice lah. why, spiderman.

anyway, maybe i should really consider carefully.

math challenge on saturday @ nj was kinda good because the moment i step in i hear the nj choir having their prac! and i saw xuemin! it's so fun when you're smsing someone and that someone appear right in front of you calling your name because i haven't even sent the message over! anyway, it totally exposed me to how stupid i was, or rather how clever others is.
a harder than math olympaid question done in two minutes, HOW PRO IS PRO! yeah, kudos to ri,rg,and nygh! (: when i didn't even know how to go about attempting the ten questions in the quiz AT ALL, neither did others! xinyan and lijing are DAMN funny! :D

and i totally timed the amt of time i will need to go home from hc after that, 1 hour EXACTLY, to reach sk interchange, not even my house ):
kaiyin was telling me that things in jc are much worse for one reason that always exist, the world is dark, haha.
maybe i should be out to seek a simpler life, rather than getting involved in a complex way that i'd probably be unable to seek a solution.

5 months passed LIKE THIS, soon, another 5 months.

just as i was beginning to ponder;

we'll be doing salve regina again, and i rest assure that it'd be kinda screwed because im losing some 40% of my voice already.


TGIF! (: and also the last day of school tomorrow! : D
was talking so much during m/o lessons today with samantha about football! gosh, jamie's favourite man utd -.-
YAY, but we managed to do like 7 out of 10 questions and got them correct.

It is so long that it makes us forget how short it is. It is so short that it makes us forget how long it can be.

from weiling's blog.

yeah i guess in a blink of the eye everything's gonna pass so quickly that we won't be able to catch hold of anything at all.
9th june would probably be the really last time with the sec4s on the stage.
that was what i thought initially, then again, chances creep in so silently.
commitments, when compared with results are often so minor. i guess it's all a difficult choice to make, do we earn ourselves one last time on that vch stage, forgoing the intensive tension of prelims2007,
or are we just lucky?
miss chye's coming back one day before my birthday, i wonder how things will be like. just like how it USED to be? never, definitely.
years later we'd forget, even the fact that some of us went through so much to earn this gold.

it's so amusing how everything started in sec1 with masquerade on that very stage, and that things will perhaps end there too.
you taught me so much.
it's such an irony, how all our lives will be just like paper faces on parade.
perhaps it was all destined from the start.

and the person who gave us the talk said, "if you never try for the DSA, you will have 100% chance of not getting in HwaChong." So true, there's only two chances.
the talk was so good i am so determined to join hc if i can.
yet like what jessica said, the showcase of all the scholars freaks you out.
and knowing that i'd definitely stay in sg for higher education, it's kind of saddening.
yet i stupidly choose to forgo one chance out of two.
it wasn't stupidity, neither was it rationalism, it's just that at this very point of time i won't be able to accept myself as a student of any college yet.
it's time to put this talk to an end.

it's not self inferiority.
there lies something between the black and white regions- commonly known as the grey region (duh, black+white, HAHA so artsy), 那灰色地带.

if magic exists i will turn myself into a bean! because beans are so funky!
i grew SIX beans today wor! (quincy can do this better, so, ahlian)
and because of overthinking, me jamie and singyee and seowyee kinda screw our bio spa report up!
and ms tan allowed us to do modifications on the spot! HAH, so i happy squeezed lots of water onto the cotton and happily chose my seeds and happily sealed them up! :D
and im gonna visit them tomorrowwwwww!
hoping to see them GROW and spot some plumules and radicles!
SHEESH, DOU DOU! :\

如果人类也能人间蒸发，那该多好。



start afresh, no qualms, no nothing


if this is gonna come true, please make it a good one.

today was all about JCs talk again.
i began wondering what are we all gonna become like, i bet singyee's gonna take up engineering in uni or sth! haha, and jamie will be a rich taitai or like a super businesswoman and i can imagine huiyi teaching her kids at home! kelly will still be crazy over man utd and kaiyin will be a conductor! HAH, eileen will marry a rich guy and give birth to cats :D

completed paper1+2 and 90% of 3 of emath! HAHA. eileen and ruiwen power! (:
without those graphs tho, but YAYE! it's a vast improvement.

why can we laugh about the stupid msgs today! LOL, cos they're so ridiculous you can't help but laugh!

it seems so far.

i guess singyee's going mad because she's laughing so much in class and i will turn back to stare at her! gosh :\ i must stock up all the presents SOON, when i save enough money and stop spending them!

SEE KAIYIN SOON! : D



from our dept outing LONG LONG TIME AGO! haha, bears are love <3


stuck in the middle of no where good.

i really hope i will get out of this mess really soon.

yeahyeah, probability is like, uncountable, astronomical number.

):

oh no, im gonna work super hard for prelims and O's! and i mean it.

i need to go through so much to realise such a simple reality.


RAHHHHH. IM GOING CRAZY!
why is it that commitments have to come at such a time?

why are some parents just so unsupportive?

bubbles burst easily.

& we all need somebody to lean on;



can't seem to read well, humans.

at question 13 of emath paper! shit i just realised i have been using calculator! oh no :\ have got like half the paper more to go. but considering that i actually slept until 9+ and had only a few scopes of curry after waking up, i can stay up late tonight to finish them.

so much about finishing everything. i need to get back this concentration that was so vividly alive before. yeah, stare at fans more. HAHA :D
when you finally see that fan blade!

the key to all success in life, is first, to believe in yourself.

i have been bad during lessons, really bad. didn't attempt to revise work at all. sitting beside huiyi just stresses me out can! ):

as i fall into your grace God, redeem me from these misdoings.

as i work towards the goal with sheer hardwork, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

let's just take it as you'll take me to a serene place with no disturbance and we'll understand.





it's when you finally wake up from a really long sleep

In the day
In the night
Say it all
Say it right
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

ANYWAY! i hadn't sold ANY concert tickets which is like, damn.

the very fact that i screwed my orals upside down makes me wonder, maybe i shouldn't even be thinking so far because there will always be limitations in life no matter how you may have peaked before.

consoles ain't the thing i need now, it's SLAPS in my face that i need.

because i am not thinking anymore, and have sort of came to a decision. (like finally wth! haha)
odds that i will change my mind are 30-70. call wanping later!

rollerblading during PE today! my first time! after breaking jialing's pot of plant years ago at her house. LOL.
took such a long time to find the blades that were not spoilt, and now i can walk myself and glide ABIT thanks to sara and sarah and jamie and singyee and anabella! <3
learning how to rollerblade in school is SO MUCH BETTER than learning it at what, esp or pasir ris park cos that will be SO MALU! and people will surely bang into you. LOL.
NEVERMIND, i will learn it by july! :D
and key point: i did not fall! while huiyi fell so many times. HEHEHEHE.
aside that, i think i screamed so loudly that everyone could hear me when i was ABOUT to fall but nv fall lah X)
which is why my throat is so effing pain now and i'm still BUENO-ING! LOL.

chewy is so funny because she went into the toilet like ten million times over such a short time interval and coming out everytime to whine about her hair and ask "how do i look" or "OMGGG" hehehe!!

GU TOU ! (x

i shall finish the emath paper and set 1 tonight and be good and stop watching tv and start working out holiday plans :D

cause it's a long, long journey

POCPOCPOCPOC!


oh well, eunice is not dsaing cos she refuse to join choir in jc,
which leaves me wanping and eileen in dilemma ): eli is confirming her choice to VJ, world's 8th choir. :D
sheesh, i can never write a pro-con list because it's gonna rant on and on and piss people off again, since i guess i have been bugging so many people and we're all getting tired of this topic.

perhaps it's about me doubting my capabilities, but hey, exams are also about luck (i truly SOOOO believe this).

esp after what happened today, yeah. anything can happen, no matter how good you are. damnnit. it's like damn suay.

bella just left my house! HAHAHA, i went to cut hair today and it's like, SHORT. when i told the person not to cut it short, only layering! ):

i wish friday would just come and i can't wait for hwachong choir concert!! :D :D :D :D

{ CHAR' } Let Love In says:
REALLY ?
{ CHAR' } Let Love In says:
who's your tcher
{ CHAR' } Let Love In says:
i thought you supp b like w me one
ruiwen! turn those faces to the dawn says:
mrs foo
ruiwen! turn those faces to the dawn says:
haha
{ CHAR' } Let Love In says:
haha omfg
ruiwen! turn those faces to the dawn says:
i know u want to be with me lah! : D
{ CHAR' } Let Love In says:
haha good luck
ruiwen! turn those faces to the dawn says:
WHAT!!! aye
{ CHAR' } Let Love In says:
-.-
ruiwen! turn those faces to the dawn says:
dun like that lah
{ CHAR' } Let Love In says:
why ppl so bhb

:\
HAHAHA!




i hate this kind of feeling?
oh damn, gullible me.

haven't been good and haven't done any homework
haven't been hardworking and haven't practise piano ):
i just couldn't get these jazz notes right and my piano sucks because once i accidentally touch the soft pedal i'd have to open the whole thing up and lift the long and heavy metal bar.
which is BAD, because i'm supposed to be best at jazz pieces!
lost my touch after one year!

bishan lib shall be my HOME once again during the holidays! :D

i have a bad hunch about english oral, after scoring the worst ever score in my 4 years in cedar, 27/40. (yeah wth lah i mean really wth)
it's prelims, and i really want that A for english. as for how, i don't know.

AND HAHAHA CHELSEA WON FA CUP FINALS! :D nyeh, lalalala! (:


maybe it's time

to really think hard, about whatever the future lies.

maybe life is like a comedy, not to say that every part of life is funny, but to say that it's amazing how there are things behind the scenes that are unknown to everyone, except a few. and even a comedy has it's sad scenes, right? those that are touchy. and of course, those that bring laughter, uhhuh it's objective?

but it turns out to be more of a facade. everything's competing against you, even if you yourself doesn't wanna take part in this whole junk, even if you just wanna exclude yourself from these many many stuffs in life that are just so intriguing and so taxing.

some may say those are excuses, but sometimes the harder you try to find excuses for yourself, the harder you get excused.

it's really amazing how one, from the time you are borned, gets into this world and makes connection with others. and out of these many connections, which of which will be those that will not break?

the harder you're exposed to REALITY, the less you know of yourself. sometimes i don't even know whether am i the one who knows myself best. cause i'm ever so contradicting in my actions. perhaps my mind is too quick for me sometimes. i think so hard, so hard, that i end up confusing myself like i always do and eventually, hurt myself as well as others.

and it all boils down to one word: regret.

yes yes, i know, follow my heart. but when all the vessels in there gets tangled up and the aorta no longer carries oxygenated blood, what can you do? or rather, is the heart still reliable?


sometimes it's all about happiness.
yeah yeah.
i was trying to sleep very late last night, so that i won't suffer from insomia.
so i ended up watching angel's lover until 1am, when i finally knocked out.

dreams and inspirations versus reality and life

which is which?

i love eileen so much if one day she's not in my life anymore i'd just cry :D

let's choose some place and vanish into the air
since nobody will realise such presence

I WANT A HOT PINK SPORTS CAR WHEN I GROW UP!



TAGS(:

jialing: AYEE I GOT SMS YOU LEH!!!!!
huiyi: you're so nice you don't wanna help me do the amath hol hmwk :\ HAHAHA.
jessica: AIYAH i don't even know how to go now, HAHA im like talking to you msn and replying your tag here and anyway, you come back in RJ uniform lah! : D when everything comes to an end.
carrot: EEEKS! freaky : D hehehe i ask cherissa then she's like quite shocked too!
valerie: why cannot call the pig!! HAHAHA. have been calling him pig since duno when. i told him to treat you to dinner can! cos you help him get votes! :D
chewy: YAH! who knows next time i bring you and your aiai tgt :D
char: three same words: you crazy ah! my throat is like pain now -.- must be the FISH!
cy: it opened yesterday lah you sotong! -.-

I CAN FINALLY VIEW MY TAGBOARD! hahaha. after scanning my comp and finding 9 viruses. >.< so its vulnerable too!

I WANNA TALK TO MY COUSIN! >.<

environmental influences mutate me man!

sometimes it's all about luck and probability.
sometimes it's all about potential.
sometimes it's all about capability.
sometimes it's all about a piece of paper.

sometimes it's all about you.


i bet charmaine and anabella are not even home!!!
:D

yay fish and co is nice but i couldn't finish the last 6 fries, yeah food wastage.

IM LIKE TOTALLY CONFUSED NOW,
this is not the way
neither is that the way
HOW?!

GAHGAHGAH, if only there's a ruiwen road... :D

anyway ms chng was telling us to discuss how to improve our results as a class and stuff, so someone (i forgot who) said birdnest! so, i went MS CHNG U COOK BIG POTS OF BIRD NEST FOR US EVERYDAY LAH
so she hesitated and went, I GIVE YOU AMMONIA?!
bu kui shi wo men de chemistry teacher! -.-

IM SO BORED.
we talked and talked and talked in fish & co and said a thousand million funny stuffs!
:D


between choices lies dilemmas

i read the history elect textbook today! modern history, hahaha! of CHINA!
:D
interests or not?

anyway i decided that i don't like MODERN history, cause its MODERN. i rather learn ANCIENT history about all the dynasties of china and HAHA, then tv can then be used as an interactive guide to studying history! :D
if only they test you on how many concubines this and that emperor had! and their love stories :\
rightttt.

cheryl got for us the hc concert ticks! YAY. ((:
i'm like spending so much money on concerts this month >.<
and eileen chow better don't ps me during chma if not i'd like, like, kill YOU!

i'm so stuck in amath.
see, mentality MATTERS.
(yeah, not chemistry matters, our textbook... haha -.- )

i will finish up all the tys and fys and whatsoevers in june! if you believe me.... HAHAHA.

GET WELL SOON ELY MUMMY! : D


im gonna watch tv, AGAIN !


today was a bad day, never felt so much anger in my life before.
what right have you got to mention those words?
so what if you're _____
so to say, you suck too.

AWWWW.

can't decide my mind AGAIN, when my decision is supposed to be firm and all.
i'm always doing contradictory stuffs which is like BAD.

3 phototakings tomorrow, 4m, choir, oals.
of which one is gonna be awkward, i guess?
yeah yeah, final last year, if my hair gets screwed tomorrow im gonna cry >.<
so long, so fast, 4 years of my life in cedar is coming to an end in less than 165 days. (as seen from the class whiteboard)

gah, my eyes are like RED and pain and i feel like some part of the flesh is popping out?!


逃避不一定躲得过
面对不一定最难过
失去不一定不再有
转身不一定最软弱

-wenyi's essay from the book

也该睡醒了吧？

梦 不一定完美， 又不一定丑陋

很多时候，走错一步可以让人后悔一身。
但埋怨，后悔，又有何用？
不如想想什么才是关键所在，对症下药……
但，药也不是万能的。


有时记忆就是那么的可笑，越不想记得的事情，越是容易想起。相反的，越是“渺小”的种种事件，越是让人难以忘怀。
那跟所谓“选择性”的记忆完全相反。
但两者都同样，带来的不只是欢笑，还有悲伤。
转身，看不见，出现。
原本那一幕好陌生，好陌生，但转瞬间在眼下的却是一个好久，好久的朋友。
熟悉的陌生人。
不知道那算不算是童年往事，而我唯一能抓住的是不是只是那说短不短，说长也不长的昔日回忆?
因为我可能是那么微不足道的，
曾今，不代表日后。
也许到头来，一切都会变成空虚。

太复杂了。
走到哪儿都有着以被遗忘的足迹，这是命运的捉摸，还是老天开的玩笑……
若这只是一场梦，那么这梦可不可以快点结束？
什么才算是“够了”，什么有算是“不够”？
但一切太真实了，真实得让人害怕。

人
生
真真假假
喔。


vjc choir concert yesterday!
sheesh, hahaha again, their tenors and basses are like powerful! and it's like really balanced sound and all and i still cannot spot cherissa tan ):
i like the way when sops are not the main melody, which is what u find in alot of choirs.
i guess 1812 overtune was like the best! like, sheesh, i was quite close to tears for no reason, probably cause it's one of the best choral pieces i ever heard (excluding recorded voices)!
(:
while wanping and i was in bishan lib, we're like totally stuck with this identities question until she took out the MYE paper with the formulas and i go zomg, call huiyi! HAHAHA.
i hate identities man >.<
although its supposed to be the easiest because they actually give you the answer and all you have to know are the 3 rules and tangent = sine/cosine and that's about it, but it's like the worst thing on earth to have it included under MATHEMATICS.

then i have to hear about some horrible things.
gah. i can't made up my mind, although i'm like officially PRO-hwachong because yeah and i'd probably take PCME (physics chem math econs) but physics MYE paper was like total zz for me and i've lost half the confidence i used to have for it.
PHOBIA, you call it.
but i still dunno what directions to take on.

haha, anyway if THE PIG becomes p/vp of rj chorale...
i'll have FREE massive rj promotion everyday. HAHAHAHA! :\
good luck anyway ((:

i seriously need to put tons of effort on chinese and english and biology and physics and EVERYTHING!
can't be complacent!
can't be stressed too!

debrief tomorrow, gah, >.<

char and bella are like totally into jogging now!!!! >.<


golly.
if only i hadn't been so careless and blahblahblah, i can name you a thousand "if only"s now, because i got a freaking __ for physics, and it was supposed to be an a1, yes i used supposed.
damn,
deem me as whiny, if you know me well you'd know why i laughed so hard in the hall upon hearing the 6.44 msg for the cohort.

haha.

jas and i were like yan jiu-ing the pet foods, and i realised she's got a dogggggg!! the one that made anabella screamed like duno what. HAHAHA.
aye! dogs nowadays are so fortunate, have what fortified calcium bones to make their teeth stronger?! WTH LAH.
i never even take vitamins for my teeth! ):
and the small lil doggies shown are SO FREAKING CUTE
why do some pets have such fortune! haha.
and dogs eat carrots (haha!!!) and ikan bilis too! so, fishy-like. HAHAHA, i thought only cats eat them or something, and rabbits.
and she took forever to choose an air-refreshener for her locker -.-
AND THEY ALL SMELL LIKE FOOD TO ME!!!

i love talks about the future,
sound so distant, yet so near.
now hc seems distant too, damn, the result of too little stress! haha.
bought s.h.e's new album :D listening to it now, HAHAHAHA, totally worth the money! :D
why do you think i can know almost all their songs for years!

i'm wondering what to write on that blank piece of paper.

and omg?! cheryl knows jiamin!!! HAHAHA, i totally screamed lah. LOL.
how small the world is,
yet,


Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.


hadn't had such a great laugh for such a long time.
esp when it wasn't about something very funny :\
nothing in particular.

yet when the simplicity of life strikes you so hard, you choose to think that it's the complexity of it all.

because we've all got a story to tell, to hide, in our lives.

in pre school we're taught to solve problems, yet we don't really apply this "theory" well in life do we?
instead, we adopt a new "theory" called running.
maybe our minds ain't very adapted to finding a solution.

i'm just wondering

nyeh, vj concert on tues! : D hopefully it'll be enjoyable! but stupid ym ps us again! ):


see the screen blink, that orange light,
probability = 1/2
hoping it is and is not you.


i am speechless.

maybe, i should apologise, yet i guess that's only going to complicate matters and make things worse for you.
after all that mess.
it's intriguing, everything i typed would have been carefully thought.
and now i ask god why, are things in this state.
or maybe after that we'd seriously never talk again.


was it my selfishness?

or was it, something else?

nobody's got the key.


DAMN, HAHAHA, i don't sound depress please! not at all.
the previous post was 'cos mid yrs made me thought of something else, something like all our unpredictable lives.

woke up at like 4pm today?! HAHAHA, admit it, no one can sleep longer than i sleep :D esp when i turned it at not 4am, but 12am ytd! :D
post exam periods are boring, nothing to do >.<
and mengqiao is actually going thru her mistakes of the mye papers! (almost typed eoys, HAHAHA, siao la)
if only i was so hardworking, nyeh.

sing was having fever yesterday! hopefully not cos of too much laughing, LOL, at MVs and yay she kind of like jjlin now, LOL, and we understood why simin LOVES him so much.
he can like compose songs and words and sing them ON THE SPOT,
what is pro is pro. HAHAHHAA, the brutal truth.

im gonna get shot during tuition tomorrow. LOL. still working on thousand miles!

ok cos i went sing's hse that day, and we were SUPPOSINGLY doing homework and stuff and after that we starting watching s.h.e's zhong guo hua and watch alot alot of stupid stuff and we chanced upon this video teaching ppl how to play a thousand miles in video (kind of funny! but the person CAN REALLY SING AND PLAY!!!!) and best of all she composed everything herself, and we got the "trick" to playing the song.
so we started playing and eating wantons! HAHAHAHA.
in the end took like 7 hours to do 10 amath questions :\
AHHH.
that song is real tough man, to me at least.
stretchy fingers!
we were like if we play this song for like one week, our fingers sure grow longer!
and her poor lil bro was locked out of the house cos the videos were so loud we couldn't hear the doorbell.
HAHAHA! (:


got back some results today, i guess they were okay,
some of those you would have high expectations, yet it just doesn't meet the targets,
yet some, came as such surprises.

and uh huh, life works the same way. we can always wake up the next day and expect the same routine to go on, but what about waking up tomorrow and expecting something different?

i don't know.

i'd always reserve some place in my heart.


oh wow, f it.
you think you're so great?
HAHAHA. wow. wow.

hyps.


偶尔我真的不懂你，又有谁真懂自己？
kbox tomorrow! YAYYYY :D
after SO LONG. i must learn zhong guo hua by tonight! HAHAHA, then i'll get like a1 for my chi :O

i remember we used to go siao in sec2 and always go j8 on nonchoir days and qixuan will go to minitoons and look at, posters, for her sister :\

something just led me to read eileen<3's blog when i first opened the browser.
and i read and read.
and read somemore.
its rooted dearie. 10 yrs down the road i WILL still talk to you guys and we'll be eating at ANYTHING ANYWHERE the one-stop shop opened by yunmin the great! :D HAHAHA. (okay, just struck me that qx can do the desiginingnignigngingng!!! :D )

THERE'S LIKE AMATH AND EMATH HMWK.
one letter? z.
zzzzzz. sigh! im like damn tired, no mood to even practise piano which i originally intended to, shld have gone to the clinic with huiyi!

amath sounds scary, 2.5 hahahaha we're 2nd to 4p for that, but ms chng said we got first for chem coming in with a msg of 2 point something, :\


walking right into, nmw.


went down to watch the jc's syf 2007.
missed the morning session tho. I DIN KNOW NJ AND TJ WAS TODAY, or rather that everyone's was today >.< sry piggy!
anyway, vj sounded OMG i was biting air physically, stunned. inspiring was about the only word i could use. their sopranos really live up to their great name, and of course their reputation of being the 8th choir in the world.
this is the music that touches your heart, (: thus i decided to go for the vj concert afterall and i totally have no money now, and hc's concert toooo! (din get to hear hc, ahhh wanping ): )
when we reached saw mr toh walked out = rj finished, jinx, if only we'd been a bit earlier. saw geof chris (whom i tot din see me but actually saw me!) and vallllllerie (:
aj was cute with the rather "singaporean" set piece they "composed" ! xianhui and christina and karen and sam!
HAHAHA OMG AND I SAW MY BUDDY TODAY, didn't recognise her the second time in a row, CHERISSA :D :D :D :D
totally ran into her arms man!!! hahaha.

ate before that @ gelare, YAY, tues waffle. so filling lah! yunmin couldn't join us, and denyse khorrrrr xinhui. AHHH. was kind of lost, too long nv go vch, but im dead sure that can go by that esplanade way.

congrats to everyone! :D
and piggy cheer up okayyyy. you guys done well, you said you felt good singing out there so yeah! :D
chris looked scary, but yup hope you're fine too! (didn't know you so brave uh) hahahahaha!
and novabelle must be DAMN happy and cher :D
hahaha hc got gwh!

was telling carrot about, what gives them the right to judge anyway.
like, singing is supposed to be a simple thing afterall, so is many things in life.
yet as she said, who doesn't judge right.
but most importantly its how everyone looks at himself/herself.
it all comes from your heart i guess.
yet music to everyone is a different thing, children MAY think that music = the treble clef, as you grow older you may think music = recorder, or music = piano, yet there's so many forms of music around us, even simple sound waves.
the most cool of it all being the voices.
cos humans produce it by themselves, and not every human can do it nicely. gift, i would say, from heaven.
made me think that maybe we don't deserve it afterall, yet when we told ms chye over the long distance call that it was unexpected, she said must thank god for it.
come to think of it, yeah, i really thank god for everything man. the strength to carry on. must jiayou for the concert in june! (: & reach out to the audiences' hearts.

was sitting in there for so long with eileen and wanping! hahaha. talked like thousand million things. wanping was saying she wanted to join odac, so do i, but then again, how do i ever give up something i've been doing and STILL doing, singing, for 4 years right.
not so easy.
too easy.
kind of hard imagining us all gonna be in jc's soon and stuff.
saw jiejun today too, our ex pres, and xianhui, and the ex ex ex ex ones. and ms susan leong lol.

hahaha and eileen had to reject her dad's wonderful offer of having a chalet for her friends = us. ):
i wanna go cycling soon :D
absorb more ultraviolet rays huh, promote growth of bones LEH. (result of too much bio, woops!)

sch's tomorrow and thurs!
SIGH.
i have a sudden urge to like study now, but its like right and wrong at the same time.

so much for not putting in much effort.
why not take the time whining to do something practical about it, why not?

future sounds fun.


should have thought of the consequences.
heard applications will be out during mid may, damn,
if only i had put in effort for the straight A's i want, i may.
who wanna accept somebody with ummm, i dunno.

no use regretting now.

qixuan ASSUMES i watch winx club -.-
tvs are WAYYYYY better, :D

decided not to go for tuition tomorrow.
shall sit down and meditate. >.<


HAHAHA. damn i think blogger's screwed now.
i'm actually getting worried for my mid years results, and lying in bed procrastinating about the "should-haves" isn't getting any better.
ah, the world seems to have changed with either of us walking out of the respective lives, can't help it.
the tangibility of friendships.
then again, i WILL get over this SOME DAY.

was having quite much fun trying to EXPLORE my phone's functions since all i know is to call and sms and mms (hey, it's particularly useful when it comes to teaching/getting taught for math questions with diagrams :D trust me man!)
thus the ultimate spamming of music clips in almost every sms i sent to yunmin!

i was particularly happy, for i watched 5 dramas/shows ytd, particularly yu le bai fen bai, hai tun wan lian ren (yay proves my stand once again that it IS a nice show, yet makes me think that lv guang sen lin totally copied it, about 人家对你许下的诺言, childhood days and stuff), the 7pm channel u show, the 9pm channel 8 show which to me makes people dun wanna get married but its FREAKING hilarious and damn, how to increase singapore's birthrate? HAH, foreign talent is the "solution" of no-solutions, and lastly my fav show which sw ALSO LIKES<3333 i duno the title, HAHAHA, but it's DAMN COOL yay hk serials ARE THE BEST.

watched espn first edition today, haha, it seems like my every saturday routine, and yes the hot news of man utd losing to ac milan, HAHAH shld have gotten jamie to watch this!
i so badly need my a1 for physics ):
in hope that my l1r5 won't EXPLODE, yes explode is the word, altho its not EXPLODE IGNITE that kinda explosion :D heh.

is setting high targets for yourself good?
hahaha, i say its self denial.
damn, i need that positive attitude SO BADLY.
sometimes i wanna find my old mugger self, sometimes i don't.
i realised there's only 1 sch day next week :D which is GOOD hahaha i'll spend the rest of the days doing i-dunno-what-things.
and i suddenly found money inside my drawers :D:D:D:D
the goodness of leaving money everywhere!

maybe i'd get the pink bag from nike, YES PINK AGAIN.
sheeeeeeeeeeesh ):
my plans WERE like to finish all tys on physics. and of cos read thru last yr's and this yr's tutorials and read my phy notebook AGAIN repeatedly,

the power of concentration is undeniable.

aviva open live now!
HAHAHAHA.

ok shall not watch it.

seriouslyyyyy.


the only thing that makes sense today

"there is no relationship that is forever, friendship, love, or what so ever. really. this are all lies that cheat people of feelings"
yunmin the great! : D

anyway bio was.
okay i regretted.
by 8+pm ytd i already finished all the sec3 topics.
yet i went to watch tv again -.-
omg my mum shld seriously move those 4 damn shits thing out of the house so i have nothing to watch.
upon staring at the paper, yes damnit i know where to find the answers but just vaguely remember them.
i wasn't even so guilty for any other papers.
but its all too late.
now i feel even slacker than before );

self control. BLEAH.
totally lost it this year.

spiddy 3! :D

went to ps to eat lunch w ym and eileeeeeeeeen!
HAHAHAHA.
yunmin is nice enough to be pulled by me into nel and took w with me to potongpasir and now shes back at vivo?!
HAHAHAHA.
i bet there's reunion cos my sms is being dao-ed now >.<
and i just realised i've gave mum all my money and i have less than 30 bucks of cash now (?!)
how to go shoppping. rah.

anyway, chanced upon that dolphin show which belongs to the previous era but anyway.
its super nice.
of the 30min i was watching it during dinner, the female lead cried 4 times!!

有的人说不清哪里好
但就是谁都替代不了

HAHAHA.
damn i getting high. but anytime falling aslp HERE. like HERE RIGHT HERE.

ok.
im full from my icekachang which only has remains of corn LOL.


HAHAHAHA.
oh man friday is finally gonna be here, in less than 10 hours! : D
no it just that i can't wait for end of exams and go out everyday.
and of course spiderman 3.
when i dun even remember if i had watched the previous ones.

and damn, teevee programmes ruin me/my life.
was it about i-should-not-have-watched-it-and-instead-shld-have-spent-the-hours-studying, or should it be, i-shldnt-try-so-hard-cos-its-midyears.

):
whatever it is.


i have a bad feeling.
and i shall shop for all the birthday presents i owe people after exams.

AHHAHA. big highlight for the day: szewaiy actually hadn't slept since 2AM cos she woke up to study.

i shall sleep and wake up later! :D

yet admist the dreams. i find somethings so familiar.

hahaha i decided to go tuition on sun anyway cos i will be SO BORED by physics at home.






HAHAHA.
crashed another two papers.
oh well.

>.<


HAHAHA.
labour day is truly for labour.
studying is a form of labour too.

collin says he will stay up till 12am for my bday, HAHAHAHA, i bet you there's 10% he will do it. -.-

WHY ISN'T MY MUM LIKE "FUN" LAH.
i want to play with cucumbers also! LOL. jk.
but i think charis's mum is still DAMN FUNKY AND FUNNY : D (tho charis didn't inherit this DESIRABLE CHARACTERISTIC)

and im KIND OF looking forward to bio paper. i mean, okay bio is some sort of common sense since it's something to do with YOUR BODY.
if only i could cut myself up during exam then i will get like full marks man.
LOL.
like how econs is common sense made difficult.
bio is learning about common sense which is totally ironical.
hopefully i don't fall asleep later!

and anyway, KBOX is coming : D

and i forsee a big hole in my wallet because i spend money when im not happy.
not that im not happy. but i just feel like buying many things.

the simplicity yet hidden parts of life.

leaves you tangled.

forgot to say, charis is MADDD (: to like this toothpaste sweet thingy WHICH IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING and tastes like toothpaste.
even the way you eat it is gross lah! LOL.
and i actually thought it was some poison and they had to eat it before i dared to eat.
:D
yet its this very things that remind you about adolescent times,
when you were much innocent and less emotional,
when you could just talk to anyone about anything.