girl next door is it so hard to find someone who loves me for me?

tag

links ARTEMIS! 08S6B credits http://blogskins.com/me/electro-pop/ ramblings D:

Sunday, August 31, 2008

can't express my hatred for the whole of chapt 11 for math
SUCKIEST THING ON EARTH
i spent 1 hour doing 3 summation questions and it's like !(@^#)!-1_ then i'm staring at method of differences now HAHA dunno how to do.
and the suckiest thing is i don't feel like giving up even if i don't know how to do, so i keep trying but still cannot get it HAHAHA.
why don't i have a math professor as my mum or something -.-


then opened my inbox and got a shock of my life oh no i can't express my gratitude to you guys >.<
life will be tossed upside down after promos. not that it isn't now.

yeah yeah okay damnit i just saw my tagboard HAHA. no make that 4Us !)$*!$*!_)


okay no more tv no more comp from tomorrow onwards!




会熬过去的，一定会
yeah if i've done it once, twice, so many times, i can do it again.


i've never felt so angry at irresponsible people for so long but here i am, BURNING with anger.

don't even say you'll do it if you have totally no intentions to, after pushing away what is called responsibility for WEEKS, yeah the world will greatly function without such people.

and then i get abit pissed with people saying and speaking rubbish that defies the law of truth.

and then eventually i get more pissed with myself for swaying to the tv automatically. here i am hating myself because i keep watching drama (yes new hk drama, i deserve to die) and xingyi is FINDING something to watch. HAHA.

was trying to do AP GP and then i got stuck with the 1st question for near 20min then gave up only to realise how easy it was -.- twin's math isn't MUCH better than me hahahaha

-

oh yes forgot to mention huiyi's belated bday present to me! HAHA :D

HELLO I NEED MORE SELF CONTROL! :O

this ain't right at all.


today is a happy day because:

1. IM GOING FOR OCIP FOR SURE, NO OP! HELLO CAMBODIA
2. ITS TEACHERS DAY IM PROUD OF MY CROPPING SKILLS FOR THE CLASS PHOTOFRAME!
3. CHRISHO IS DAMN FUNNY OUR CLASS TOOK PIC WITH HIM
4. WE WENT BACK TO CEDAR AND THE TEACHERS RMB OUR NAMES
5. 4M WENT OUT TO EAT @ PIZZA HUT, 25 OF US (BEAT THAT :D)
6. I SAW MANY PEOPLE I WANNA SEE TODAY!
7. I THINK CEDARIANS ARE AMAZING, NICOLE IS IN VJ HOUSE COMM TOO! :D
8. I HAD A SUMPTUOUS DINNER WITH MY PARENTS
9. WE GOT BACK WR
10. IT'S GAOMIN'S BDAY AND WE GOT CAKE AGAIN!
11. I SAW ANOTHER VERY NICE WALLET
12. I LOVE JAMIE AND CHARIS ALOT. GIRLS, BE STRONG <3 even though things may not be easy and probably never will, stay strong in faith! i can't say how much i admire you guys hahaha for being able to hold in there and never give up, and to believe! believing is a wonderful thing. (:

today wasn't a happy day because

1. I HATE MASS DANCE. DENYSE KHOR PS-ED ME FOR A GUY! (HAHA KIDDING)
2. SOME PPL I WANNA SEE DIN GO BACK.
3. CEDAR TCHRS COULDNT STAY LONGER
4. IDIOTS SNATCHED OUR CABBB (HAHAHA JKJK)
5. IM GONNA START LEARNING ECONS IN 8MIN TIME! (OKAY I SHLD BE HAPPY, ITS PROGRESS , GOOD ONES)
6. WE TOOK 64 AND DROP OFF AT THE WRONG STOP TO GET TO PS AND WALKED DAMN FAR. BUT OKAY, BONDING (:



these days , i feel that my digestive system is damn weird! i only feel like eating towards the evenings of everyday, and when i start eating i eat alot. and when i'm super full i feel like sleeping. BLAHBLAHBLACKSHEEPHADYOUANYWOOL. anyway it's gonna be normal, soon enough. we were talking about how promos is screwing everyone up mentally and emotionally. look at the amount of destruction it can do to one person. and that's only one person out of so many people. whatever it is, doesn't matter now.

LALALA!

oh singyee was commenting IN MY FACE that my english seemed to have deproved alot and i went "of course lah i use one chengyu and one su yu everyday!" (thanks to fc! HHAHA)

there's no second chance;


the good part being that after you get crushed you sink down, sink down so deep to a point where you don't even act like yourself, and you just want to lie down and watch the world go past. then again, when you get crushed so freaking hard, you bounce back, with even more determination and vitality than you'd ever seen or known it yourself.

and that's not all. to not fall again.

once again i choose to believe in myself.

recently i got this kind of satisfaction that i've never gotten from anywhere else. somehow it's kind of true that the best part of you gets squeezed out at desperate circumstances.

ANYWAY, it's damn weird haha coolblueartemis.blogspot.com shot by 1000 readership within this week LOLL!!!

and i bought a red mouse today but i don't like it cos it doesn't produce the "click" sound when you press on it and its pathetically small although it's meant to be portable. LOL. but it's red so i'll bear with you stupid mouse.

anyway there's this game called dj max (eh why jiahan your psp doesn't have it! -.- ) which is FREAKING FUN omg it's like damn fun and exciting HAHAAHAHAHA. guess it's been a long while since i touched the piano my rhythm sucks like shit now but it's still damn fun HAHAHAHA. which brings me back to that day when me and charistoh were eating in the canteen when she asked me if i'd ever take piano up again and i said no immediately and found myself shocked at my own reply... hmmm. that day i was so bored i just went to the piano and started playing chords and inventing tunes of my own for 30min -.-

anyway OMG i saw this freaking chio pink laptop with flowery spirals at comex show today AND ITS FREAKING NICEEEEEE and it's like so much cheaper than this piece of shit i'm using, comparatively. ..

i hope it rains tomorrow so there's no mass dance because me and fong will be laughing throughout again!

it struck me that it's been a month since we're back from austria and i miss the life in austria even though it's mentally taxing but at least we get to sleep, alot! HAHA

i seem to be so, largely, able to come to terms that i take things super harshly on myself. . . but i don't think it's even wrong that i just wish everything would run smoothly will no hiccups, yet i know that my major flaw is that i'm not responsible enough, and that's quite a far bit by choice. HAHAHA maybe this is like in the genes because my mum isn't a responsible person either. i mean yes to me she must but that's because she's a parent. which is why i think being parents are so hard and i think i have about the best parents anyone could possibly have 'cause i know they love me alot :)


mass dance with fong was super funny because the both of us were so blur that we don't know like ANYTHING.

and charistoh is super cool she's like going to cambodia for mission trip at the end of the year HAHAHA maybe i'll meet her there >.< it's seriously damn amazing.

IF ONLY MY CONCENTRATION SPAN COULD BE REVERTED BACK TO LAST TIME.
wth i still rmbed the days when i can study 6 hours straight without drinking water HAHAHA.
and i'm harvesting the thought of skipping school tomorrow because i don't see the point of studying for APGPSequence&Series !

somehow i wished that my house is a year full of supply of yoghurt so i can like eat it everyday HAHAHA. the first thing i ate this morn was like a yoghurt (thats damn smart) and i felt my stomach hurting like shit and irene was on the verge of vomiting too HAHA.


HAHAHA i got motivation to study now because i'm gonna get a buffet treat for sure !


if i don't die from the checkup this friday which decides of i'm gonna have operation or not but most likely i wouldn't even want to have it, if not choice then next year end after A's ends, i will definitely try to go do voluntary work overseas until i get posed to some uni.

we all don't realise what humanity means. or how fortunate we are. and we take life for granted too much ...


today has been thought-provoking and HAHA sophialing is the cutest person on earth i can't believe her totally.

milktea saves the day!

and mrrudylee is lecturing us in audi AHAHAHA can't believe it i don't even dare to sleep.
see, when i sleep i don't understand anything.
when irene doesn't sleep she doesn't understand anything either.
but when xingyi sleeps until she oscillates she understands everything -.-
nice name selector generator. BLEAH >.<

and i'm gonna follow chai the tortoise's footsteps of going on hiatus HAHAHAHA. i got a free pack of ricola today because of chai indirectly LOL

and tuesday breaks awaits with charistoh and charmaineng! :D




i can't get it figured and i don't know why. maybe someday.


I AM SO GLAD THAT OLYMPICS IS ENDING = MUGGING FROM NOW ON. HOHO.


/edit

if i don't make it now i'd never make it.

and let this not be the only time when i aim for something and not get it.

sometimes not realising what is important to you may be a better thing afterall... 'cause once you realise it, you become afraid to lose it, and when you try to do a million things just to ensure that you won't let it slip pass, that's when everything goes wrong and then life becomes sad.

then again, being too clear in the head doesn't help too, even if economics kind of define humans as rational beings. LOL.

what do you get when u mix black and white together

my mum reminded me that there's only a year left in hwachong. then i told her jc should have been 3 yrs. so it wouldn't be so stressful and we have more time to play. sometimes i regret a fair bit coming here and stress myself out like mad cow but then again i think it'd have been the same even if i chose vj so HAHAHA i can do nothing but to except it, not that i never tried changing but it doesn't work this way

it's weird how we all hold on to reasons, reasons we believe in, reasons in which we entrust our whole lives to, our very own set of philosophies.
then one day comes along when you question yourself and poof trouble sets in.

so what on earth defines everything that we are to everyone?

somehow i think over the years my mental strength has decreased significantly. if you recall the days in OAC i can climb a rockwall like some crazy nut miraculously just by telling myself i can do it and i really can. now, LOL.

i still hope that this type of moodswings are transitional because i still wanna feel happy for the rest of my life, say 70 more years? HAHA. i wonder if i will still be using msn and talking to old friends...... i think i will take up yoga when i'm 30 or something so i won't die of bone-breaking diseases or something lah haha!

i'm trying very hard but i can't. and then one day will come when i don't know what i can do anymore.

and i hate losing momentums for big things.

and i still can't comprehend all of these , huh.

how does it feel like to be afraid to show your own feelings, to have to laugh something off no matter how much you feel like crying, to really wanna cry out loud and let it all out one day, but u can't. 'cause if u start then there's no end to it anymore. and u can't, 'cause you just gotta stay strong.

over again, so impossible to find


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V08Mt35MSis&eurl=

"some how, communicate some of the overwhelming, undying, overpowering, unconditional, all encompassing, heart enriching, mind expanding, on going, never ending, love. "


nice video WAHAHA.


YAY I MANAGED TO WAKE UP AT 8++++ AND STARED AT THE PAGES IN NEWSPAPER WITH IPHONE. it makes me wanna get a new nano 'cause mine is scratched like hell nevermind -.-

ruiwen! says:
HAHAHAHA I LIKE UR 我们的教育，丧失了人性 (his pm!)

伟良 i feel so slack >.<>.< says:
but i don't like 我们的教育。

NICE ONE.

anyway yunmin came back yesterday hahaha she's so nice to hug as ever even though she snipped off her hair but yay eli me yunmin denyse still celebrated denyse's bday with yunmin's failed attempt to get me a strawberry cake HAAHHAHA! :D sometimes, even 10min of cutting the cake plus all of us rushing off to do our own stuff means alot<3 happy birthday to denyse khor hahaa i'm ever so proud of her! :D my choir pres for 6 years and choralfest mate and gossiping mate HAHAHAHAHA.

/edit

HAHA i just thought of a random thing ytd both me and weihan's button drop out for no reason okay i mean i pulled the thread then mine drop out then like ?! super qiao! but she managed to borrow thread and needle to sew it back (LOL) and i didn't -.-

IM SO BORED AND HELLO IT ISNT EASY COMING TO TERMS WITH YOURSELF.


MY 1000TH POST SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN...

i realised it really ain't easy trying to pick yourself up, cope with so much school work, handle insecurities in life all at one go but ahhh heck i kinda xiang tong a fair bit and yahhhh it's time to move on even madagascar says "WE GOTTA, MOVE IT" :D felt alot better after my stupid laptop BLACKED OUT suddenly and can't be turned on during pw lesson even though it has 100% batt charged and then tears just started flowing down my face 'cause there's like freaking damn alot of things in here i will probably gg if they're all gone. AND PHOTOS. ZOMG. >.<


yay, positivity for the way!

fairly amusing i think i was giving live entertainment to xingyi clemmy and lingyong while watching the ljw match in school >.< whatever. HAHAHAHA.


and to answers you will never find, stop probing. they'll come as time goes


HAPPY BIRHDAY IRENE CHU! :D


anyway today has been such a nightmare i don't even want to think about it. let's hope i have enough motivation and drive from now on... if not i can't even imagine myself lah. /edit thanks twin for like tolerating with my crazy emotional states and being understanding :\ even though sometimes i think you think i'm stressing myself out too much also but zzzz.

as much as i hope my comp will disappear so i won't have the temptation to use it, i don't want to see it get hurt physically. i was carrying it to the living room. and the edge banged into my room's door. tada. it looks chipped off now and wth ?! URGH


HAHA, ec meet fac tomorrow! :D

and denyse's bday! and yunmin's crashing hc WAHAHA!



and if everything was a lie


sometimes you just feel like doing nothing for no reason

but if it's been 3 days and you still feel like doing nothing something is really wrong hello girl wakeup and stop dreaming

):

nobody's gonna pick you up when you fall real hard so you really cannot afford to fall


HAHAHA XINGYI JUST SAID STH THAT IS DAMN FUNNY


YAYE! got into pool for sabbats WAHAHAHA how lucky is that after not getting any of my 3 choices for sabbats the previous round >.<

and after sleeping at 1am the day before yesterday and yesterday itself i'm down with sorethroat like WTHHHHHHHH. but i can still talk without using my voice (aha the benefits of being in choir!) which reminds me that i think i forgot how to sing i cannot even sing national anthem properly now HHAAHAHAHA damnit i miss the girls ): it's comforting to know that yingting will randomly pop out online saying she miss me or like reshma will exclaim "I NEVER SEE U FOR DAMN LONG" and when u say hi to joelynn she will give you the spastic act cute face (AHA) then gloria will just... i will just stick my tongue out at her LOLLLL and seeing rachel with her forever-let-down-hair. which reminds me that next year is syf and about how i SURE die for the first 3 months HAHAHA.

we got so random we started dancing fac dance after pe today and chai is the NAN REN :D and forgot most of it HAHAHA.

these weeks have been spent seeing weihan almost everyday (damn i feel like i'm robbing SOMEONE off his time with weihan HAHAHAHA i still think they will end up tgt LOL weihan shall not see this) and visiting the staffroom everyday and what else. okay i remembered i think eating popcorn kills your throat too :\ and drinking papaya soya milk everyday LOL.

and i suddenly realised yesterday that my phone's gold colour peeled off and i'm damn pissed shld have seen this coming. urgh. its not even 3 months old. ):

AND YADADADADA IM OFF TO DO AP GP NOW> sucks!!

and it's some-pig-who-came-at-only-11am-today 's bday tomorrow WAHAHAHA look @ chai's blog!


HAHAHA now half the time i don't know what i'm doing in school!
i wish i could stay in school or something so i wouldn't have to travel home.

sometimes i don't know if it's a good or bad thing... the thing about confidence is you need to have just enough, too much isn't good. like how i don't know why i said i'd finish up wr draft 1 (four chapters) by today and hurrrhur see a zombie in school tomorrow.

突然觉得原来一切是这样地冷淡


haha i thought tapestry totally blows people off ! :D

and now it's time to stop slacking and mug and be focused and settle stuffs asap so that we'll be the only ones unflustered after promos !


i was feeling worried until i saw a couple of nice videos online and YAY! got hope :\ i doubt anyone will see this but i'm just sorry about yesterday, my tone, and everything...

and oooo the table tennis team match is at 7.30pm tmr meaning math is kinda gg-fied >.< yeah going by twin's motto of just scraping pass an A i think it will work out eventually. LOL. i always tell my mum i'm not a chinese i'm a singaporean so i shouldn't support china HAHAHA this is the best example ever.

and wth SABBATICALS....... HAHAHA.


-

i was just thinking about how fragile everything in this world is so they should be pasted with the "fragile" sticker just when you buy things in the airport and they give you the sticker ,just so you will be extra careful with it.


i used to think stress management courses were lame, and always slept through them, or just dao them. now i think it may be the reason why i'm so bad at handling stress, or rather hiding stress.

sometimes i think i deserve to die for being paranoid and stressed up over small things.. i wonder why.

anyway, HAHAHA WE ALL LOVE SARA. no matter what, we've done it and yeah fc<3333>.<

WAHAHAHA i'm so nice i'm sacrificing the stupid 10% math CT to go down for tapestry tomorrow! char ng you better be nicer to me. LOL.


heard a rather thought-provoking story, real life story, during gp lessons today and yeah i almost felt like crying i hope mr koh doesn't show us the video or sth if not i sure burst out into tears like some mad cow. sometimes, it's really hard for us to define what life means to us... i don't know. that girl was featured in oprah winfrey's show and that she was burnt 80% and all her skin was burnt and her face features were like no longer there. and she used to be so gorgeous. but still she did carry on with life no matter how much she may yearn to die.

sometimes there's just too much moral and ethical issues for us to deal with.
and sometimes we should just be contented with what we have.
even though sometimes it may be hard for us to accept that everything in life, God has it all planned out for us.

i just felt relatively sad for the day because i was thinking how unpredictable the future might be. and how strong i am as a person, not very, and the idea of having 35days to study for blocks isn't very helpful.

and the best part is that i always worry excessively. somehow. i don't know. it's like an in-built character trait since who knows when.. . i would often wonder if it's even wrong to just wanna do things well and glamorously at the expanse of exploding my pathetic brain.

yay, for tomorrow! :D for fac comm and everyone else who is going down <3


找到平衡点

the past weeks have been truly... self-rewarding. sometimes even finding out your own weaknesses, others' weaknesses can be rewarding because this is where you will find out how to improve and hmmm. change is good, sometimes. like how i've always thought i could be capable enough to juggle many things in my life and how i find out that i'm not... i don't know. i'll try, try and try harder i guess. never been so determined to want to get things done well, efficiently, productively, and to excel my expectations of everything around me including myself. and how to deal with disappointments. i guess playing and working is definitely two different things altogether. but hey dynamics can be created, build on. maybe one day i'll find out that my beliefs are wrong, or maybe one day i'll prove my beliefs right. but for now, focus, is the word.

certain things, you tend to go deeper and deeper and sink in. no, not this time.

anyway hahaha today was a happy day 'cos it started out quite great with the morn announcements and stuff woohoo.
A Date With Sara! :D

p.s. won't be coming online anymore, or at least for long. i'm determined to do well for promos and i mean it. (i hope. LOL)

/edit

when decisions come into the play... i just quitted piano. yeah, no more grade8. how i've hanged in there for so long, not practicising but always tyco passing. how all my teachers have been saying it's a waste of talent 'cause they seem to think i'm quite musically inclined. i feel a teeny weeny tinge of sadness. my teacher told my mum it's damn wasted.

maybe.

and to walk by faith.


ahahaha my new hobby is like watching the olympic games! :D was in physics today (YES WTH) and then someone said taoli got 5th for the finals today ): which is kinda sad. HAHAHA. oh yeah if you wanna hear about how i got scolded by my parents for not supporting china, come to me HAHAHA -.- oh spain's bball team has damn alot of pretty girls HAHAHA :\

i was thinking it's amazing how people keep trying to overcome their own limits, be it physical/emotional, and always try so hard to strive for the best, breaking records, rediscovering themselves and all. how we see records after records being set and broken. how everyone's born to do different things in life, some better in this than others. yet there's always a limit to everything in this world, sadly.

the class's at iceskating now but it's at like jurong >.< style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">then how could it be, the exact same place.


/edit
i'm so bored i was watching weightlifting but i couldn't bear to see the people failing to lift those weights and injuring themselves (seems like their bones are gonna break into two anytime) and then i was watching yu le bai fen bai and i just ate a cheese pancake from downstairs and damn i'm halfway through 9c hoho.

sometimes, you procrastinate more with a clear aim inside your head

for now i just wish the night would pass then i'll probably stone as usual during gp tomorrow


okay stop dreaming and lazing around

there's so much ahead and yeah, take them down


HAHAHAHA I LOVE IT WHEN THERE'S FOOD, NICE COMPANY, LAUGHTER, WORK DONE, AND ERRR GETTING WET WITH EVERYONE ELSE IN THE POOL, A FAILED TRUTH AND DARE, SEEING PPL GETTING DUNKED, BONDING AND EVERYTHING ELSE ! LOL! >.<

:D

our very first informal chalet :\ HAHA!

NICE NATIONAL DAY. WAHAHHA XD

LOVE FACCOMM! :D


NOW i regret not watching the opening ceremony yesterday! my mum was damn funny she was like "eh i thought they are going to report in chinese" then me and my dad just rolled our eyes at her, seriously -.-

and happy national day WAHAHAHA i think i have the most patriotic display pic on msn with my gold medal! :D and happy birthday rachel :D

i swear i missed national days in cedar. all the trootroo trains and the suprise elements by the prefects and all. wearing red and going crazy hugging each other and singing sweet lovely songs and it just feels so different. even weihan agreed on that. but ain't nothing's gonna bring us back, nothing. that's why madagascar sings "we got to move it" , move on, and then one day reminisce the past so much, but the next day life just goes on.

"It's funny how people mark their lives, the benchmarks they choose to decide when a moment is more of a moment than any other. For life is made of them. I like to think the best ones of all are in my mind, that they run through my blood in their own memory bank for no one else but me to see."

- Thanks for the memories, Cecelia Ahern

i've never tried planning my days 3 months in advance and LOL it seems abit ridiculous, then again not. the thing about priorities is that it's so ambiguous yadadada. sometimes, i'm thankful that i'm an outspoken person but then again, not.

to think the year is coming to an end and we spent the past 7 months just like that, often without even knowing what we've done 'cause time flies so fast and HMM i just hope pw comes to an end and yay hello to cambodia! :D i was just thinking if we spend so much money on airtickets and everything just to go over to help out, why not just donate all the money, i think it's a great sum altogether and doesn't that help more? then i was asked to see for myself :\ AHAHAHA we'll see >.<

if i say i'm not scared at all i'm lying but thank god i don't even have time to bother about how the checkup will turn up to be so i don't really care.

/edit

it's a steep learning curve. & we all gotta learn, learn how to deal with life, family, friends, studies, and most importantly ourselves.

"Sometimes I forget that the world is not on the same schedule as I. That everything is not dying, or that if it is dying it will return to life, what will a little sun and the usual encouragement. Sometimes I think: I am older than this tree, older than this bench, older than the rain. And yet. I'm not older than the rain. It's been falling for years and after I go it will keep on falling."
Nicole Krauss
koped from chai's lj!



如果时间停留


i hate habits that makes you feel that your day isn't complete just because you didn't do something.

anyway! had a relatively fun time today, hahahaha nice performance by us (i think so at least) at least you can see people waving singapore flags LOL >.< after nat day aha ate @ BK and had fondew and somehow eating fondew can lead to glass cup being broken and then side track like crazy (OMG FOUND OUT STH THAT GIVES ME HOPE FOR PROMOS) and yeah and then watched mummy3 (when i didn't even watched the previous ones) and screamed so loud in the cinema that so many people turned to stare at me even though it was dark and tada here i am!

hello to a beautiful day tomorrow.

什么叫做放纵？


there's so much feelings in me i wish i was a volcano so i can get explode and get them over once and for all.

o.O


HELLO I REALLY WANNA SLEEP NOW BUT I'M STUCK IN CHEM SPA WORKSHEET AND MR LEE WANTS IT TOMORROW LIKE HELLO I CAN DREAM MY DREAM ALREADY. >.< i think my headaches are coming back and this isn't good and i really wanna go for parade tomorrow but yadadadadadada i hope i faint when i sleep later due to lack of rest.



" Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know"
- Jeremiah 33:3


HAHAHHA did i mention i love little talks with charis when i just pop out for nowhere and we'll start talking. girl you rock<3

at the end of the day, i conclude that my ego is so bloody big i can't stand it myself and i don't like losing face and i need positive changes!
and i'm always confusing myself so badly i'm so confused but no impulsiveness won't do anything good so i need to think more.
and the bottom line is still getting your priorities right. but sometimes people go insane due to various reasons and nothing can be justified.

i was thinking of xmas this year and vday next year and i came up with a fantastic idea of what to make for people :D

was watching the council try to do the fountain thingyy and i'm convinced that happier days will be ahead! i just hope next friday comes quickly!

sometimes the process doesn't justify the means and the means don't justify the process either. we'll never know.

这场雨不知从何开始
闭上眼睛深深呼吸
让我走的好缓慢...


each and everyday we learn a little new thing about ourselves,
the ugly and the beautiful side.

and there's so much about humanity we need to learn.

and obviously, time allocation :\


i think i deserve to die because i was at metro (yes i'm so bored but don't feel like going home so i went to walk around at compasspoint) and i saw 2 damn nice guess wallets which are pretty in their own ways! one's damn classy and the other's quite funky, with very strong metallic colours and leather skins... and both are super expensive ): BUT DAMN PRETTY! okay stop it don't be so materialistic but HAHAHA i know myself so well that i'd probably get either of them within the next 3 weeks. now i'd figure out how to get the discount card from my beloved mum without her knowing what i'm going to purchase.
-

i was thinking about how perspectives could vary so much from one person to another. something that could be deemed so wonderful, perfect, beautiful to some people could be just condemned to nothing with a few words, by others who don't know the pretty art of appreciation. (maybe this is why each and every single human being is so fundamentally different from one another) although, i strongly believe, that the beauty of somethings in life is in the eye of the beholder, and what others fail to appreciate won't demean the value of what we hold on so strong to, it still saddens my heart... even though there's absolutely no way everyone would be convinced by the same perception because not everyone's been through the same process of life. but sometimes, they do matter afterall. i don't know, aiming for perfection seems so difficult (Even knowing that perfection doesn't exist).

so, i should just dao people who don't see eye to eye to me. HAHAAHA. jkjk.

sometimes, i find myself so hard to believe in. i care, alot, but i don't know how to.

then i realised i (on the other hand) have no clue as to how to cope with EVERYTHING. (promos, pw, sleeping in class, all the stupid last few tests which will make up CA, getting zihigh because i don't wanna sleep in lectures, eating excessively, watching a sane no. of hours of tv, having fun and doing work with fun people).

ooo and HAHAHA drinking tea is the way to avoid falling asleep in between lessons, TOTALLY!

i'm having my medical checkup 3 weeks from now 'cause it was changed because of adhoc event. but damn just screw my backbone HAHAHAHA i won't miss ocip for anything.

finally, A Date With ... :)

we'll see!



if's its real this time
WAHAHAHA hello to late nights.



today's a day that all our teachers seemingly are angry with our class or something, not like i can help it, but the feeling of feeling people's anger sucks. right.. except for econs lecture when clement and elson got pwned hands down xD

it's high time to start worrying. for promos. somehow i think the idea of promos coming soon but not quite soon is a shadow behind everyone's head. but somehow you just gotta find a way to overcome it. if ability matters, efficiency too. goooo everyone! :D i just hope inspirations will rain down upon us and then we'll have lots of brilliant ideas for something special xD and today's random discussion was GOOOODIE! :D

it's high time to think about what happens after this and this and this.


nice RED shoes :D a pity we're not ares. should get blue shoes somedayyyy :D artemis ftw! :D

tomorrow ! something i'm proud of, definitely. HAHAHAHAHA.


i don't know why am i here when there's obviously chem test tomorrow but HAHA. i never recalled planning my days 2 months ahead but here i am thinking of all the wonderful things and events after promos HAHAHA. have been thinking alot throughout this evening and eventually fell asleep.

sometimes we all don't know what's our best and we'll never know

but for now

change is the only constant.

sometimes i think i'm too ambitious but the only way is to learn to cope. since everyone else says we have to, we have to.

and i csn't believe the days in HC will soon come to an end and then people will disappear from my life .. so sometimes i don't know if it's a good thing to rely on certain people too much because if one day they're gone, life would be a misery.

from LS's nick, "A date with... the red knight" ;)


think i've lost it all and i don't know how to get back to where it all began.

HAHAHA i feel highly inferior about pw and i can't help it.

if .................... then this wouldn't be happening now. i'm so confused about ten thousand million things in the world i wish i will just have an additional 24hours a day to do the things i want but it's impossiblex10000 i hate math alot now (for some obvious reasons) and someone please teach me how to do tutorial 9c! but i hate self-expectations more.

at the end of the day, not knowing what you think you've known all along sucks the most.

sometimes i think im getting mentally weaker. even though i'm still very stubborn. but it's two different things altogether. HAHA

tues is coming! :D


sometimes we find all the glue we can just to hold ourselves together.

i forsee a 180degrees change in my life soon HAHAHA more fun more stress more laughter more funny moments more songs more food more jokes and suans less time to study and sleep but definitely worthwhile with an amazing bunch of people. <33333 :D but i'm still very scared of weihan always constantly proclaiming her love for me. LOL.

LALALALALA.


and how about fighting on for the best of the best of the last.


fc consists of such artistically talented people! :D LIKE MEEEEE. can't believe pp was from AEP hahahahahaha. and we all should totally go K one day LOL! today was a relatively happy day even though we were all so spastic and noisy but nobody is in school to hear us ~ xD

okay time to start on chemistry !