girl next door is it so hard to find someone who loves me for me?

tag

links ARTEMIS! 08S6B credits http://blogskins.com/me/electro-pop/ ramblings D:

Saturday, May 31, 2008

I WANNA GO HSM ICE TOUR! YEAH BABEHH WE'RE GOING TO GET THE MOST EXPENSIVE TICKETS.


i think i suck alot seriously. HAHAHA. it's time for PW. after deciding to dao PW for one whole week, i realised that i can't dao PW anymore 'cause its PW. anyway, i got inspired to set targets for blocks, and hopefully i'll get A for both chem and math and econs, and if i ever get C for physics it'd be a pretty decent grade for me. and gp, maybe a C or a B will be enough. HAHAHA. okay, they sound overly ambitious, but ah heck that is what targets are for, just like how i foolishly thought i could grasp 9a1s for O's. LOL!

went for service today. hmmm i think its true that alot of us have received many favours from many people. was sharing about fc camp, and made me realised that actually i'm very blessed, blessed with favours from people and favours from God. and from my parents who are ever so understanding towards me and my bad temper towards them, coming home late, spending money unnecessarily. then went for dinner, and leo jon and yaohui went crazy during dinner and yaohui kept asking me to perm my hair to make them curly like wth -.- then the straw hat was totally spastic. lol.

I SO NEED TO STUDY.

perhaps i shouldn't try to change myself too much. if i change, it wouldn't be me anymore. HAHAHA. i still think i suck alot. ever felt that u're totally over with some disappointments in life but actually after so long, you're no where near getting over them.



okay i feel like posting again! :D i think i'm having post camp syndrome HAHAHA huijuan's sms totally rocks but cll people going for camp! and i'm talking to renice online and weihan's asleep (she said she will upload pics tonight -.- HAHA!) and weileong showed me a huo yuan jia video just now and paopao's choreoing dance now and hello marie HAHAHA !! and i bet everyone else is sleeping.


[WHOA! <34] renice says:
hahah actl that doesnt matter as long as im the CUTEST(:

-.- -.- -.- !!






I LOVE US! <333333 :D

our super duper cool awhoosh and cheers!
our super duper lame jokes esp about how a pig dies!
our super duper 山猪　and honey!
our super duper 美女s and 帅哥s (AHEM!）
our super duper big egos!
our super duper spirit!
our super duper camwhoring! (!!! )
our super duper trekking!
our super duper snacks!
our super duper ECs!
our super duper 华语酷!
our super duper team! :D

yesterday's fireworks were damn pretty! xD HAHA.

the best you'll ever have (:


有人在的地方就会有烦恼！因为活着，本来就不失一个人的事。

perhaps this is why i've found so much peace back at kulai, farmhouse. it feels good just to be yourself, with a bunch of people you can totally open up to. perhaps one of the reasons is that it feels closer to the heart speaking chinese :D. haha, i loved the hotseat. but its also probably why i should once again face up to this problem that always exist... since sec3? yeah i will try my best to solve it, even if it's gonna be quite tough in some ways. i've been thinking alot since i've came back, about people, studies, choir, everything. somehow i came to the conclusion that being 2-sided is inevitable. its inevitable that we show a different side of us to different people. like how i can just not talk for 3 hours in choir, how i can go crazy with fc in msia, how i can always emo and talk about random things with you-know-who-you-people-are... shrugs. haha. and i'm looking forward to ocip@cambodia like crazynuts! it's not really all about providing an escape way to this daily hectic routined life we all lead, maybe more about exposure and self-discovery. it awes me everytime i discover something new about myself, or when people say something new about me that i didn't even notice myself. was telling kor about my decisions about how the next 1.5years is going to be like for me, i think i respect my decisions and he too. lets just hope they'll be good ones.


for now, study hard! haha. if not there will be no time to study anymore when handover's official. HAH!


i've been having damn crazy giddy spells for the whole day! and didn't go choir, didn't go meeting, didn't do anything but sleep. God bless me just this time round >.< to be really well and okay for tomorrow's journey ):

oh a lighter note, best bud replied me! :D and best bud is coming back tomorrow while i'm leaving tomorrow. nice one -.- say i'm lousy for missing you so fast already hahaha. but i really do! (: it always feels weird not talking to you online 'cause we always talk online! 2 weeks. LOL.

ahhhh i thank God for all my friends who care for me! like joelynn and yingting who keep smsing me to get well soon (more than duno how many times alr) and everyone that cared<333333

life is that simple actually, you know i've never felt so carefree before for so damn long and it feels damn good except for my head spinning but yeah. there are so many seemingly illusions around but when you break free them, it's damn good. was telling twin how it would be nice if this world wasn't defined the way it is now.


HAHAHA, i got englightened somehow o.O

okay, but it really straightened my thoughts and HAHAHA i broke free of my emo cycle! :D

sometimes i think we're really childish, grumbling about blocks and everything and yet some people don't even have the key to their lives, to choose to want to live longer on this earth.

live life the best you can, and never turn back and say you have any regrets. i've decided not to run for choir exco. be it a shocking news or something, yup, it's final. sometimes i shock myself too. how certain things are like surely "ruiwen's doings" but no.

and og outing WHEEEEEEEEEE! actually, it always doesn't matter to me what we're doing. 'cause what i'm interested in is really to catch up with a wonderful bunch of people, no matter what we're doing lah. (: as i've said before, 38 opened my life up in HC. (:

Lord, I'm surrendering my all to You.


sometimes we forget about the simplest joys life has to offer. you know seeing those heartwrenching news casted everyday about earthquakes, calamities, it just sucks lah. about how people struggle so hard just to keep alive, or even finding hope admist debris, rocks, shattered earth. can't imagine at all.

it always come to a point in life that there are just little things left to look forward to.

anyway yesterday was super funny had a super cheena convo (all chinese words typed out) with jiayi and tag. GOSHHHH. too bad twin isn't online if not can get to read damn cheem chinese words. right. LOL.

today was half productive mugging with alot of talking crap! i'm going to pack camp bag later 'cause i think there will be no time to pack at all tomorrow! hopefully i won't doze off and fall asleep since the sian mood has totally caught up with me and i seriously talk lesser and keep more quiet nowadays! dunno if its a good or bad thing. ARGH. can't decide whether to bring trackpants or not

okay i'm going to whine. as to whine about what, i don't know. i seriously wish i can break my hand now so that i don't need to take blocks. if only life now was about concentrating on choir olympics, it'd do some good, rather than losing focus here and there due to many things.

okay i've decided on something. hopefully it works out.

sometimes humans get too concerned about worldly issues. which is bad.

i'm beginning to think that i really don't mind being an air stewardess and fly around the world to see more things, more people and just lead this kind of life for around 5 years before i quit and move on to another phase in life. i think i will get tremendously awed by many pretty things in life we only see when we're overseas. backpacking will be cool.

to the geog people HAHAHA enjoy your trip! :D :D :D sorry can't be there to send you guys off i will be going off to msia. HAHAHA. :D


i never knew i hate politics so much. HAHAHAHA

i'm sorry for being such a lousy CT rep i hope you guys had fun during outing today! :D i need to spend time eating dinner with my family man if not my parents will kill me very very very soon. >.< and ahhhhh have fun at US geog people! :D i still cannot get over the fact that zijie and chai actually exchanged bags LOL! i like cute stuff! HAHAHA omg thats a damn big hint LOL jkjkjk!

ANYWAY PHYSICS WAS ULTIMATE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. the joy from understanding some h4 physics certainly beats the joy of getting a stupid answer for h2 physics even though i highly doubt i am now able to do h2 physics LOLLLLLLL.

have to relearn my choir scores now! sigh!

and i bought 2 tops yesterday (Ask yingting for more details the funny girl smsed me like crazy last night LOL ) and red fbts today i think i'm going crazy.

char is so funny her passport is like expiring soon and she only realised it yesterday LOL how to go msia! >.<

and my nice mum gave me RM money cos she thinks i'm going msia to shop LIKE HAHA SO FUNNY! -.-

i'm off for dinner now HAHAHAHA spent my day typing notes, notes, and emailing the person for gems.


i don't even know why am i doing this anymore.

& just forget the world.


retail therapy WORKS! :D thanks for the great company hahaha reshma and joelynn ohmygosh HAHAHAHHA i think we totally went crazy trying out clothes and laughing at stuffs today! :D YAYYYYYE! it feels great to be alive again (okay this is an overstatement)

last day of school! pizza party with 6D HAHAHAHA amazingly i cannot imagine how we are going to go for GEMS together! 6D 6P 63 and 6B! >.< artemis<3 HHAAHAHAHA.

last day of school and so i didn't listen to anything that was done in curriculum properly but i don't care.


it was wrong right from the start. the test of controls.


you call THESE living up to expectations.

we'll do just fine. haha.


just came back from bball finals! :D HAHAHA. it was super exciting but i enjoyed the Agirls more! :D like seriously super exciting! hahaha i cannot find another word to describe it but yeah. double champs! :D

and crap i cannot go for the shopping trip tomorrow! >.< sorry reshma rachel and joelynn! arghhh, i feel like banging into the wall. so much for anticipating it. but nevermind, hahaha i will be spending my time with 3 other wonderful people (super wonderful people lah seriously HAHAHAHA :D )! we're on a secret mission HAHAHAHA i keep telling huijuan we're damn cool but cannot help it cos we really are! yay! i cannot wait for CT to end tomorrow. HAHAHA! WHEEEE! im getting high now.

i can't believe okay wait maybe i actually do, that tomorrow marks the end of term2. can't help but to ask myself what have i done to make 5 months slip pass like that. you know o's seemed "so yesterday". and was telling irene this is the first time we don't need to receive a report book when term ends. HAHAH! :\ sadly, school ends at 4 tomorrow like ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sad life.



/Going on rounds and rounds.


i'm in the midst of packing my worksheets, okay actually just sorting them into PCME+GP and i'm dying of the unbearable heat that i spend all my money on cold drinks only!

grahhh these are the times when you wish some free labour will come offer you help to pack your room for you. HAHA!

Arts Fest is officially over, i guess. Can't say we did a fantastically well job, but here's the countdown to Austria in July for choir olympics! :D jiayou rioHC!

i feel so useless now because i hadn't done ANY work since the start of the week partly due to my forseeing which ended up in me chionging tutorials through the 3days long short break and i feel, not right. except physics lah. zzzzzzzz. i can't wait (damn excited actually) to go msia so that i can get out of this horribly hot place called singapore. LOL!

2hours long chem tutorial tomorrow will be ultimately wonderful i'd say.

oh and we played street soccer today like what the .......! nothing to say. HAHAHA.

sometimes certain things, given some time, becomes a daily routine. but what happens if its all gone?

/& This is true.


choir ended early today hahaha then i met marie while walking randomly and she taught me how to exploit people and that's how i got my strawberry milkshake with pearls LOL nice one! >.<

i'm so NOT a pig! grrrrrr.




you've got me all confused and tangled.


i'm beginning to enjoy this serenity on this random monday afternoon of a random public holiday with the exception of the call of the gurung guni man in the far distance. but apparently, the streams of sunlight isn't enough to light up the whole house and that's why electricity exists. nonetheless, i still prefer the darkness, where cold air blows in through the window discretely without you noticing, and you just enjoy the cold breezes and the darkness of the nightsky, sometimes lit up by shining shimmering dots (we call them stars) and perhaps a frosted yellow crest-shaped object (moon, for short). it allows you to think, reflect, about whatever things that may passed our notice in the highly routine lives of ours, reminisce about happy moments, with peace, laughter, joy and great company, and lets you rethink about changes (we use this word too lightly). sometimes we're just contented to know there's always someone out there whom you can talk to, about anything under the sun (or moon). late nights definitely allows you to listen to the calls of your heart, mind, body and soul.

but they're not always accurate.


In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

this isn't a good sign, perhaps.


i can't believe i bought a pink cam! >.< LOL.


ahhh today was a super fulfilling day. which once again triggered my thoughts.


SHAKE! ：Ｄ　HAHAHA, great job to char, eileen and jiahan (why no headspin!!!) ! :D

yay weekends are finally here again! i just can't seem to believe how GG i am right now because i still don't have motivation to actually start preparing for blocks even though its super important and it's like 15% of our final grade despite many people telling me to start mugging real hard BUT STILL, ): grahh! >.<

looking forward to next tuesday! :D LOL.

i wish i wouldn't think so much and ponder all by myself. but i can't help it. and there's no other way out this time.

sometimes it really shocks you when you see how much people could do, all for the sake of friendship.

but there's somethings that will never be said, in a lifetime.




但是天总会黑, 人总要离别
谁都不能永远陪谁


HAHAHA. okay, about yesterday's performance! IT WAS SUPER FREAKY. but the best policy is always to smile, smile even when you're freaking scared and sing like you're the best singer on the earth even if you're way not. thank God for yesterday's opportunity! i guess i'd never have another chance to stand in front of the esplanade hall to sing solo with yunmin! and was it a coincidence or something that directly in front of us were so many lights so bright we can't even see properly so no need to be scared that there are a thousand people watching you. GAHHH. sufen was there! HAHAHA. :\

as usual we camwhored, what you expect when wanping and sophia is there. LOL jkjk!

it was a webcam on some random laptop! LOL!

<33333



1, 2 and 3 ((:

okay. anyway. just came back from VBALL finals and hc girls won! :D it's damn funny when vj started doing the ooooooooo sa! thingy and we annoyingly followed suit and when the girls really score its damn funny!! and saw liukun and singyee there and jamie couldn't go cos she had some guitar rehearsal! >.< zzz. and we were saying how pro is wenjing as the star starter. heh.

oh and i'm starting to think talking to twin on msn before each test REALLY works. the method has proven itself to be trustworthy from the first chem lecture test, econs essay TA, gp, math test, physics test, 2nd chem lecture test like zomg! LOL except that i think twin was annoyed when i was complaining about my marks today because some smart person studied 100 times less than me and still got 27 HAHA!

perhaps there's nothing much to lose in the first place.

dream, a little dream.


sometimes black and white isn't all too good, these are the times you wish for grey regions.

and you end up playing round about games.


i deserve a gunshot for this. HAHAHA.

fly me , to the moon!


每个人在不同的人的面前，都会表现出不同的自己。有时候也因为这样，而找到新的自己。

hmmmm HAHA i seriously can't wait for june holidays to come so that i can start my intensive mugging! :D lost it all, but found all back. blocks, will be a good one yeah! supposed to do chem tutorial in school but ended up talking in fish tank until around 4 with lianseng and there was zero work done LOL then soph came to find me.

i hope my pw group is having fun at the children's home!

hopefully i won't screw up tomorrow's performance!


it's down to the brains, heart, body and soul.


i think i have no more time to keep blogging everyday anymore! HAHAHAHA. but i'll miss blogging everyday just for the sake of it. the day started off with phototaking :D like finally the guys are not the ones behind LOL. concluded that guys are useless in doing damn touching stuff 'cause nearly none of them wrote the note!

then it was a whole lot of lessons and lessons and dozing off and eating and finding out more secrets about the class HAHAHAHA i swear the things i found out today is nearly, unimaginable!

i think i've found a new part in my life (:

i have so much chocs and sweets and cookies lying on my table but i cannot eat them, YET. grrrrah this sucks. i have to do econs essay which will take a super long time, math tutorials, chem tutorials, copy math notes and understand them 'cause of fri's missing lessons, econs tutorials, and sleep by 12 hopefully.

i just realised next fri is the last day of school! which means camp is coming soon! and austria's in 2 months time. YAY! but blocks come first. zzzzzzz. screw blocks. (as if) HAHAHAHA i'm going to work towards my 3 As and fail physics and get a D/C in gp and i'll be damn happy 'cause i sure win adriel lam. LOL!


HAHAHA i seriously hope later is okay. something struck me during the prayer meeting last friday, it's true, we're here we're today because of God's love for the choir and ms lim.

so exciting! :D friday was anabella+jappy+sk+dg+sophia+eunice+xuemin+some og people like jiawei+leo+yiming+wilson and after that me best bud and bella went out to eat subway with zeslene! today, char+OG38+6B+yaohui+jonsoh+myparents+charis+lk+huiyi! and supper with 38 perhaps! (: thank God for them!

oh yeah i discovered this super nice cafe with a super nice ambiance yesterday after church just that the strawberry smoothie tastes like plain water with salt but i love the songs there! was saying that tonight's acapella will be so good the two of them will probably be jealous and then zibei or sth! heh.

our last night<3 let's put on the best show ever and rock vch down. voices in flight, 2008.


/edit

we did it, love<3

and thanks for ALL the hugs and camwhore and sweets and cookies and softtoys and bouquets and flowers I FEEL DAMN LOVED really thank you guys!!! (:


i just woke up and i'm super dead and all i feel like is just sitting on the sofa for the whole day.


thursday was super spastic we were joking about how we can all have meetings in chinese and so we started speaking chinese in LT2 and all >.< and discussed until 10+ HAHAHA and the 5 of us were all braindead by then and sabrina say i zi-high!

and early in the morning weileong has to say my piglet looks like its fake/pirated and he didn't believe it was real until he saw the tag what the !!! LOL.

wheee i think i failed my first test in the year today!

was walking randomly in school then picked up church people along the way and we took a damn nice pic but couldn't find leo and yaohui LOL.

first night today, yup there were magical moments, but oh well, give it the best shot on sunday ahhh we can do it riohc! (:

ahh it has been a long day.

& late nights parade.

and i always end up self confusing so it doesn't really matter LOL.


long, late nights ahead.

everything is just summed up with these three words: I DON'T KNOW.


bought frozen strawberries from mos burger on the way home and they're terrifically yummy.

frozen strawberries look nice on the outside, but on the very first bite, your teeth will kinda be a little painful 'cause it's too frozen and chilly. but on the second bite, you actually get to test the white chocolate and the icecream inside the strawberry, which makes every pain you suffered previously worthwhile.

but what if the sweetness isn't exactly the kind you expected it to be?


this friday! is the day when we show people what's singing and hwachong spirit all about. it also happens to be the day when we, first sing on stage together. as yongquan says it, "in flight entertainment", we're flying this friday and this sunday! <3

knowing that many loved ones sitting down there are there to watch us just makes fri and sun feel even more impt.

did i mention how i hate being a girl. i was hopelessly staring into the cosmetics section at watsons while waiting for my mum and i was like uh completely lost. like what the hell there are so many brands to choose from and so many colours and so many shades and yeah, product differentiation by the companies HELPED SO MUCH because they made a simple eyeliner SO COMPLICATED. (okay i'm ranting) like 1)$##)!* guys only need to know what's the difference between wax and perhaps gel and moving rubber :\ LOL! but it's a worthy investment and i'm super fair but i'm going to use the darkest shade for foundation WHEEE.

and there's alumni performance next wednesday at esplanade! i seriously hope my voice will last me till then, if not yunmin will probably kill me 'cause no one will sing the soprano line for fly me to the moon with her then she will scream and i will die of her screaming! heh.

i can't believe there's actually HOPE for gp lah! now everything got hope except physics. screw physics. LOL.

2 more nights. hmmm.

i thought my eyes fooled me just now, but it wasn't my imagination.


logged in to blogger and surprisingly saw a new post in 4M's blog! :D

we never knew alot of things in our lives, but that's the whole point of being here and not knowing what will happen next.

supposed to be at church but :\ im at home.

even though yingting is so spastic haha but she never fails to make me smile every choir prac! <3

i'm so random i shall stop posting.

and charis, thanks for being there ! and i miss your hug HAHA.


Listening to: Say Goodbye - Chris Brown
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye


today was the day.

yup, i'm glad to say i've no regrets even though many stuffs happened within some 15minutes but at least i've tried, and said most that i wanted to so yeah, jiayou to eileen and jiahan and zijie! :D so spastic lah only like 20min before the interview then i realised that lianseng and mingyang are not going to be there so when the rest of us were in the waiting room all got quite shocked heh. anyway, it's OVERRR, after being in my mind for so damn long and yeah ! :D i guess just gotta wait until things get finalised and we'll see, till then!

some things, no matter how hard you try, are just not meant to be. (only twin understands HAHA)

i don't know, i don't like this empty, uncertain feeling 'cause it feels so damn weird. can't go for cip tomorrow again, choir from 8-3pm, full dress! hopefully my new heels won't give me any problem standing or something i always cannot balance !#)!

and i'm still thinking, thinking real hard

oh yeah and jonsoh can totally sing man! he was singing this song for _______ to let me hear HAHAHA while playing guitar. SUPER FUNNY. i think sure succeed one!

faith, is a strange and funny thing