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Friday, October 31, 2008

i think holidays are gonna be dreadful HAHA

op today was rather fruitful i think :O

试验, 什么叫永远


"do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself... Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap, or store away in barns, and yet our Heavenly Father feeds them"


okay now i think bleeding love is a nice song! :D

my brain feels like exploding now and i'm gonna sleep later again.

i do hope 7th Nov will be good, good, and it can only get better (i hope!)

maybe it isn't too good to be rational. maybe that's why i think i'm getting more irrational. maybe sometimes you don't need to be clear and precise.


weihan is damn retarded -.- omg girl i can't help laughing at your smses HAHAHA.


Indefinitely.


some habits you can't kick.

HAHA. alright, i was still getting high over high school musical and then i got gaomin hooked on the song. :D and then i was using eileen's laptop on tues and guess what i think there's gonna be high school musical 4: college years :D LOL! but if they're gonna change the cast then it's quite a sad thing! okay then YAYYYY we (gloria yingting joelynn then reshma joined us later) freaking went to shop @ fareast and there are so many KIVs :D but retarded lah i can COUNT the number of days i am freaking gonna dress up until A's are over so meanwhile recycling is good. minx says its laziness. HAHAHA.

ohoh saw chenyang also i think he couldn't recognise me or something stupid idiot -.- but waffles was good HAHAHAHAH i kind of miss the yellow skirt HAHAHA its 19bucks :\ quite cheap but i won't wear it = waste MONEYYYY. i hate meesua with oyster, seriously.

and hc idol. DAMNNNIT i got cheated and weileong just laughed it off but AHA... nevermind because sherry was damn good and it made going to hc idol worth while SHE IS REALLY SUPER GOOD and iype and evelyn was funny to the max. okay i like the goodie bag because it has toberone and kinder bueno but i NEED to take care of my voice, op is no joke. then i think everyone bullied patricia HAHAHA it's quite, hilarious :D and i concluded that patricia's mindset is totally different from mine LOL. and hello to samuel for ANNOYING me i can't believe your chinese is a1 -.- -.- okay i still think sherry is very zai!!

and then it's op for the rest of the days. HMMMMMMMMMM

okay today is the last day of school. i guess such days don't matter in jc anymore. if not i'd be totally out on the streets and not coming home to sleep but i'm really super super tired from everything that's happening. oh yeah, including how geof suddenly gave me a whole new perspective towards moe h3 versus ntu h3... and then today i go around telling people that i've applied for ntu chem but i hope i don't get in and people give me the HUH? look. well, i'm that self-contradictory.

okay but no matter what i'm gonna work very hard already... it's only a year left and i wonder what has life in stall for us 'cause God is so amazing :D

oh yeah chai's post... HAHAHA princess ball chess is amazing too! today xiangjing clement were thinking of ways to play it so they hid each princess in the tip of the star shape and surround it with other princess and you're supposed to play it by saving the princess (but snow white damn ugly lah HHAHAHA).

OKAY i shall sleep now i don't know what time i will wake up so weihan's probably gonna go crazy calling me LOL!!!! yayyy i hope fac outing 2 will be good, nevermind the cramped space, company is the best.

hello to elson and chai for being so nice to agreeing to be our fac queen and king AHAHAHA then minx and zijie will be your son and daughter :O

i guess i could live with this.

oh oh HAHAHAHA rudylee was telling me my gp sucks (even though i say my gp sucks too but it's okay considering i don't have tuition even though i read, often) and i was telling him next year that will probably be my grade for math.. LOL.

i realised why some people are stricter with some people than others. but i don't know if this realisation is a good or bad thing, or is it one that comes with great expecations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxQDlokbfQk :D i like this version it's SOOOO broadway-sounding and i got the same kind of feeling when we graduated from cedar. it's been too long.

OH YAYYYY holidays are here -.- okay i should REALLY SLEEEEP.


maybe it's good to say bye to this blog :D

and i've finally became sick of everything, everything.


but fear is no excuse. because God empowers and I believe that right here, right now.


i would say high school musical 3 is very very very super ultra good EVEN THOUGH we were at the third row from the fun and we paid 10bucks since it's a weekday but eileen is super cute during the movie!!! HAHHAHA.

okay apart from the dances and songs and sharpay who is funny by nature, i guess it's this sense of relation of the what-happens-after-college-life thing. and how we always seem to be following some pre-determined paths of life, paths either chosen by our parents or highly recommended by our tutors, and then i found myself strongly agreeing with this line the old teacher said which was something like there are some things that we can only do while we are young... i don't know. the thing about dreams is that, maybe all the dreams i once had are crushed by reality, so there isn't some dreams to speak of in the first place... dreams to be realised, dreams to be conquered. and most of the time we try so hard to say goodbye, even if our heart doesn't want us to. and the thing about always trusting your instincts. yes there are sacrifices to be made always (i've totally came to terms with that) and i really don't know. i've been thinking alot these days about what happens after college (see it wasn't even easy for me to chose pcme in the first place) i mean hey somewhere along the road we have to make a decision... even if it may prove wrong in the future. even though i admit, i really admit that i'm still abit of "high-achiever" but all i want in the end is just to study some course that i like in either nus or ntu and hopefully get a scholarship. i don't even AIM to study overseas, even though people have been telling me that i can get a scholarship to go overseas even though i would love such an experience. but that aside, that's all i ask of from life now. it seems to me as if the following one year is simply so short. we only have one year. and what next.

and this is probably why.


frankly, i didn't know there're so much cheap stuffs at bugis! now i think weileong and huijuan and weihan are damn zai!!!! yay i love balloons HAHAHA. even though i was really super late and got niao-ed like crazy by gohweileong when we were on the way to coro ! then gloria popped by then we went back to the school to meet reshma and denyse and we spent a super long time in the toilet and then we went out for dinner at this place at six avenue and tried some japanese octopus thingy :O but haha it has a nice ambience! :D

then we went back to school to watch the eye seriously it's not even scary but people keep screaming HOHO xingyi is like ultimately terrified (yay now i think i'm brave!! :D) and then we played with sparklers (see, the benefits of bugis streets) then stupidly our trail got cancelled and yeah. stayed on the watch shutter since my mum wanted to wait for me surprisingly she not even pissed okay it's NOT very freaky whatever HAHAHA ! marie is DAMNNNN funny.

and back to pw!!


humans are so contradictory.

oh yay i'm happy now because i got this really nice top for 9 bucks at a sale from fox :D

but i'm not happy because of alot of stuffs and i don't like this, knowing exactly what you're gonna do ahead of time, then news come in and crashes everything, every dream that you had, every possibility we thought of. i had been happy, because jc isn't so much about mugging mugging and more mugging. then again, i think it's time to change my perception big time. i know everyone's kinda feeling sore about it. hey guess what, me too. there's just this tinge of sadness i can't explain.

i feel so, so useless i can only sit back to watch everything go pass. time for self evaluation. i wouldn't say good job.

oh yeah scream tomorrow!

had no idea why twin was so shocked when i said if i've no job in the future i will take chem engineering or something. HAHA. thanks irene for saying that i'd probably never be able to become anything. shrugs. so i began browsing through in my head those jobs i couldn't possibly take up in the future. i guess in the end i'd prolly take a general degree so i wouldn't have to be stuck to one job for the rest of my life.

guess what, i swear i'm gonna study very hard for math to prove some idiot's judgment wrong. i can't take it lying down under such situations. good that i have strong motivation. right, one day i will slam my sec4 testimonial at her hello if my math isn't good why the hell will my sec4 testimonial even mention that my math is really really good. and i'm the only one who got in the whole level probably. thanks for looking down on me. whatever. i got a B probably because you can't teach.

but sometimes, i feel that we're such lucky people and really, thank God for it:D

oh forgot our errr half-the-class outing today to a jap restaurant at serene centre HAHAHA i love fishes omg too bad i couldn't taste it nicely because of the stupid briefing !_)!#*$%*!) and the mushroom soup is damn tasty 'cause it's so spicy!! :D


HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLORIA TAN GLORILLA<3 :D:D:D:D:D (it was damn brave of you to wear the crown and the purple cape and catwalk to the central plaza) and i love instant pastas!!! :D


oh yeah now i get the feeling of some strong urgent need to be doing something but i just feel like slacking. HAHA. it seems as if everyone has changed for the better except me. somehow these days are just, more laxing, more crazy, which makes me wonder when was the last time i really allowed myself to go out of control........ but that doesn't matter just 1 more year and i'll break free. HAHA.

i feel mo ming qi miao but NEVERMIND hahaha it does show something.

i feel so tired and i realised i have to do my sums again HAHAHA i hate math. then i wonder how could i change so much within such a year... my damned attitude towards it now. TEACHERS DO MATTER.

/edit

i totally despise irresponsible people who do not have a better sense of urgency and time.

answers you can't find.


there hasn't been so much dark clouds around but recently it's been rain and storms everyday, or rather very frequently.

op trials were fine, i suppose. except that i don't like people accusing me of what i didn't do.

i guess talking to rudylee was good too. it made me more aware, and not to dismiss whatever he'd said but yeah. i really ought to choose carefully.

the culture quotient thing was damn funny HAHAHA she's a damn funny person, i realised.. made me and huijuan laugh like crazy.

BOOHOO !


i'm sore over it and yah nothing in this world would make me feel better. oh yeah, surprises in life. i know to some people i'm like some bitch whining when oh yeah my overall results are not bad but yeah i know myself best, how everything has been falling apart since blocks, how everything just went downhill and never went up again, how ironically the two subjects that i studied most and have most interest for didn't even get an A. you know this heart-wrenching feeling. being so up there and then dropping so low... and i tried so hard. maybe i didn't put in my all, maybe i had some reserves, maybe i was distracted when studying. but all these doesn't count. the fact that all i see is a pool of mess in front of me is the truth and i can do nothing but to accept it. but today, i tried so hard to control my emotions and didn't even let tears flow out of my eyes. 'cause crying doesn't solve the problem. yeah i know that it's super tough trying to suppress all these shit but it's exactly at this point of time that even i myself get scared, of myself. 'cause if this is all that i can take, i'd make sure i become stronger and tougher. and then one day i'd not even have to cry over any shit coming my way anymore 'cause i'd make sure i have no way for regrets.


and then to hear such a depressing thing in the evening. hmmm.

dinner was good because i think we were all super hungry but HAHAHA paopao made me respect him x100000000 today LOL. seriously.


i wonder why is it that when bad things happens we always tend to put the blame on others and never on ourselves. what a self-reflective gesture that was.

and then why not we all take a look at ourselves we're all bad people in one way or another. the choice if deliberate words or demeaning ones is a powerful one.

and freak i just realised i forgot to watch HSM2 yesterday night :(

spent 16 bucks printing WR and it helps loads because guojun's group spent 90 :\ LOL!!!!!!!

banner painting ftw :D

today has been a day of emotional tribulations, a rollercoaster ride. i can't believe how i get so easily brought down by expectations in life. yes, i know it's such a huge word, but it's size is increasingly exponentially as we grow older.

some tough decisions ahead i suppose.

just kill me for thinking so much.


charis toh is damn funny she's totally my idol NOW. :D

there's choir tomorrow and yay see the sops again better bring my sweater in case i freeze to death like the other day at LT3 but we had free leftover buffet so nevermind HAHAHA. teachers are so blessed!

i was feeling sad over some news but to think of it it's even better this way.

sometimes i wish that life can be so carefree and all, but yeah i should stop dreaming, life these days and for the rest of my days will never be. 'cause no matter what, we'll still have strings attached to simply everything on earth. there's no running away from it, 'cause it simply catches up with you, overtakes you, and eats you up.

humans are weird (as always), you start worrying about your grade, and then your marks, and finally who are you really competing with?

these days i feel immense insecurity in the life i lead. while all of us try to seek the perfect, ideal way of life, we often do not attain it. and before you know it, time sweeps past so fast we couldn't catch a single trace of whatever happenings there may be. and before you know it, the sweetness of carefree days turns into days when you fret over everchanging circumstances in things you do and in life itself. and before you know it, new decisions have to be made, with force and conviction, even if it's not out of choice. sometimes you just gotta do it.

sometimes it's damn hard to build bridges. 'cause (apply all the physics concepts) they will collapse one day. yet being the supports of these bridges is even, ever harder.

these days i feel quite a bit of class love. i'd always remember how on the day of O's results i started crying like some mad dog knowing i didn't even get 8a1s and the only consolation was the whole class's cards for me and irene. and we did stay :) i love class gatherings hahaha EVEN IF i always get suan-ed >.<

and it strikes me how we often forget to give thanks to the grace God has showered upon us, even if we pray only most oftenly during examinations. and for all the little funny things, cute friends, sweet moments in life. I WILL GO CHURCH THIS COMING SAT ): sigh, haven't been there for ages and i feel guilty about it.

Let go, let God.


HAHAHA amazing class outings in these two days! like super high attendence! we left school for eileen's house yesterday and had a pizzahut fiesta before heading back to school for gp results. then today we had steamboat buffet yay we love prawns and zong ji mi ma :\ LOL. let's just hope the clams are cooked in the soup if not i'm gonna die of hep A or B. hahahaha! was retarded because i travelled from bugis to east coast and back to bugis again ah well >.< at least i'm happy today because of the earrings which weihan failed to prevent me from buying and happy breakfast which was funny (because renice is always so CUTEEEEE) and a splendid breakfast LOL.

/edit

and happy birthday to you :D


i don't know HAHAHA i think i'm going crazy and crazier it's ultra madness i don't know just count the days i've been crying over the past week -.- i wish i could stop this nonsense-s but i can't. i will be glad if my eyes doesn't pop out or something soon. how expectations kills us. but cheer up to yingting and xingyi and irene!<3

what disappointments in life can do to you.

but i'd still believe that no matter what life gives you, everything's a plan, plans that God has for you, only to make you a stronger person. even though we might not often see significant changes. one day we will. life after life.

oh yeah stupid shit i cannot play frisbee with the class tomorrow thanks to my knee HAHAHAHA -.- monopoly ftw! xingyi is damn stingy HAHAHAHA !

and op sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. our batch is super unlucky to be the batch which always gets new/ is the last for some syllabus or implementation.

I WANNA WATCH HSM3! (YAYYY WITH CHARISTOH AND LIUKUN PROB)

today charis toh showed me this wonderful software you can actually play piano on MACBOOK ! i got thoroughly amused by it and started playing twinkle twinkle little star! -.-

there's this food fair at compasspoint and i keep buying weird food to try out and end up having dinner at 10pm.

/edit

maybe, i've found the answer.


why

why

why

i can't comprehend.



yesterday was fong's birthday and i kept wishing her happy birthday just to make sure i was the last :\ LOL. happy belated birthday fong :D right, post-fong's bithday celebrations! :D

somethings just made me think alot like how i think that i'm a changed person these days. i flare up more often than ever, get high more easily than ever, and start doubting people. it seems as if i'm just sitting by and waiting for the world to go pass me and i'm just watching the world go by. i think i need some emotion management courses or something. but not as if it's gonna help me in any way. i like life better this way, sometimes it doesn't feel so empty, there are things to do, new scenarios popping out, you just gotta learn to deal with each situation, and that since i don't believe in anything like "not within our control", sometimes things do get abit extreme. i'm just sorry for all the times i appear stressed and start scolding f word and refuse to talk to people and i feel like i'm not even myself anymore. oh yeah, and about me disappearing forever. how everytime the sops wanna do whoosh and i'm always somewhere in school and always disappearing, i don't know. i feel bad. today was a classic incident, we spent near 5 bucks printing coloured pages of wr, and microsoft word screwed up on us, and tada!!! everything's wasted. then i got an amazing news which left me with no words, i got worried abit and talked to my in a not so nice way, before that running all about the other wing, then gp was zzz, then i just felt like the whole day sucks. and to recall it's not even anything big.

and oh yeah results. i'm turning cold-blooded for good. it comes to a point when it has been twice in 1 year that i felt nothing about my results. when i'm sure anyone would have felt something towards theirs.

junyao reminded me about h3 and syf next year. i wonder how, big time. okay in the first place i'm still sore over my math i don't think i will ever recover from it so besides that, i honestly have no idea. was talking to gloria's senior on the way home yesterday and she was telling me about uni life. i wonder when will all this come to an end, struggle for everything in life.

i'm listening to http://www.schoolbag.sg/archives/2008/10/hwa_chong_choir_sings_its_way.php
HAHAHAHA.


HAHAHA went to watch house bunny with gloriatan resh joelynn ! :D which was a horrendously long story to start with HAHAHA my knee died -.- but the movie was damn funny! LOL.

okay, for now, PW PW PW and FOT FOT FOT! yay :D

/edit

pw sucks people's life out of it. LOL! i think i'm gonna doze off during choir tomorrow. :O yay i like our pink op slides and our blue wr!


i love gloriatan because of the damn nice peach pie! (until now i still suspect that she bought it 'cause its so freaking nice!) you know how i normally don't eat peaches, nor peach pie, but this time its simply nice, with the scattering of sand sugar above it and microwave hotness <33333 which then reminded me of how i forgot about my lunch totally. yay gloriatan you rock :D i will support you financially by patronising you if you ever open a bakery if you are out of job, HOHO! :D

life's busy but it keeps going on and on and on.

somewhat, i'm not exactly very excited for cambodia anymore. the thing about orphanages, haha, i'd probably end up crying here and there 'cause i feel sad for them. in a world we'd never imagine ourselves to be in.

at points in time, you just gotta make decisions once and for all and stick by it 'cause there's simply no turning backs.

we're all so afraid of getting hurt time and over again.

i think i'm still pretty much the same 10 months ago. maybe.


i detest the thought of this upcoming week which is seriously going to drive me nuts. just the thought about promos results coming back, me attempting very hard at not trying to breakdown due to unacceptable grades, meetings, meetings, more meetings, dealing with unforseen circumstances which always happens. i don't know.

and and i hate ambiguity it just makes my life confusing -.-

i'd love for tomorrow to come when everything can be answered woohoo there's nothing i can do except to hope things will turn out fine or in the better light because i can't even turn on my brain to think of solutions now. see, the point is that the world creates too much problems for us to handle.

i wonder 10 years down the road where will i be.

sometimes i just feel like shutting this whole blog down because there's so much i have to rant but there's so much i can't say.

-/edit

I HATE PW! ):


i've never felt so screwed up in my entire life lah not even when i got back O's results or anything. -.- so many shit happening. RAWR >.< i was walking down this long stretch of road to island cremery yesterday night alone and then i seriously felt like crying like shit WHY IS EVERYTHING SO SCREWED UP haha whatever then the 4 of them thought i disappeared or something 'cause i off-ed my phone then they got scared haahaha.

maybe, it's time for a change.

anyway, damn stupid, i was at charis's classbench swinging my ONLY SPORTS MEDAL and then suddenly it broke off and rolled down the walkaway !$*()!$&#(@!_+ hahaha. and sorry char! >.< I REALLY forgot. hahaha. charis is secretly happy 'cause she's the trustable one LOL!

and then yay camwhoring with the sops :D HAHAHA. i think we were standing in front of the right wing toilet and then a parent got damn pissed off with us using the mirror :O yeah, fancy posing for a

okay sometimes i really think too much but it can't be helped -.- i blame myself alot nowadays. for every shit that happen. and then it was a sudden realisation that these days, i'm always on the negative note. i used to be filled with positively for everything that happened on earth but no longer. i used to trust every single person i meet but no longer anymore. blahblahblah.


HOHOHO i admirer dancers more than ever before because dancing is damn tiring ! but there's this sense of fulfillment when you finish the whole song especially if our fac dance is the toughest one but it's super fun :D then you get to sweat it all out and jian fei :O and super speed and yay :D

AND YAY to sops outing (coming soon, LOL) and buffet with the frogs and movie and movie and i still want a sleepover ): and GLORIA TAN'S bday is coming soon! :D I HOPE OUR WHOOSH WORKS BECAUSE IF IT DOESNT I WILL JUST KILL MYSELF OVER HORRENDOUS PROMOS RESULTS.

i hope bella comes for open house >.<

i think i'm super mean because i hadn't and won't be eating dinner at home for this whole week.

and then i look at the remaining weeks and still think i'm quite screwed. there's just SO MUCH to do and i hate it when things fail because of me yeah just keep having faith >.< even if it's blind faith sometimes woohooo and pw pw pw WHAT THE HELL IS PW h29q3ru b059v=23-1 okay bye.


GLORIA TAN IS A BIG FAT PIG for every evil thing she did to me on the mrt back home after dinner + walking around + yingting and her buying white collared shirt which i don't need HAHAHA. yeah guess bags are cool :D i still like the red red red one HAHAHAHAHA no guts to carry it though. LOL. and $$$$ ): NOW THERE'S NO NICE WALLETS TO CHANGE TO ANYMORE. boohoo. so long since we're so carefree and talked such a fair bit!

MAMA MIA :D

and xingyi looks like lobster too LOL congrats :D

i'm still damn sian lah !@)#$(^*&_#!+ open house is on friday HAHAHAHA okay i must listen to eileen and go lower and open my legs more (sounds wrong) when dancing! LOL.

oh yay we're wearing ties on grad day AHAHAHAHA i miss wearing ties ):

okay i'm not making sense i'm gonna watch 3 min of tv then continue on my book!


it was a satisfying day :D like it really really feels good. and thank God that it didn't rain today hahaha weileong was totally like "what wet weather plan there's no wet weather plan FOS will be postponed". GOSH. and it was almost raining halfway through frisbee. and all the fun and the class rooting for each other :D vball first (LOL JIAO LIAN) and frisbee 2nd :D i think there's nothing much that we can ask for anymore. this is amazing. one FOS in one entire lifetime and i think we had no regrets! :D

and i swear i won't ever touch vball again ITS DAMN IRRITATING now my fingers and hands are dying and plus my stupid back (doing BODY WAVES HAHA) plus every part of my body is aching. so i don't know where to start applying deep heat rub because every part of my body needs it -.- LOL!

heyhey YOUUUU cheer up okay! >.< :D:D:D:D

i can just die now HAHAHAHA i'm super tired. and back home i got a huge scolding+nagging from my mum i just told her to shut up aiyah whatever she doesn't understand.

rudolf the red nose raindeer >.< even my scalp is red lah i'm SO DEAD.


'The thing about believing is that it's dangerous. The world can turn upside down in an instant, and just when you think you're on top of everything, you're under it. Believing in something, someone, is hard. Sometimes when you let yourself fall too far, suddenly it's gone."

from chai's blog :D and i think it's so amazing so i like it. HAHA.


HAHAHAHA. so went spent our whole morning and afternoon trying so hard to learn fac dance! :D LOL! and standing kaijian's stinky "nan ren wei" and being tricked into thinking there's biscuits tomorrow and having aches and seeing so many people being late LOLLLL and trying BODYWAVE with the wall and renice succeeded and i concluded i can never do a bodywave HAHAHA and yay it's FOS tomorrow! :D and huijuan and i are so spastic we missed 3 buses before squeezing onto 170 (see why i refuse to take it as always) having 99% of the bus filled with FFI :O LOL. and then weihan couldn't come 'cause of her ankle GET WELL SOON GIRL<3 see school sucks even after promos because we couldn't even watch a single movie over the weekend and we can't for the next 5 days after school. GRAHHHH!

and today is a damn retarded day because i cannot serve a stupid vball over EARLY in the morning :O and zijie keep laughing at me -.- wth
and i don't know why things took a turn and became this way. i don't know what lies ahead.
happy birthday resh in advance :D of tomorrow!

i'm losing faith in everything big time.


I DON'T EVER THINK I WILL PLAY MSN GAMES FOR THE REMAINING OF THE YEAR EVER AGAIN :O

HAHAHAHA.


i was wondering why my contacts are like screwing my eyes up for these two days, until, i saw my watch and realised it's 4th today so it's expired for 2 days?! somewhere there. LOOK WHAT PROMOS HAVE DONE TO US :\ HAHAHA.

choir in the morning! MAMA MIA ROCKS! :D HAHA. look at spastic yingting shaking her butt and doing all sorts of random actions LOL. then had a fit-in-any-word-you-want choir batch lunch @ bukit timah food plaza and then went home and disaster happened halfway i spent 6bucks taking a taxi to my doorstep.

so today was a bad day afterall.

other than realising how screwed i will be for next week THERE'S CHOIR LIKE PRACTICALLY EVERYDAY okay i'm not complaining. i wonder how my parents will react if i tell them i won't be home for dinner for 5 days. ;O

/edit

I THOUGHT PIANO PLAYING WOULD BE A SKILL THAT YOU WILL BE EQUIPPED FOR LIFE.
but i was wrong.

HAHA. although i still can sight read, i can't play well. damn!


一盏黄黄旧旧的灯时间在旁闷不吭声寂寞下手毫无分寸
不懂得轻重之分沉默支撑跃过陌生
静静看著凌晨黄昏你的身影失去平衡慢慢下沉
黑暗已在空中盘旋该往哪我看不见
也许爱在梦的另一端无法存活在真实的空间
想回到过去试著抱你在怀里羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
想看你的看的世界,想在你梦的画面
祇要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜想回到过去试著让故事继续
至少不再让你离我而去分散时间的注意
这次会抱得更紧这样挽留不知还来不来得及想回到过去
思绪不断阻挡著回忆播放盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡
灰蒙蒙的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去
一转身孤单已躺在身旁


Hahaha back home but i'm going off to school in a couple of hours time.

YAYYY I LOVE GIRLS' TALK :D <33. Although I feel abit guilty now for _________ but then what's done cannot be undone. :\ LOL.

Okay I'm like so dead now because I'm reading 3 books simultaneously, 'cause I bought this book in the morning on my way home called Nights In Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks! AND I'M GONNA STAY UP TO FINISH IT TODAY. But nevermind, I was wondering what can I do after promos on I DUNNO days (Adriel Lam suggested PW -.-) so there time to catch up on my reading WHILE I still feel alive. It's damn hard to feel alive these days 'cause everything just seems screwed

And while resh yingting gloria joelynn are still having their BIOLOGY PAPER, HAHAHAHA. Okay I feel damn mean! >.< HAPPIER DAYS AHEAD, with the onlooking buffet and outing for resh's birthday :D

To think this life will be on replay mode when term starts (it doesn't even help if it starts 12 days later than the usual). Then everything will start falling in and out of place. SOMETIMES I'd think that there's no job suitable for me next time because while it must be highly challenging and engaging it must allow me to slack off since it's damn tiring to always be on alert mode. :O

But all I know now is I feel like sleeping for a good 48 hours but then I can't ahhh whatever I think I'm not making sense anymore.

LALALLALLALALALALALALLLA


HAHAHA i'm like waiting for weihan to bathe now which is gonna be a long wait LOL since she claims she takes damn long to bathe!

yay promos are over. more nightmares to come.

what about facing your true inner self ;O even though i might whine and blahblah! okay weihan is out and she claims i'm emo! HAHAHHA.

/edit

anyway. promos is over and i don't know if it's supposed to be something that i should be glad about. it's always so re-self-discovering. discovering about this hidden part that you don't know about yourself, flaws, good points and the bad... this time round i'm thinking that my laziness have extended to my studies ): and mr chua was somehow right in saying that you can never finish studying for promos.

and promos makes you realise who are those that really stay by your side through thick and thin, those who genuinely care and are concerned about you, those that you know will always be there at the end of the day, those that gives you lots of encouragements that comes from within, those who constantly pray for you, all the countless jiayous... i thank God for these people in my life <3

and then it's time to think about how to move on from here, practicality versus reality versus interest. twice in five years i have gave up what i truly like, for the pursuit of something more practical, more useful, and this time round from the very start of the year i was guided, to just focus on getting a science degree rather than an arts one, and was quite convinced to do so... until i ask myself yet again is this what i really want. i'm thankful that i don't have parents who draft and plan out my entire life, possibly to allow me attain great success in the later part of my life. yet again, it's also because of this same reason that i am always misleaded. i don't have this clear specific end point that i see at the end of my path. so at the end of the day, i don't really know if it's a good or bad thing.

we really have so much to learn. now, without any constrains, i allow my mind to run free and think of one thousand million possibilities in the world, only to confuse myself as usual. i don't know, as to what it is to be or what it is going to be. and uncertainties are about the suckiest things on earth. i don't enjoy/like guessing games at all....


Dance, as though no one is watching you
Love, as though you have never been hurt before
Sing, as though no one can hear you
Live, as though heaven is on earth

- from huiyi's blog. HAHAHA. i like! :D

i think i'm having slight fever now wth i hope it either gets better or escalates into a high fever so i can skip tomorrow's paper for good. AHAHA.

was watching this documentary yesterday night. yeah, i suppose life does get better from the bad. but i'm still not okay HAHAHA wth.