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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

dumbledore's favourite magic, love <3

i finally finished the book, even if it meant skipping through boring details of the last 20 page in a good attempt to keep to my schedule, HAHA. felt some tinges of sadness after completing the book, because of yeah, dumbledore's death which apparently got overthrown because of deathly hallows and how like ron harry and hermoine's friendship could be on the brink of breakage despite them knowing each other for a good whole 6 years. (okay, they're fictional characters) but still, okay, i don't know. and harry and ginny are like funny!? gosh.

what if your loved ones all leaves you slowly, one by one? without any warnings.

sometimes life really does seem like a joke.

sacrifices.

what about coming to a definition about what is the most important to you?
-
anyway, i've successfully saved a significant amount of money to buy a decent new camera! :D HAHA. congratulations to me. :D:D:D

and eileen's brownies were NICE LAH GOSH YAYE! comparable to jasmine's!

and yay 4M was high during community singing :D:D







and now, that something has changed

i just realised something so ultra super terrible when i was studying the notes ms wee gave today (right, 100 over pages) and it came as such a shock i can't wait to tell the tuition ppl! GOSH. i'm still lost for words. anyway, decided to give tuition a miss and go for next mon's night class. thanks to the stupid toast and my stupid lousy weak immunity system.

and i bought 4 new files for my beloved notes! LOL, it's like pink orange grey and purple! :D

AND I READ LIKE TEN PAGES OF MY HARRY POTTER BOOK. (see, sacrifices of exams, can't read addictive books) (see, charis toh! stop reading your lang de you huo!)

anyway today, jamie tay is being hysterical and kept laughing during theatrette lessons (three of them! -.-) and me and liukun decided to bomb her during bio remedial and i guess i was singing so loudly despite my croaky voice before the remedial started ms tan turned to look at me -.- nevermind.

old songs have deep meanings! it was so nice watching high sch musical yesterday! :D while i was SUPPOSED to be er, reading textbooks. WAHAHA. i'm so happy that my smses won't actually explode this month FOR SURE!

and i think i'm the slowest pig in the world to realise that choir got colours team award, which makes yunmin having 3 colours in 4 years and she still wants more o.O i'm contented with two! haha. some part of my memory got hooked up while i was reading through the list. (if you can infer, maybe JAT can!)

i'm excited during bio lessons now cos i'm hoping she'd faster teach the new chapters! GOSH. HAHAHA. i think i'm terribly insane. anyway SEL was funnny esp joanne's group's er COOL rap :\

THE SONG WE ALL KNOW HOW TO SING! WAHAHAHA, dated back in 2000, that's seven years ago >.<

An empty street,
An empty house,
A whole inside my heart.
I'm all alone.
The rooms are getting smaller.
I wonder how,
I wonder why,
I wonder where they are.
The days we had,
The songs we sang together.♥

and i survived jogging today, go me! :D




the unspoken silence.


the ultimate mugging schedule for prelims

maybe it's a good immunity to the 1001 problems in everyone's lives, MUG HARD. a form of living in self denial, but ultimately works in the end.

anyway yusin was saying something that mr yau told them, if you all wanna become housewives next time, O level physics is enough, because you'd have learnt about the three pin plug :\
was laughing my head off, but true! so next time you wanna be a housewive, O level bio is also sufficient because you'd have learnt about how to give birth :\ :\ :\ see, ms tan's notes mentioned about the dilation of the cervix and peristaltic movements to push the baby out :D:D (THIS IS COLD)

i think my body hates the weather now, cause everytime i bathe it's so freaking cold and even if i had max the heater it's still so cold and i see smoke o.O reminds me of that time we bathed at eileen's house (NOT TGT =X) i was using something like 8 for heater when they all used 1/2. so we concluded that whatever we ate was boiled in my stomach. WAHAHAHA.

i'm such a cold blooded animal!

nevermind, anyway i was trying to convince my mum that the blackhead remover thing works, so she told me that egg whites are more useful, like u use egg white on ur nose and all the black head will be stuck in the egg whites. so i went "waste of money, its an egg you know" until she said "blackhead remover also need money" :\

random.

GRAH. i feel like drowning inside a swimming pool. LOL!?

okay. tag me. which brand of cameras are better?
a. sony
b. canon
c. panasonic(lumix)
d. olympus
e. casio


stealing glances

can't imagine that in a few (not even a couple) months' time, we'll be graduating from cedar. graduate sounds like such a big word, no?
i seriously wonder what everything's gonna be like, yeah i haven sink into mental depression now but it's hard to tell in a few months time hur. sometimes i just hate myself for this burning desire, yet everytime it seems so far away. my alarm clock rang for 1 hour today cos i set a nice song "you make me wanna" HAHAHAHA :D and when i woke up the whole house is empty cause my parents went to the MARKET.

i'm going to file up ALLLLLLL my worksheets today! which means that i shall go popular later and buy LOTS of files. and do bio papers for good! and finish up the chemistry remedial worksheets since long long time ago ago :D i concluded that the library likes me and eileen cos it wasn't SO cold but QUITE cold yesterday. bumped into collin and the kang an person and their friend. like how small can singapore be? only (i forgot how many) square kilometres! and ate DUCKKKK. like gosh, i miss eating duck even though duck is killed because we ate it. HAHAHA.


they're building an undersea tunnel in singapore which is only 5km and cost over $2B.














disillusions kill

some words came shocking, but others were generally more reflecting. after trying to run away from reality by not actually caring about what's going on, but hey you can't really physically run! problems are there for reasons right? anyway, my hatred for her increased. how much is reputation worth? some say alot, but at the end of the day you gain disrespect instead. awww? that was where my roots start to grow, from a stupid young seedling who can't even sing to the colours of the wind to someone, now, though not exactly good to speak of. yet now we are, witnessing, falls, like how falls of dynasties come about? shrugs. so long to build it up, yet, yet, it was sheer misery hearing them out. hopeless? i hope not, 'cos hope is in our hearts. (right) why not better people? because chosen ones are there for a reason, a reason to believe. no more Czech huh. i don't know. but i know how this feels because we've been there, without support from anyone, too, once.

they sounded so great i was on the verge of crying, not for the fact that it was not an occasion to cry at all and that someone was beside me. yeah, truly so agree that choral works locally have reached such a technical level that most simply forgot what voices and singing are supposed to bring about, happiness. it was literally staging at perfection even tho perfection does not exist. (now i regret not taking the free ticket to choral fest concert ): ) so strong, united, confident, touched my bare souls and make me wanna reach out to them and sing with them. and we're like small frys. waiting to be fried, and were fried, killed.

the sense of guilt has taken over me for about 2 hours, they're probably on the plane now. why, bio spa. all i have is the green lil pouch that she gave me and other souvenirs, reckoned ym was pissed for a while. :\ shrugs. photos for keepsake purposes, anyone? my hongkong buddy flying on a jet plane<3

and what i lack now is sheer determination and hardwork. leading to building up confidence. solid.

just have this sudden urge to sing.


好想知道，

WAHAHAHA. i finally finished reading the 5th book! gosh and finally understood the prophecy part (okay px is going to roll her eyes upon reading this) but anyway, charis was saying that i'm obsessed about the book now and there should be a harry potter for dummies :\

grah, somehow NONE of the people i wanna take to about how contradicting i am to my own goals are online. which is kind of sad. cause i seriously need somebody to talk to. ): haha, nevermind, controversies are good for health? right.

how i wish there's some stupid lesson like full maths for the whole day, i'd pretty much rather spend my life doing math than doing i don't know, biology? cause you don't get to cut up your own body to find the answers :\ RIGHTTTT. okay i think i'm half bonkers after reading harry potter. wheee. i shall read from the start after o's! :D

it's just very annoying because the popular at sengkang doesn't have ANYTHING i want! i can't even find a decent pencil for goodness sake and not even 0.38 refills and for the pen i bought out of desperation at toa payoh that day (long long time ago) which is kind of nice to use! so i resort to buying a green pencil from the bookshop from the row of shophouses below the carpark at my house. HAHA. i shall buy the red one tomorrow.

TE KIA! get well soon! haha :D

community singing reminded me of choir days. right.
today they performed at the syf choral fest thingy.

你的一百分会给怎样的人？


HUIYI ALWAYS STRESSES ME LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. IF I EVER GET STRAIGHT A1S DURING PRELIMS, SHE WILL BE THE FIRST ONE I'LL THANK. HAHA!

anyway, went to eileen chow's house before going to char's house yesterday! GOSH, wasn't what i imagined it to like except that the pond's on the right. but it's like damn big and cool with rooms that nobody uses thus qx decided to stay there if she ever run away from home -.- YAY, anyway her mum is SOOOO DAMN COOL AND NICE LAH! had some curry chicken thingyy from ABC RESTAURANT for lunch and i drank up the whole gong4 of grass jelly which has no sugar syrup to me :D and then we dunno did what and talked and bathed (not together) and played badminton! YAY I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE LOUSIER THAN ME. HAHAHA. i hate green algaes! and i hid tigger in eileen's room :D and playing fighting eraser with elson LOL. hate dogs who roam around like nobody's business. makes me scream!

anyway char's got potential to scream louder than me!!

i feel like buying harry potter and the deathly hallows! but, i've yet to read the sixth book but from wikipedia i already know the ending and yay i'm such a good guesser. now i feel bad for hating snape for killing dumbledore! ):
SHOULD I?


okay back to doing amath.


they say that lost things have a way of finding their way back, someday.

maybe, i'm still sore over the fact that i lost my department bottle, but actually, what does it really means huh. it's just, a bottle to be exact. right, where every scratch probably holds some memories back then. then again, i don't exactly wish to remember some 90% of that. selective memory.

and you see, i've seen too much superficiality in a day. maybe that's why i'm kind of sad now, not exactly sad, but sad over the general idea of how this world works. life politics maybe.

perhaps something was defined today, after so many months which is going to amount to a year. in fact, graduation will be in less than 3 months, prelims are making everything worse, and what, everyone walks separate, different yet distinct paths.

just can't help it, makes things sound SAD, okay but they really are.

racial harmony made my cheek muscles so pain! >.< haha, too much camwhoring in a day makes you tired, and i'm physically drained now. fell down during blading yesterday and backbone has been aching since. i mean really, fell on my butt. was so afraid i can't walk today when i woke up. which explains why i did not wear heels today. anyway my mood was already quite rotten to start with in the wee hours, sorry to say the day will end much worse.
i just got reminded that i didn't take photos with wanping and ely! sigh.

yayyyye charmaine i hope you like the present! it's like four years since i know you and yup 1+3+3+3 pictures! :D happy sweet 16, even though you will read it in the morning. now huiyi demands something sweet from me too!


maybe things ain't as simple as i thought.


nothing to blog about anyway.

i still don't like changes

you know, if my comp crashes and all my photos are gone, i'm gonna be so

but anyway yay harry potter tomorrrrrrow!


if time makes a person stronger, i'd like to see how strong i'll be in 40 yrs time! probably cannot even walk already o.O

ANYWAY I'VE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO CHINATOWN!? HAHA. okay i sound crazy. i love chinatown, makes me feel like a cute little tourist because i get so lost there too! muahaha.

let's hope that whichever path that lies ahead is the best one.

i think that charity shows makes me feel sad/emo. cause it makes me feel useless. hurhur.


i think i've changed too. probably everyone has. can't see how life goes on anymore.
trying so hard doesn't make a difference in the end, does it?


anyway, can't decide what to wear for rhd! haha, i think i need to bring lots of batteries for my camera because i'd be taking damn alot of photos on friday? LOL. should have bought the qipao that day! and jamie went to buy the $_ _ kebaya at chinatown. grahhh.

i officially hate my phone now. the usb port there is like spoilt, kinda. so now i have immense difficulty uploading pictures to my phone, transferring music, charging my phone, plucking the earphones in and luckily the only thing that works is my charger -.- best of all, i lost my warranty card?! it's still under warranty okay ): sad case.


now it all feels like a nutshell.

was what farewell left me with. yeah, 04-07, 4 years, tears happiness. yunmin the emo kid cried again! haha. (: <3 somewhere, as said by the pig? at least i have memories to take with me, in still motions. no, the smiles are real, what's not real is the world.

i just feel like ranting on and on and on. never knew how goodbyes were put across. it's just all so weird, or perhaps i'm the weird one yeah. something like you just donated a flesh somewhere in the body to your heart. perhaps it's because i know everyone won't be under one roof ever again, even though a few of us will. it's rather heart wrenching to say.

if everybody is telling me to mug, maybe i really should. yeah, 9. it doesn't seem right at all, anymore, no matter how hard you try to put things back. because once a scar is inflicted, it remains there forever. superficiality only hides it, but doesn't cover the fact that it's there.

i tend to think even more when i'm free. too used to busy packed schedules with choir? haha. maybe. i almost strangled denyse to death for thinking i got 6 points for my mid yrs, due her conclusion with elizabeth that i was happy.

& anyway, i can officially blade now! :D despite missing the basic lesson one, but yay i caught up. i can rolllll too. MUAHAHA. even though if some fast moving object were to approach me i'd proabably scream again, guess it's one of the things i do best. and chewy is PRO one lah! gosh, i wonder if i can ever blade in public cause it's gonna be totally embarrassing >.< and yay we're going to eileeeeeen's house next friday before going to char's :D

/edit apparently i typed alot about farewell but got deleted. damn.


hey you, 明明动了心.

today is a happy happy day! :D went to ikea with two greatest people in my life and did thousand million spastic things, about animals, plants. gosh! HAHA. what's with FREE LABOUR? it's free! that's the main point. and eileen is such a big bully, poor J.C :D and yay i've concluded i am always the most innocent oneeeeeee. "why she so cute one", when someone walked thousand miles to put away the trays. yay, i love their chicken wing more than meatballs?! HAHAHA. tastes like human meat, even though i've never tried it before, cause it doesn't taste like beef if beef tastes like chicken to me but there's pork. sheeeeesh. i did a bad thing, taking free drink! but i was too timid, so only had half a cup. ): and yay we found the various farewell presents for our sections! yunmin's in love with flowers, and "xia-ing" the brown paper, while eileen is obsessed with her toy, meant for cats/dogs to bite. infer! (:

always a reason why there's such thing called raining cats and dogs. MUAHAHA. okay i bet nobody understands what am i talking about because it's not supposed to be understood anyway! then nice me went to eat tau huey with yunmin and ate 20% of her peanut dumplings! see, gst increment only 2%, i absorb 20% for her okay! >.< :D:D:D

let's hope that we don't start crying on friday. grah. mixed feelings.

school was pretty okay due to the fine weather (only meaning it's not scorching) but px is like drooopy. charis too. then jiani started singing 窗外 like so random?! yay i sang that song for the whole day! LOL.

back to, realitymugging.



okay, i just woke up even though it's already early in the evening now. and apparently, there's so much work to do which i can't bring myself to.

and pretty thanks to the orange juice i just drank which was left since lunchtime, my stomach is aching now. ):

someone tell me that i can don't give the juniors anything for farewell. maybe just because i don't love them enough, maybe because i love the seniors, us, more. or rather i forsee bad days ahead. now infer. it's not exactly a thing that would have been pass down through the seniors. right. the people in the dark. downhill? oh no. the best thing to do is to pray. eeeks. cannot believe it o.O GRAHHH.

i'm still terribly shocked at those words, words that could have never come out from your mouth, words that doesn't fit your mouth either. words that hurt everyone who cares. it's kind of sad, maybe, long are the days gone. SHRUGSSSSS.

okay i'm now so frustrated (okay not SO, but quite) with life. seems like there is endless amount of things to do. and depleting amount of energy to do it.

because i once heard a voice, two points.


i successfully gotten 10 bucks of donation! HAHAHA. okay that sounds so pathetic. and some heartless people actually refused to donate to me initially, hurhur.

anyway, chma was boring and not boring. shall not elaborate, but i think the acapella group can REALLY REALLY sing good music! :D they're like so, pro(fessional). and yes we met AHEM and AHEM and novabelle too! i should have just skipped it because i didn't even manage to study SS at all during the weekend except for staying up to read texts from textbooks till midnight yesterday and surprisingly i wasn't even quite tired! HAHA.

so totally agree that live earth is just, so superficial. like look at the millions of bottles left behind after that, it's as though there's a concert for the sake of having a concert. boo?! anyway, remembered ms tan saying something about humans are selfish, the only reason why we're actually "saving the earth" is because it has some good benefits, e.g. cutting down costs of productions for various industries. bleah.

okay, it's gonna become a compo. off to watch css. makes me wanna sing. haha! :D


LIVE EARTH! WEAR YOUR GREEEENS :D

in fact, i'm quite amazed about my abilities. or rather, my abilities to screw up. i tried the higher chi paper yesterday in the lib with my deariest (okay some will know who HAHAHA) and i got 6/20 for the close passage, even though i didn't even read the passage properly ONCE, but still. hahaha.

the point is, i have been talking about HARRY POTTER since god knows when in school. and we're like guessing the ending. they say harry and the you-know-who will die. i say they will die but harry will have a son! HAHAHA :\ and got blasted because px was saying he's only 17, how to have son. LOL. and sara is the best as always, "where got time!" :\

anyway, huiyi moved away from me ): HAHA. no more bugging her in classes. it's all about hot air, hot wind, and the sun.

yesterday was anabella's happy day. MUAHAHA. ((:

somehow, i get all guilty when i go out, to play. anyway, i love bishan lib when it's all quiet and there's nobody, at like 7+++ cause the whole world is having their dinners! and i finished the math paper, and 4.5 chemistry worksheets! and all the mcqs of theeeee chinese paper. but my list for the weekend is so long. haha. random: the good thing about being in choir is that you can hold your breathes pretty well, so when a smoker sit beside you, you can literally stop breathing. yikes. >.<

YAYYY I READ FOUR CHAPTERS OF ORDER OF THE PHOENIX YESTERDAY! :D a great improvement since i've never got to finish the book, since 4 years ago, like oops?

i can't think of anything better to do. my voice is still like croaky when i sing to myself but then again i feel air inside my throat when i speak?! -.- but then again it's not pain or anything. SHOOOT.


it's all about forgiveness. if God can forgive us for whatever sins that we've committed in this lifetime, so can we forgive others. the thought just suddenly struck me. even though i am still complaining about the lost money and how could anyone be so reckless to actually steal 3 people's money within 50minutes, maybe from the person's point of view, there is really something so great about money huh?

yeah, so i have kind of forgiven the thief, just hope that whoever the person is will start to repent and not commit another sin again.
what is wrong, will always remain wrong, i believe everyone has their conscience.
search it.

on the other hand, reading chewy's blog gives me motivation, always!

and happy birthday JAMIE TAYYYYY <3


anyway, didn't go school today because i was totally stuck at home. the great thing is i got scolded for not waking up. righttttt. how ridiculous the world can be.

wear green during the weekends :D HAHAHA. which means i'm gonna go out with ldrs tee! LOL.

huiyi's got goooood and working brains to think that we need a goooood camera for graduation day and prom night! i should have just not want the party and ask for a camera for my bday ): i feel like shooting myself. hahaha.


thanks to tan yi rong's strawberry shampoo, my whole head smells like strawberry right now after my hot spring bath. back then, i used to adjust the heater to the max temperature, so that i get a hot bath. now, i bath with "cold water" which is the same temperature as my MAX last time. how has global warming harm the earth? alot.

i'm thinking of giving chma a miss but i've already bought my ticket and eileen will bite me if i don't go. but, there's just so much things going around. best of all, i lost my voice again. which explains the quietness and serenity everyone else enjoyed in class today. and it's one of those cases that i think i cannot even talk for ONE WEEK. how am i to survive man! so msn became my best friend and is gonna help me COMMUNICATE with the world. :D and i just won charis in POOL online (:

we played like 4 games or so yesterday and yay i finally played proper pool first time in my life (okay i sound deprived of fun). HAHAHA, that shall be the only and sole reason why i'd ever go back to dine at nyny :D if i'm tyco, huiyi is queen of pool man -.- GRAH. i'm so gonna buy a big house and have a pool table in my house! (fat hope)

i love pool, pool love me, we are one big family~ :\

losing my voice = cannot talk in class, cannot scream, cannot sing to myself in classes ): furthermore, the stupid nose is screwing me up so badly i think i kinda dozed off in phy lessons and he knows -.- gosh.

it's been a year, so long.


all humans have their own sets of principles. these sets of principles were set right from the very minute we're born. however, sometimes, somehow, we find ourselves breaking these very sets of principles laid out by ourselves. it is in such situations that we find ourselves stuck. the guilt for breaking these principles lies on. yet we know that we must do the particular thing no matter what, even if it means breaking our fundamental principles. no one is able to "abide by the rules", at least i think no one. sometimes, even the greatest person "plays foul". because life is such a game. rules, you mean.

you know, i've always liked the colour of the dusking sky. it's when the sun meets the moon, and suddenly pink and orange lights lit up the whole blue sky. the feeling is amazing. just looking at such a scene definitely calms whatever emotions one may have at that point of time down. yet such instants don't stay forever. they're present in all of our lives, yet our busy schedule takes us away from such luxuries. they're so rare, to some treasured, yet most don't realise these beauties in life.

some say that the most dangerous people in the world are people who have only read one book in their whole entire life. (book is just a term, not book, literally) because these people learn to judge the whole with all the thoughts from this particular book. if this book says it is right, it is forever right. if this book says it is wrong, it is forever wrong. how true it is. to some, the one book may be a person, an experience, a story or who knows really a book.

today was a great day out (: photos, everything. if time stayed still, i'd remain bloated for the rest of my day. haha.


sometimes i feel like i should be contented with everything around me,

tuition was okay, except some green nerd (inside joke :D) sat there and i couldn't sit in front zzzz. and i actually wrote 6 pages and 2 lines at the back where there is peace. muahaha. and soon, o's will be here and i'll be free of tuition!

nyny tomorrow! and i'm only 3/4 done with the present. sheesh. slow me.

i have to finish ss by tonight and hopefully find my eng file and read through everything. ahhh, >.<





i'm so happy cos i bought jamie liukun charmaine anabella yuyuan weekie julynn's presents :D

HAHAHA.