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Monday, March 31, 2008

或许这样就够了。


i think i'm becoming more like my cousin, in the bad way. LOL. the issue is no longer about if it's worth it, but rather i can't help it.

twin is dao-ing me on msn wth HAHA.

i await for tomorrow night to come when i can finally breathe some air.

anyway, i procrastinated so long and finally decided to go for service yesterday. sometimes, we all don't have the easy way out to things in life, neither had Jesus.

then was attempting to mug at kfc :\ LOL, can't be helped i honestly and seriously need a decent grade so that i can fill in that application form !@#%^& koped cheese fries from yaohui ah i should have just bought myself if not for the fact that there's dinner at home -.- i think jonsoh is like freaking out over econs test but so am i. rahhhh.

if only time can be self-created. actually, it can.

we all try too hard to take everything into our control.


BREAKFAST BRAWLLLL! HAHA. MY STRAWBERRY DONUT! LOL.


the malt drink >.<



so 07 and 08 ate like 6 boxes and had this left. and we wanted to give it to mrlee and he thought it was empty -.- LOL.



yay, how nice if there was breakfast in school everyday HAHA.
:D


note: this picture was taken on a slope! which accounts for the seemingly big height differences. HAHAHAHA :D
pubcomm is so sizzling hot we pose like supermodels in making. LOL.




and we jump like jumpers! HEH.




sometimes, no amount of words can explain things you want to explain. which explains this. perhaps twin was right in saying that i think too much and i really shouldn't make a simple thing become so complicated. complexity sucks big time.

if only life was solely about doing the things your heart really wants to do. but let's face it, it always isn't. everyone sacrifices something for another thing, no?

i think i'm getting more intolerant i always feel like punching people at their faces.

yeah, and the intensity is building up.


and this is it WITH A BIG BIG FULLSTOP.

we all know j1 isn't a year for us to play yeah. i still can't get over the fact that i FORGOT there is a math class test today and i only found out or rather, remembered it 50minutes before the test so hmmm wow. i didn't even bring my gc lah zzz.

yeah i know i rock!

now i'm going to memorise choir scores by heart!

It's that hard to empty my mind and stop worrying.


到现在才发现，有些事情是不需要原因的。因为原因纯粹只有一个，而一切就是这样地简单。


i'm like eating honeydew sago now! finally, after my craving since sunday.

and yay i'm so looking forward to tomorrow.

jiaying says:
can lah! only have physics and PW and err maths i guess?
jiaying says:
and chem! oh yeah haha
jiaying says:
but chem im not planning to do all leh ahha
ruiwen! says:
ONLY!!!!


the power of chai :\


math lecture was so zi high even eileen bursted out laughing! the lame part: i was dismantling the green straw heart i was like " i broke my own heart!" and i just kept laughing for the whole 1 hour or so. bleah, the effect of not doing chem tutorial, or rather not finishing it. :\

anyway did i mention sunrises in hc are so pretty. the red beams amongst the light faded blue sky, seemingly pinkish in colour. it is nothing but an everyday phenomenon, so simplistic, yet so symbolic. it does nothing but represents the beginning of a wonderful day, which was why i felt so happy and bouncy in the morning. and prayer meeting was damn good! :D just that i slided down the slope leading down to the bball courts -.- my shoes sucks big time luh -.-

even if i can fool myself. hmmm. i've always thought those were enough, but it seems they were never enough. i fear, alot.


yay, cedar alumni tomorrow! :D hopefully the practice will be fruitful? if not everyone's efforts (to travel to geylang bahru LOL LOL holding site) will be wasted big time.

i'm like super super super sad now. it feels like this whole thing has been a joke and someone's playing a prank on me. ARGH! ): only twin knows why! HAHA. :\ sometimes i don't even know what is all this for, i don't know if it's real. so what if it is and so what if its not. i've used up all my luck i won't be so lucky for this round.

jiayou, rioHC<3 as we go on a vertical curve with steep gradient, heh ._.

its going to be 10 and i haven started on chem tutorial yet and the gp worksheet. LOL.

good game.

so if they say life's a game?


Was telling Sophia, recently I've been thinking that the existence of Time is such an amazing thing. Through Time, pain can be healed and generated, love can be found and forgotten, memories can be kept and lost. There's fun, joy, laughter, sadness in everything we do 'cause there's Time. Yet Time always manages to slip away without anyone's notice. It is so intangible you can't hold on to it no matter how much you want to do so. But when Time is lost, everything else is lost too.

Listening to: Is it you? - Cassie


In loving memory of He who gave his life for us.
'Cause I'll never know how much it costs, to see our sins upon that cross.

Went for physics consult in the morning together with Xingyi, Elson, Zijie. Ah, it was so productive it owns all the tutorials put together. :\ Irene couldn't come down to study with us because somebody became a roasted pig and can't move. LOL! >.< Then me and Xingyi attempted to go penang kitchen to eat but they don't have the set meals on sats so we walked back to coro and argh i will never wear slippers to school and walk on that stretch of road again. MY TOE NAIL GOT CHIPPED OFF LIKE ZZZZ! Then saw Yaohui at coro and he die also want to go home to change -.- LOL.

Easter service! I was almost late but thank God 151 came in time. The play was not bad though. HAHAHA. I always have quite overwhelming feelings whenever I see that video. It's just very very emotionally provoking. But it does serves as a very important reminder I guess. We owe what we have to Him! 27 salvations today. HAHA. Luckily I didn't freeze although the aircons were all facing me hehe. Then went for dinner at QiJi and Sophia was eating like a mad pig and steal my salty like siao ikan bilis somemore! LOL.

Ahhhh if I can pass physics on mon I'd be super happy already. Like what Lennis said, my concept is super bad even though I can handle the calculations part of it. ): And I'm gonna dao all my tutorials and chiong on Mon night. Hopefully I would be able to catch some sleep that night man. The ultimate consequences of piling up your work in a bad attempt to study physics when all I do is to slack, there's really nothing much to do and I just don't have the motivation to go back to what I used to be. I guess it really isn't good looking back.

And all I can do, is to wait.

Listening to: If - SNSD (Taeyeon)


i was so bored i began running various tunes that come to my mind on the piano they all sound peaceful to me. a pity my heart's not in a state of peace.

也许时间是一种解药, 也是我现在正服下的毒药.


today is good friday!

HAHAHA okay i'm supposed to be studying physics now but the fact that i'm here shows that i'm giving up on it as usual and physics sucks big time. :O

anyway forgot to mention how PRO elson is in bowling, he spins balls that goes into the drain like they're free balls like seriously -.- and then there was this time xingyi just kept having multiples of 9 as her score and i had multiples of 6! LOL. then 6B was deciding where should we have dinner and we were at the street directory and i was closing my eyes and scrolling my fingers through then someone would say "stop!" then xiangjing eventually realised i wasn't having dinner with them and he went like "aye then why are you deciding our dinner!" LOL >.< irene was like starving big time i guess. HAHAHA.

then fac cip. the uncle made zijie and elson buy the poles, come back, wrong size, went back again, come back, too long, so we went back again, ask the uncle to help us saw, went back, finally! something like sha made mr lee run on an errand for him on the other side? HEHE! seriously, win already. and ah, bridge! :D i think clement is damn pro at it. but tianning is pro-er in action! she didn't even lose like any of the games like >.< then i went crazy and bid until 5 and guanyu was like eyes wide open, of shock.

and the good and bad thing now is that my mum just plucked out one of her tooth so she's like in super great pain all she does is to stone at the sofa. bad because she's in pain, good because she can't scream at me for being online late in the night :\

im thinking if i should go for physics consult tomorrow. haha.

chai is so lame i need to laugh, big time!

jiaying says:
haha JIAYOU MANN
jiaying says:
then what are you doing still talking to me!
ruiwen! says:
i cannot stand doing physics
ruiwen! says:
LOL
jiaying says:
then sit lah! : D
ruiwen! says:
omg
ruiwen! says:
U DAMN LAME!

GRAH! >.<


i'd always had the power to underestimate many things around me. till the point when sometimes i don't know if it's good or bad..

anyway, fac cip was good in a way :D at least we found a unit after we got ditched by the 2nd floor unit. thank God for that! :D the power of prayers. haha. and ah, bowling! clement was good despite him being crippled and yeah i love to throw balls. LOL. >.< and i got a pair of green earrings totally on impulse.

this feeling's killing me. did i mention that i both hate and love suspense alot?


then again, nobody really knows.

HAHA! had a super funny time trying to relate renice's grandpa and renice and sherry's relationship :D ahhh, big day tomorrow! HAHA, i can't stand it i'm like super dead between lessons now did i mention how laxing the previous math lecture was? all i did was to stone there and wait for the lecturer to finish and i packed up even before she ended but i did all the examples lah, still, lol -.- i'm going crazy big time.

choir banner's size and quality pwns all the campaigning banners lah HAHAHAH! :D david was super evil to me even though im super evil too i suanned like the whole pubcomm<3 HAHAHA. it went like this

"eh from far okay what"
david "everything looks nice from afar, even your face"

WTH WTH WTH WTH -.-

and i love ham! HAHAHAHAHAHA. hamhamhamhamham!(taro) HAHA.

oh yeah i got a new found twin yesterday !@#@$%( imba like crap, but made me realise that i'm really slow.

easter and good friday! :D


its scary how certain things shock you so unexpectedly and leave your thoughts there hanging and argh, i hate this feeling. maybe, i've been too insensitive to things that's happening around? >.<

today was such an emotionally rollercoaster ride i don't even want to think about it, it'll only make me sadder.

mini og gathering, LOL, so random was like telling tag i passed my gp then xinyi came along then jiayi came along. ah, 38! :D now i'm like talking to lennis over msn hahaha over a super LOL topic i'm gonna burst out laughing soon.

yay stj soon, soon!

walk by Faith.


how often do people's paths cross without them actually realising?


back from visiting lin lao shi with chenyang and christopher.

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT I AM IN RJ WITH THE TWO OF THEM. -.- and i can't believe cy is in hp taking ki. LOL. i miss chinese tuition man! ): haha i think in 3 months time i will forget how to write chinese altogether. i don't even know how to write "qian4" ! like qian4 qian2 huan2 qian2 LOL.

/edit

and school's reopening tomorrow. somehow i do dread it a little, if march holidays were longer we could have more choir outing! HAHA! ): sadly, it ends here. yadada, all the "honeymoon period is over" talk. no more late night chats on msn about random things on earth like even pokemon LOL LOL. >.<

shadows will zoom pass at an increasing speed per day, it's all too little too late.

sometimes i wonder what lies behind those strong fronts.
one day we'll tear them down, and let the paper faces on parade.

The impression returned of Infinity and Eternity walking hand in hand; you only had to look for one of them, for example, the limitless universe, to feel the presence of the other, Time that never ends, that never passes, that remains in the Present, where all of life's secrets lie.


i don't have the guts yeah. i should just bang the wall and disappear from this earth. LOL.


HAHA, i'm totally addicted to this super nice book (veronika decides to die, paul coelho) and i'm dao-ing all my work just to finish it. and then i'm gonna finish reading my super thick book and start on the alchemist. i think my eyesight will deteoriate badly since i have a fetish for lying on my bed to enjoy the books. :\

okay, back to them. HAHAHA. i feel a cough coming up but, heck.

No one, should let themselves get used to anything.


stepup two was super good, but i like stepup better. LOL >.<

shien house is super cool, and the food. HAHAHAHA. cheese pancake and shilbe's sushi (the point is that her mum made it HAHHA LOL) and his house has the k system which is super shiok imagine your house is at kbox! and this wii thing which ran the high sch musical "game" as you call it, rates your singing and both me and joelynn got A :D that mad girl actually sang FABULOUS. LOL! :D and then we watched ratatueoeoeoie (how you spell it HAHA). we waited for people for one whole hour please! LOL. then jean walked passed.

then mugging session was quite a failure but nevertheless we had fun. and i m NOT a chipmunk. oh my gosh.

this was how i spent my march hols :D

banner painting!






pang tries to act like a supermodel -.- HAHA.



sops sops sops sops yay!



see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil :D



@ river valley.

we are rioHC! :D:D:D:D:D
-

sometimes, life's an irony itself.


i wished i could read people's minds. a pity, no one could.


i'm so glad it happened, that we didn't give up, that we pulled it off, as a batch :D
and that the many hardwork put in for the banner is totally worthed it all, when we all proudly saw the banner (DAMN CHIO LAH HAHA!:D) raised up.

it's just the beginning.

in darkness we stand, hand in hand.

this is so funny i must blog about it, i was sharing the umbrella with joelynn, then walter randomly said, "umbrella, eh eh eh eh ..." LOL :\

that fair bit of camwhoring, haha!



presenting my new love. AIN'T YOU JEALOUS. :DDDDDDDDDDDD i love pub comm ALOT! even though jiamin eats alot, even though yingting loves camwhoring alot, even though david cannot sew for nuts, even though yongquan is so gay he sings exact pitch as us for e.g e.g liang jing ru's songs, even though shilbe has self obsession (look at her cam HAHAHA) ahhhhhhhh! >.<



somehow, it feels empty tonight.

/edit
got reminded of junjie's ultimate pouting face -.- LOL, classic.


we'll know in no time to come.
our first as a batch.

there can be miracles, when you believe.

to say i'm not abit worried at all, i'm lying. but i guess we're all taking those tiny little steps towards making good music. even these tiny steps may amount to almost nothing at times, i still believe they'll come together and make a big difference. it may be naive thinking, but hey there're practical actions behind them. and i want to stick to this believe.
let choir change all of us.

that aside, had a nice ranting convo online yesterday. :D rants are good for health. haha.

and yay, class outing to watch stepup2!!


i'm totally in love with the song cai hong now. :D its super super nice please! and coincidentally, it reflect one of the question i asked the rest on on sun morning, as in 3+ 4+ am. if you were to choose a way to leave this world, would you tell your loved ones and friends and spend your remaining days with them, or if there's just a way where you can hide your death from them foever (somehow, its a hypothetical question!), which would you choose?

obviously since it's an emo song, the guy chose to leave the girl, but she found out in the end. HAHA! when i saw the mv i was like o.O so coincidental! :D

we know how to love because God first loved us.


being the only daughter sucks because you have got to set up your own internet connection without any help. WTH! my dad came home and gave me a MIO thingy and i'm stuck for 2 hours before wireless finally works -.-

and now i can't install msn messenger -.-

GRAH! >.<

anyway, it's always good to have different people reminding you that you have to do work and get it done with.
random motivation. HAHAHA. :D
this is such a bad way to start off the march hols when i'm still quite tired even though i finally slept. which was why i didn't exactly talk alot yesterday.

i just hope tomorrow will be great, if not i don't wish to think any further either. and yay jiayou banner painting and pubcomm and everybody! :D

Love the Lord with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength. Deut 6:5
and let go and let God.

i wish you understood, but you'll never.


haha, i finally woke up after not sleeping for nearly 40 hours, i think i'm becoming superwoman seriously. but my voice is kind of gg now. okay nevermind let's hope that by tomorrow i'll be fine during the prac and i'll still have voice for wednesday's performance!

bandage was quite cool! saw alot of unexpected people and yay yingting gave me a squashy hug haha i think we're both mad already. in the end they got 2nd but i think their original song totally rocks! :D then we went hongkong cafe to eat and the cheesy beef bake rice was super super super super nice.

so we went back to church and started playing lame games like the coin shooting game which was like girls+ernie vs the guys using 50cents and 1dollar coins! yeah basically we were all trying very hard not to sleep but jonsoh slept through the night lah HAHAHA. and there was this super reflective/emo talk, whatever you call it, in the middle of the night which was quite cogitating. then me and soph fell asleep and i was like semiconscious 'cause i could hear sheena's phone playing jie kou when i'm asleep! HAHA! woke up like half zombies and went for breakfast at the market and came back and sheena and dg had to go for ushering. then played this super spastic tempo game up to 12 beats(!!) with yaohui and i was zihighing half the time.

then it was phy tuition and huangcheng. GOSH, 6B guys cannot be trusted man. i was the earliest there, and then all the girls came and we waited 30min for the rest of them? elson was the best, came while we're eating halfway. SERIOUSLY -.- HAHA. i can't believe that mineral water can actually be out of stock but it happened. LOL. irene and yuyue was wearing similar shirts with a tie in front! oh then we're at cityhall mrt when we saw joelynn and she was wearing her 2.5inch heels like o.O hahaha i don't want to stand beside her anymore but i'm still taller LOL LOL. it was quite nice lah, the show, i must say the actors are really really good and entertaining. just that i was dozing off here and there. ): yay, stepup2 with 6B! :D

anyway, my laptop doesn't have internet access now and i don't want to leech people's network and everytime i try to install my modem it shuts down, stupid vista -.- have thousands of documents to transfer over :\ so dead.

-

有了勇气，才能继续下去
it feels as if the whole world is crashing down on you.
just to many aspects of it all.
i wish that i don't believe in all those, 'cause i still believe that certain things are just as simple as that.


it is not where you are from, it is where you are at.
step up 2

haha irene's blog is such a source of motivation! i guess she's right. it is really time to get serious. when o1's over, you tell yourself that hey you may not even stay in hc, so it's totally alright to slack off. when o2's over, you tell yourself that you still need time to adapt to your surroundings and mentally prepare yourself to settle down. when march holidays is over, everything becomes a constant, you tell yourself there's just no more excuses anymore. i seriously hope that it's a post-o's syndrome and that it will wear off soon. HAHA!

AND OH MY GOSH! >.< the frozen strawberries from mos burger is like super super duper duper nice! :D its super sour yet sweet, cold and chilling, makes your whole mouth and brain freeze totally! :D makes me feel super 幸福 when eating it! LOL. :D

i think march hols will be gone in a breeze! sat's cellbonding and bandage (yaye im going!) sun's phy tuition in the morning and recuperation period for lack of sleep and huangcheng. mon to wed is choir<3 and our very first performance as j1batch! :D JIAYOU PEOPLE! we can do it! and thurs onwards will be mugging days! sat will be YA! and sheesh, school starts again and yay will get to see 6b again, everyday. HAHA!



what is the world without friends whom you know you can always count on? :D


与其说你变了，不如说我从一开始就根本不了解你

today was such an eventful day, with pe and dear physics lecture+lab, and choir and recee all packed in one day!

okay this is super ZZZ but i must blog about it. ZHIHUI IS FREAKING PRO IN PHYSICS. was in LT3 discussing with yongquan some stuffs about pub comm and then i realised after half the lecture has passed that zhihui was behind and while we're still at 1.1 he already done all the examples until 3. ++ ? GAYZXXXZZX. nevermind! found FOC physics tuition in the upcoming days! AHAHAHAH. jiayou to two of them man, ilp finale! :D how pro is pro.. HAHA!

i realised that i like seeing the serious side of everyone. it's just nice, admist all the crankiness you immerse yourself in daily without fail. as the days goes by, i'm loving silences, even awkward silences more and more.

i can't stand the way you think you're so great and so what if i'm not? it doesn't give you any authority to do this, does it?

as long as our hearts are into it, rioHC<3 we can make it! :D yes it's a long journey ahead, but i'm prepared to pour in my soul into rioHC.

today i knew, it's right.

recee was ultimate! :D though its kinda heartwrenching seeing the vast difference of living conditions of people from different walks of life. argh! >.< okay, anyway, HAHA, elson and renice actually knows japheth! gosh. HAHAHA.


scales was a major flop. jazz became my best piece surprisingly :\ thanks for the goodluck and jiayou wishes and sms-es(even though i asked for some of them haha) :D but still i think the most i will get is 110 but oh well AS LONG AS I PASS! and good luck to charis this friday! :D

i did math tutorial until i fell asleep! okay, this is karma man >.< what's up with math tutorials. zzz! i shall not procrastinate and will try to finish it by 6.30 so i can work on econs and chem and phy tutorials soon in an attempt to maximise my enjoyment of the march hols by clearing everything. HOHO!

itfairitfairitfair!

so i'll say a little prayer
and hope my dreams will take me there

if i may ask, why does everything seem so bleak out of a sudden? sometimes its as if going back to your childhood days, life's been new and entertaining, yet with a touch of unfamiliarity with the surroundings.


today was such an insightful day! i can officially say goodbye to emo-ness! :D a big thanks to those who really have been talking to me alot about this whole choir and council dilemma :D

haha joelynn made me feel super grateful that i have such wonderful cellmates right here in hc :D brothers and sisters in Christ! really.

and yes i've turned into a bad girl i stopped doing my tutorials.


my bag is found :D just that some items are lost but still, thank God.



she wasn't such an indecisive person. she was so clear about her directions in life, but now, no longer.


hahaha. service today was about discipline. before that i went to soph's house after making my new ezlink (HAHA CAN SHOW PEOPLE ALR. ITS NOT UGLY ANYMORE) and got new stationary. cell discussion was super funny esp when jonsoh asked how do you know if she's the one. and the stupid egg lizard gorilla game! LOL. and sk and yaohui were like talking about ATHENA throughout dinner! HAHA! i feel damn inspired seriously.

i got like a thousand million things to replace! :\ which includes redo-ing tutorials ssss -.-

anyway i think i'm feeling alright towards the whole incident already. whatever it is, it happened. good learning point for the fac cip, ALWAYS STARE AT YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS! do not end up like me. on the bright side, if this thing can actually make people freak out, its better than having more than 1 person lose their stuffs on fac cip day itself.

okay im still sad but im emotionally stable. at least i won't cry over it anymore. yeah this sounds stupid.

piano exam on tues! i seriously hope my last minute practice will pull me through this. since it worked well for the past 6 times, i don't see why it shouldn't this time round :\ i think the total hours i've practiced in this whole week beats the total amount of time i spent during the past year actually self-practicising. yeah it all boils down to laziness. sometimes i do regret, like what if i've chosen to take the "musical" path and what would i be like now? i had 3 teachers who taught me for more than 3 years each, all of them say the same thing that if i had practiced hard enough i would perhaps achieved something damn great by now. okay at least i think i won't quit even though i keep saying that i will quit after this exam. :\

oh yeah! i shall do free promotion! :D
Cedar Choir's having a choir concert showcase!
DATE: 14 May 2008 Wed, 7:30PM
DURATION: Approx 60 Mins
VENUE: Esplanade Concert Hall
and our very first alumni is gonna sing (which includes me! HAHA) soooo please support :D
its $15 + $1 ticket charge. totally worth it. :D students' price!

sometimes all you wanna do is to just get back to square one, where everything else started.
but you can't, can you?


leap year was a bad day.

yeah, if nobody's heard of it by now, my WHOLE pink bag got stolen. which includes all the thousand million things inside and my painstakingly completed tutorials and all my notes and my GC. thank God i have understanding parents who didn't even scold me at all about losing so many things.

i don't even know i should feel angry or sad or happy or just feel numb about it. ms tee was talking to me about the whole incident on her car and lent me money to go home from the school and what she said was so true. but then again, the thief had no idea what deep trouble he/she has landed me in.

don't try to tell me to be calm or at least try to stay calm about this whole incident. we're humans. humans have feelings.

i feel empty now. as if a part of me has been ripped away. just think of how am i going to clear up this mess, especially when my piano exam is just 3 days away? there's nothing left for me to do, is there?

it doesn't even help knowing that march holidays is just 1 week away. and that all my efforts in trying to finish all the tutorials is down to the drain, 'cause i have to REDO everything. neither does it help knowing that my planned "have-FUN" march hols will be gone. the only FUN day would probably be cell bonding.

everything's in God's control.