girl next door is it so hard to find someone who loves me for me?

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Sunday, January 27, 2008

& maybe our hearts will find their way, only heaven knows.


this week's been long!

anyway, happy birthday (belated) to xiangjing and kahwee! (: :D sorry that i didn't even eat the awfullychocolate (!!) cake on that day but yay 17! LOL. no more sweet sixteen!

anyway, thank God for his amazing grace.

to 6B, sorry for making you guys worry for me and irene throughout all this crap, but MY HEART IS WITH 6B MAN! :D :D thanks for the attempt to lure me and irene from class bench on thurs, for the card, the wishes and everything. really. and the YAYS and messages and calls<3
to you-know-who-you-people-are, thanks for everything, even when i started to cry like shit in hc and back in cedar. <3

-

TODAY was orientation day! played super sick games, ask me if you wanna know, esp the peanut one -.- cannot stand it. we are known as the CHEEKY GROUP! for some unknown reasons. HAHAHA. zhihui, me, lishan, yingting, ashton! LOL. our group cheer rocks!


i figured out i won't be blogging until a long time later. choir until 6 tomorrow, thurs..., fri will be choir again, and sat will be choir orientation and yay i can straight away go my grandma's house after that since it's so freaking near to hc. :D if i'm uncontactable on thursday, you know why. HAHAHA. okay, seems like my life revolves around choir. zzz.

had a heartful talk with irene today.

anyway, GP tutorial was totally -i have no words to describe it-. HAHA. we're gonna have some diagnostic test tomorrow like o.O feels so long since i last written in perfect english. and i think by math tutorial all of us were half asleep already! and the geog people have another geog tutorial until 2. so the chem ppl went to some place beside currywok (closed on tuesdays -.-) to eat! then we bought some angbaos and a mouse from coro. HAHA, if no one decorates their CT bench, 6B wins! (: LOL LOL LOL. YAH, WE WIN. LOL. our plan starts tomorrow :\ HAHA.




BANANA! :D :D :D :D


come what may.

jappy's right about the fact that i shouldn't get distracted any further.


i thank God for friends who are always there for me whenever i need them (:

today was like the official first day of school for us, even though last week was a breeze through various lectures. I CONCLUDED THAT 6B GOT FUNKY TUTORIAL TEACHERS! OMG! the math tutor has a personal webpage and he's from hc too and his math webpage is ULTIMATE PWNZZZ. xingyi was like dozing off during math. LOL. the econs tutor is damn funny and is from hc too and is gonna teach us econs in CHINESE! super funny can. and econs tutorial was quite fun, did some "building" of buildings on a piece of singapore map. LOL. i was like in the group w elson gerald guanyu and lingyong. 4 guys :\ LOL.

morning was like CT personal time, in the end 6B played polar bear AS USUAL! and elson as usual is so poor thing. and alot of us drank milk. HAHAHA. and played 8 beat givemetemporeadygo! i love 6B man! HAHAHA. we're a fun lot.

then we had EMO session with the EMO CLUB of 6B after school when we finished our lunch! :D LOL. so we just sat there and talk crap. irene was really emo man. LOL. >.<

and i love sop2s alot. HAHAHA. sop2s ooosh! :D we can do it, jiayou people! :D


as we answer to His call, His decree.

one of the times i hate about having commitments, you just can't escape from them. haha.

most of the times, what you see as truths won't be the truths but what you don't see beneath such truths, lies deeper thoughts.


had og outing yesterday! to the play HUNGRY? it was a kinda cheem play and no it's not a comedy at all, its kind of a literature play. and my contacts were like annoying me as much as jiayi's and weijie's did. HAHAHA. and it ended like super early and i was on this super rocky chair. but it ended like 8+. so yay! proven our "happybirthday" song to shimin every time we see her. HAHAHA. :D

before the play me xinyi jiayi sheena yngtyng lennis weijie alan and weipin (i think) went to eat chicken at coro zzzz! so harmful for throat, seriously. LOL. lennis as usual was suanned about jiayi cos he just never said she isnt his type :\ and the stupid bubble tea spilled on me and jiayi so my shirt was like pink and hers was like brown oh yay. LOL. tiongweijie is HOPELESS, seriously, everyone in 38 will agree with this statement. HAHAHA. me xinyi lennis and jiawei played frisbee while waiting for the rest but so sad jiawei cannot go. HAHAHA. lennis is damn pro at frisbee lah wth! -.-

then we went to kap and there were no seats and then they just anyhowed put all the small rectangular and round tables together and tada we blocked everyone's way but who cares. HAHAHA. didn't play polar bear though. LOL. just ate. i ate like the bottom bread of mchicken burger cos there was nothing else i could eat then yngtyng was just sitting there quietly and everyone thinks she's emoing.



ignore the date. :\ 38islove still! (: (:(:(: many many love. yay! can't wait till the next ogouting in school/shimin's house/cny/valentine's day! (: jevon was late so he's not in the pic but anyway, even though most of us were really tired and all i'm glad because it's 38's company that makes up for everything. had a damn random talk with yngtyng on 52 for damn long :D

anyway! wednesday 's ct dinner!




my lovely CT even though we are both chem and geog people! i think 6B is made up of very different personalities which all come together and makes a wonderful class (:

and HAHAHAA im so happy i can and am gonna dao bus 156 for the rest of my life so yipppppeeeyayyay! :D




change versus the unchanged.

sometimes it sucks just as much to be consciously aware of what's really happening around you. and when this happens, most of the time you can't really do anything about it, no matter how hard you try to try. i'm no longer derive joy from things that i enjoy so much last time, no longer become happy cos of certain things, there just seems so much to weigh me down.

choices are always the hardest. but often, there exists a huge gap between choices and wants and ability. and what's done cannot be undone, you just got to face it no matter what happens, no matter how much you try to run away from reality, 'cause this is life, such cruelty and brutality of it.


tutorials, tutorials, more tutorials and more lectures. HAHAHA. and of course more thumb games which i win with ONE and givemetemporeadygo and gosh we found our frisbee! (:

choir yesterday! was great! missed singing in a choir so much and i like the song lullaby soooo much but i'm in sop2. guess i'll still need time to adjust my hearing and singing since i can only hear sop1 all the time :\ but its damn cool. HAHAHA. ms lim was quite nice and yay i know some of the ppl in my section already and i remembered their names today when i saw them. HAHAHA. yay!

then we had ct dinner. YAY! bananas in the world unite! :D and the guys were like asking for extra rice. gosh. HAHAHA. and we took pics! yay! and dinner was quite nice. HAHAHA. mix! then we went back to school after procrastinating for damn long on where to go after trying to sit at this ulu place at coro plaza so we went to high sch, then to salt, then to swimming complex and started playing polar bear where elson died first for most of the games damn sabo! HAHAHA. and we're like outside this room where the alumni choir is so its like hear ghostly voices at night .LOL. whenever eileen is hunter/polar its damn obvious lah! so we left like 9+ and today everyone was like quite sian/tired? HAHA.


YAYYY TMR IS FIRST CHOIR PRAC!

AND YAY BECAUSE IT ENDS AT 6 SO ME AND XINGYI CAN MEET 6B FOR DINNER WHILE THEY PLAY POOL OR STH. YAY! :D

AND I RECEIVED A LETTER FROM MY ANGEL (FINALLY)!

AND WE HAVE A CLASS FRISBEE NOW! :D WHICH IS QUITE DENTED CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT IT'S ONLY BEEN LESS THAN A QUARTER OF A DAY!

AND WE ATE KFC! AND HAHA I WAS BEING SO MEAN TO JIAHAN TELLING HIM TO JIAN FEI BY NOT EATING :\

here's the funny thing, mingz suddenly talked about guanyu saying daryl is cute and he wanna turn gay. then i immediately went "omg seriously are you gay?" and i think guanyu got damn shocked. HAHAHA.

the meetthedirector thingy was sooo funny and sabo. LOL.

and 14 so far for this fri's drama play cum og outing cum supper. IM HAPPY. :D:D:D:D 38 rocks lah.


and it draws nearer and nearer, relighting this little fear in all of us.

was wondering how nice if we could all live our lives on impulse. its tiring to do things logically sometimes.

yay! JTS this weekend if things are okay with the seniors' side.

watched a funny HORROR movie today :\ one missed call. but i was so loser to still scream. i think even i am legend is scarier than this lah. let's hope i won't have nightmares today.

tomorrow is a super slack day with one lecture only. HAHAHA. gaomin eileen and minxuan have geog though. LOL. so much for suanning us about chem today tsks. :D


today was a fun and fulfilling day! :D

sermon was so great it hit the nail on many issues that has been bothering me.

and i ate my fav hor fun and its still as nice even sk and dg agrees!

and we did our tutorials and will be continuing with them tomorrow after sch.

but they gave up halfway so me and dg ended up watching videos and playing with internet explorer. HAHA.

and we ate dinner! yay! nice food. i ate so much rice and im going to eat my real dinner now. soph refuses to eat her egg while dg only likes cabbage while sk kana jacked by the chilli.

and we camwhored! soph's face is standard lah. and stop laughing at me. HAHAHA, im naturally innocent. (:

and we played ultra lame games and did right jerk left jerk !

and me and soph koped sk's icecream and ended up laughing like mad cow.

and we went popular cos i needed stationary for lectures this week!

IM A HAPPY PIG. HAHAHA.

-
but maybe behind the curtains, everything gets blown away by the gushes of wind.
i can't stop thinking, can't stop thinking about what happens if i lose all i have now, can't stop thinking what's gonna happen to us, can't stop doubting if i'm making the right and sane choices. yeah, maybe i just lack that much confidence in myself. it's no use trying to tell myself i've done my best because i've never really tried my best for anything my whole life, it's always "i could have done better" but actually by the end of the day who really knows. but my faith tells me that no matter what happens, God will be there watching over all of us.

and all will come to an end soon, i hope.
if not i'll personally draw an end to it.


i'm like super motivated to work super hard this year and work on my priorities and allow no screw ups and to manage my time real properly and balance out my life including schoolwork, church and spending time with my many beloveds.


YAY I KNOW I CAN DO IT!
:D

that's why im going to mug and learn partial fractions TODAY! :D im so proud of myself. HAHAHA.

it's time.

there're somethings in life, once you missed it, you can never bring them back no matter how much you weep and cry and regret. once you missed it, your whole life will change. it's as if such things are roadsigns in your life, they are supposed to serve the purpose of guiding you on your walk of life, but once you miss these signs you can only go straight because there's no turning back. then perhaps one day we'll all look back and go "eh why am i so stupid" to have wasted so much petrol (time and energy) making detours in life.

but sometimes we all need such detours, don't we?

it's ironic how human relationships work. there're some people whom you can click with the instant you talk to them, but there're also some people whom you just can't communicate with even if you spend your whole life trying.

yesterday's sermon was o m g. thank God i decided to go church. it's just amazing to see how truths work, and how prophecies are made true cos God is almighty. reminds me of what the pastor said during raincamp! the stars, galaxies and all, and be able to witness it yourself.

let go and let God<3


B IS FOR BANANA! :D
and B is for 08S6B! :D
HAHAHA!
we won the tshirt design thingyy organised by marigold(HAHA) even though we totally covered all their prints on the shirt with white paint. LOL. $200 ntuc voucher, for JTS. HAHAHAHA. jkjk. was saying that we can have 1 yr supply of cup noodles with that! LOL.
skit was OMG don't ever talk to me about it. no face already. HAHAHA. but anyway campfire was damn nice and shiok and fun yesterday even though it rained but still i think its like one of the best campfires i ever attended lah. good thing was that 6B was standing tgt swaying and all when we're singing and dancing so yayyyye! (: and in the hall was like u hear everyone go either A-A-A-A-RES, A-A-A-THE-NA, why are we so pro we are apollo buttttt NYEHHH XP AR-AR-AR-TE-MIS! :D:D:D:D WOOO.
war games was WAR. HAHAHA. people were like damn hiong and all and i hate mud, my leg's having rashes AGAIN thanks to mud water cos i keep crawling under the benches and this time my whole leg gg. but starch pool was fun. LOL. after war games was freaky cos me and xingyi got lost from 6B and we had no phones/whatsoever so we just like searched every possible spot in the sch for them. zzz >.<
im beginning to think im really lucky to be in 6B cos everyone's so nice! :D
then we went for prata and everyone was like shocked that i stayed in sengkang cos there's like no bus and obviously i dunno how to go home. HAHAHA. there's this snr who ate like 7 pratas -.- we played bridge and stuff and yeah quite fun lah. :D

BANANANANANANANANANANAAS! :D


I MISS 38! ): i wonder how far we can go.

read blogs and my thoughts got spinned off again. its not as if i don't wanna think about it, but i have no position to decide for myself what kind of life i wanna lead in hc. afterall, its only 2 weeks till we'll know. i think PAE is a sucky thing, why must we even go through it, they should have realised what kinda emotional distress it will bring to us students right. zzzzz.


ARGHHHH. im having post-OG symptoms! ): was talking to tag lennis and sheena online. I WANT 38 BACK ):

ruiwen! said:
i want outing
yujie says:
lol
yujie says:
i shall
yujie says:
make it happen

HAHA. YAYE!

anyway, today was such a shit day after 3pm which is not worth talking about. i don't believe myself anymore man. seriously. i just hope for the best man. want to take this out of my mind, but i just can't no matter how much i want to. yeah, im so glad i didn't break down in school or something if not people will just think i'm so emo freak. and its really not your fault or anything >.<

08S6B for the first time today! :D i think we've got great people, like quite nice and friendly and some funny. but i think today's like stone mode, probably cos we're like separated from our ogs and stuff. i can't believe what we're gonna do lah for the 5-10min skit/whatever. LOL. first break was like 5peopleCT bonding cos the rest were like gone in no time. as usual, the qianbian games. LOL.

og outing ytd was funnnn! even tho we were like SUPER hungry cos the food didn't come until near 9. and we heard so many ghost stories lah, still go on high school tour. LOL. xinyi was like telling shimin to keep checking if she's there. xD


classes are out! am happy that most of my loves are in artemis :D except for a few like char charis blah blah.

og dinner was way cool. we're like the last people to leave hc please. LOL. :D i love 38. was telling xinyi how much i wished this was our CT and she too. but. you'll never always get your way out in life hur. we got 4th! :D



i hate math. it sucks when you don't know anything and ppl know everything. yiming can become a motivational speaker man. tsks.

okay im so lazy but i shall edit this tomorrow.

letting go is a good thing. holding on is another. what was about eternity?

its high time to get my priorities right.


i guess the past week has probably been too high, which explains my mood now. grah. i hate irregularities seriously, esp mood swings. suddenly you just don't have to mood to do anything because of something that triggered it and this sucks big time. i feel like i have always been transparent. haha. and i'm like wondering what will tomorrow be like. the timetable couldn't be any sadder after 5pm. i don't know. you know it's like when we're all playing frisbee yesterday on the slightly coarse sand, i suddenly recognise strange faces around me. yes, people i've known for barely a week, yet like shimin says, everyone in 38 is different in their own way, we're made up of cute people. <3

i hate it the way like this
so tell me you won't leave.


was 38's first outing yesterday, other than the dinner aside! HAHAHAHA. gosh we said to meet at 12PM at the mrt there but i was already in eunos at like 1130 i thought im gonna be SOOO early until i saw yngtyng and lennis and others on the opposite train! so we stoned and waited for them and posed for spastic pictures to make the rest feel guilty and they're all late because everyone is waiting for jiayi. LOL. -.-

yay anyway so we took a bus there and walked to ecp and dabao-ed macs and was stoning under the hot sun under a bbq pit eating and talking crap! and after stoning for a long time we FINALLY rent bikes but failed to bargain with the shopkeeper so yeahhh. rode to jetty and LOL 3ppl went missing. HEHE! :D played ALOT of polar bear yesterday oh gosh but its such a nice game and then dg came and then we continued playing polar bear and before we knew it rained like siao so we went to some shelter and xinyi's mascara was falling off cos not waterproof.

and it rained so we cycled back to the bike shop after stopping twice. and went to macs and played more polar bear before shimin and company joined us. HAHAHAHA! dinner was like at marine parade. GOSH. we saw some hc ppl at ecp too. LOL. dunno what og. anyway, i think we're like so diao-ed, one moment from RJ one moment from VJ. HAHAHA! :D BLAH, and today half of 38 was sunburnt. LOL. all red lobsters >.<

i dropped my fav star earring in audi today. BLEAH. and didn't manage to find it. BLEAH. arghhh.

intro lectures were boring. HAHAHA. dg didn't make it better by dao-ing my sms during the intro lectures. see pig, still say you dun like to dao people. LOL. physics was a sure goner. i wonder ALOT now why the hell did i take physics, shld just go for CSC lah! zzzz.

tomorrow?


you know, i can't imagine how me and charis were talking about how much we'd love hwachong, perhaps even more than cedar. but cedar is different in a different way. somehow the fear of school just got wiped out by the first day of school, ironically.

i can't say how much we love 38! (: leo was telling me about how his group won all 5 games for the first day of og games, but i was like oh sheesh it doesnt matter cos 38 really puts in alot alot alot of effort for our games :D

and todayyyy, was made up of the history talk which i think the video was quite touching. HAHAHA. but the others were like okay im gonna zonk out any moment cos im really tired and my contacts weren't helping and i always seem like im crying excessively. HAHAHA. and jiayi was saying she was sitting outside the audi most of the time? HEHE :D

games were fun today! except for the last game which is like WTHHHHHH draw because the game didn't even start ): HAHAHAHAHA but nevermind i think 38 had fun! :D:D the whoosh game was so hiong lah! HAHAHAH, and my shin is like dead now. LOL. can't even walk without pain zzzz. ouch. AHHHH. and dance was damn funny. i bet everyone din get the taptaptaptap part, so, when it comes we'd all start laughing and chant TAPTAPTAPTAP and laugh. LOL.

OHOHOH. OG DINNER :D sheesh, to avoid the crowd we went to yujie's house. HAHA. some 18 of us? not sure. around there. yeah, which is like out of civilisation to me cos its like in what STILL ROAD? hahaha. but the pizza arrived before us. LOL. then we played super lame games like johnny woosh and black magic and bang bang and talked crap and made shimin farted 10million times. HAHA! and yayyy, 38 is gg to ECP (okay, someone said its some expressway LOL)on sun! :D

ten years down the road,
we will still be here to see one another.
tho' things may not be the same,
we will still be friends forever.
- from some song we learnt ytd.

<3


YAYYYYE! orientation, jumpstart 08! :D

yesterday was like, filled with so many talks -.- but am glad i listened to the bio and physics one because i have for the 3rd time changed my combi and it's back to pcme now and im so thankful for the bio talk which makes me think that i hate molecular bio ALOT, even though i like human body chapters and stuff, cos i cannot stand viruses and bacteria and whatsoever. HAHAHAHA, char is like gloating secretly i bet. cos huiyi is actually for once hesitant about BIO (: anyway, the talks were really boring until the point that i really wanna knock off -.-

YAYE! but OG38 makes everything better :D i think its a great OG, considering that ppl were enthu on the first day but i was actually damn scared when i was walking alone to the OG at the back of the hall lah >.< like really LUBDUBLUBDUB damn fast (eh, bio -.- LOL)but ahhhh, i love the songs and cheers and our ogl. HAHAHAHA. i kana tricked by her lah -.- and of course the og people itself :D:D:D

if i ever get kicked out of hc after 2months++++ im just gonna zzz seriously. its like the best choice i ever made in my whole life except for the choice of going to cedar. HAHAHA!

today started off with some super boring talk. and more boring talks. LOL. but the sci enrichment prog thingyy made me feel for the first time that taking o's is a waste time money and resources and my brain cells >.< and some person actually ponned it, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D

the dance session was fun but i cannot do the turn thing for nuts. omg. HAHAHAHA. i think everyone is getting pecek at me already. LOL. shimin showed me like a thousand million times but i still cannot get it. HAHA! and jiayi's hands are like super duper cold. but omgosh im starting to think i can zihigh alot, the songs :D esp dan ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui :D LALALALALALA. its chao nice, then everyone jump together!

games was funkkkkkkkkkkky! :D the first game was quite nice but it destroyed our scoresheet paper cos it was a wettttttttttt game and we had the dance i/cs and i actually said dance was not nice, in order to get splashed. LOL. but we won anyway! won 3 times out of 5, tied 1, lost 1 which until now i bet nobody in 38 figured out why we lost anyway but it was great fun :D with mud, grass, water, and may suggested ants in our hairs. LOL! :D

OH OH. we had og lunch! 38 is love man. HAHAHAHAHA. i bet 38 is the one and only who had og lunch. and sheena helped me eat my food. tsks!

anyway, morning was freaky. cos i see no charis waiting for me. so i walked into the canteen alone, and saw huiyi sitting alone. and saw leo and ym but daoed them and there was no youth for christ in the end. tsks. cos was raining. hmmmm. and we were figuring out how to wear the hc badge then realised our button is the opposite way from hc uniform so next time we would prob have DAMN ALOT OF TROUBLE trying to button cos its a diff way altogether. so we're like stuffing the dangling thingy into our buttons and yay, i got a non dangling badge now.

and i took 1hour to reach home! compared to an hour20min yesterday and 156 is total shit man. but today was siaozzz, took bus to change to 153 and change to mrt at serangoon and change to lrt. HAHAHAHAHA. was like whining to huiyi in 156 ytd like "wahlao shld have gone rj" for fun. but no, LOL, die also won't leave hc i guess.

YAY! tmr, more games and prob og dinner? :D HAHAHA. 38 !


one year, so long.

they say today is yesterday's tomorrow. but yesterday seem so far away, till the extent that we now refer it as "last year". and yesterday seems to hold so much memories, fun, and laughter so dear. yet yesterday seems so distant, torturing, so not easy.

you know it's like, 2007 just flew past JUST LIKE THAT. perhaps it was mostly mugging, but sure we all have our share of fun. chinesenewyear house visiting, cny lunch w 4m, valentine's day, good friday, syf07<3, holiday outings, my birthday party, racial harmony day, 50laps@cedar, prelims(yay 4m pwned like shitxzxz LOL), and o's. LOL. i hope i've summarised all the major events in cedar. and how can i forget, OAC07 which lasted for two days thanks to ______ but OALS07<3."I can do all through Christ who gives me strength", and thank God for the wonderful teachers and friends who are always so supporting, for my family, everything.

priorities, and eternity.

watchnight was cool yesterday! :D i like the lighting candles part. it may seem like a small act, but it seems like a whole huge significant meaning to me, especially when friends light up your candle. and if the candle represents your life, kinda signifies how friends are always there to light up your life and everything, bring joy laughter sadness tears. and the countdown was so loud and fun and yay, sparkles<3 :D felt like a kid again!

AND OH MY GOSH, can't believe sk didn't have a slightest clue about what's happening today. YAYE. wahlao, i still miss that strawberry shortcake! but sk likes choc, so yeah. HAHAHA. leo is like so poor thing, LOL. but yay, i think we turned soph's house upside down for a minute. LOL. the spraycan thingyy. and hooch. HAHAHHA! yay i know how to spell it now.

actually, i'm scared like shit for tomorrow. ah bleah, sometimes i ask myself, so what?

ruiwen! says:
HAHHAHAA
ruiwen! says:
nights!
ruiwen! says:
dream of me
just all we have, says:
hope not.
just all we have, says:
DON"T WANT NIGHTMARE
just all we have, says:
kk byee

charistoh is always the best. see what i mean ! HAHA.


new year, new beginnings.

maybe, maybe not so.